Funny or interesting IC quotes

[Axiom]

Yes, it really is.

Okay, it's been four days!

4784-7.13: Valeros says: "[...] *chuckles and shakes his head dismissively* You are a nobody. [...]"

4784-7.17: Valeros says: "Even if you manage to make off with my raker and are no captured its not the end of the world. Ships can easily be replaced. The town next to the town I run owns a ship factory. That is where I bought my ships. I can always buy another one."

4784-7.34: You hear from radio at freq. 100: "Emergency Request! This is Valeros Ironside, leader of New Shambon and owner of Valeros Trade Goods. I am currently in [REDACTED] and I am under attack by pirates. They are currently trying to break the lock to my raker called the Valiance which is docked right off the coast. I tried to stop them and got attacked several times. They are in a fully rigged raker called [REDACTED]. I know a few of their names: [REDACTED]. There a few more of them I do not know. Myself and two of my townsfolk are going to try to dock back to the raker and get it to [REDACTED] before they break the lock. Please help if you can!"

4785-0.02: You hear from radio at freq. 100: "They have already broken the lock now. They are on my ship. I am trying to get back to shore to avoid death. I really need help. There are at least 6 of them so myself and my two townsfolk are not going to be able to take them all on. We are going to try to make it to [REDACTED] somehow with or smaller boats. Please, if you say my raker or theirs help if you can. Jasper and others in Hamlet Seawood, not sure if you guys are still out and about but I know you are aware of how many years it took me to build my raker and buy the parts from you guys. I would be very appreciative if you could help out."

[iavatus]

Has it? Time flies when interesting things are happening. Huzzah for our ... well. Huzzah for you.

I hated redacted last time I was there. Kept seeing these big censor boxes over things.

[Father Brian]

Yeah I tried going into [REMOVED], but I couldn't find the [CENSORED] because everything was [NOPE]. Tis a silly place.

[Spillages]

Yeah I tried going into [REMOVED], but I couldn't find the [CENSORED] because everything was [NOPE]. Tis a silly place.

I actually found [CENSORED] once, trust me, you don't want to see [REMOVED] anyways. I [NOPE]'d out of there as quick as I could.

[iavatus]

4787.
Kai says: "Okay Una. *he smiles* Kitty...Auntie Kitty. *he nods* Auntie Kitty can I borrow the fishing pole for fishing please? *he smiles*"

Misha says: "What's a Auntie? Is that another word for Empress? *he tilts his head*"

Felix says: "And now you've thrown out two more words, which have little meaning."

Felix says: "Don't know. Is aunt, mother, sister words that make sense?"

Misha says: "Oooh okay! Well I know what a Mother is, like Mother Donii, and a Father, I've heard those ones."

Misha says: "And I heard sister but I thought it was for towns, like Kiii is Zuzi's sister."

Felix says: "So *scratches his head* He called the empress a cave-sex city?. That does sound like an insult."

Zhao says: "*he opens his eyes for a little bit and stands up patting down the dust* Sheamus keep an ear for something important it seems there might be a fight soon. *he yawns as he walks out of the factory* "

Zhao says: "*he stretches his neck* Is there seem to be a problem here? You know if either insult or cause problem's here I will have to haul you to the jail. *he looks at Felix and Kai with annoyed red eyes* Look just talk civil alright? "

Felix says: "A question is raised, little boy, not yelling or screaming. Threats, coming from you *shakes his head* Not anyone else."

Empress Kitty Hawk says: "Felix.. * glances over at him * Kai is a guest here just like you. Please act according while in our town."

Zhao says: "*he sighs and stops for a moment* You... *he looks at Felix with dagger eyes* you sound familiar on the radio. Say don't tell me your the one who was talking trash on Zuzi on the radio? *he smiles* "

Felix says: "There was trash talked? I heard little, only that there were pirates about. I like your axe. You misspelt wielded."

Zhao says: "*he smiles* Ah...yes the axe don't blame me. I thank Loki for it, you see Felix I will run out of patience...so before I do one more thing. Don't play smart. *he grips his axe tightly* "

Felix says: "Being the soul of politeness, Empress. I asked a question, of a word."

Felix says: "Your boy here, starts thumbing his axe and drooling. I admire his axe."

Felix says: "Which law did I break today?"

Empress Kitty Hawk says: "Yes you raised the question about someone choice of wordage. everyone has different ways of expressing things, it is not necessary to put them down for it.. and as for My boy here Zhao is a Guard for the Imperial of Zuzi, and you will give him that respect."

Felix says: "*shrugs* Respect is earned for actions. Not a title that he earns by waving an axe at a person, asking questions."

Zhao says: "*he stretches his neck* You know I want to see how hard you can hit me. *he smiles*"

Felix says: "I can hit you very hard Zhao, in the area I excell in. *tap dances a little and smiles* In being graceful."

Zhao says: "*he points at him* He is right. As for you though Felix, I suspect you being part of that radio insulter. He or she talked just like you. "

You say: "Ha! *his head rolls back and he laughs* Oh dear, that is adorable. I don't even know the words said, and even so, are they not words?"

Empress Kitty Hawk says: " The inclination to cause unnecessary drama... will notbe tolerated. * she reminds him* Zhao please stand down. I can handle this. "

Zhao says: "*he nods* Alright Empress, I will be here waiting. "

Empress Kitty Hawk says: "Felix I think you have wore your welcome out and need to leave.. you are trying to cause trouble. "

Felix says: "If you insist, Empress. I would like to know of what radio insults I've been accused of, however."

Felix says: "Or laws broken."

Empress Kitty Hawk says: "Felix I will not play you games of words.. you are causing a problem here..We welcomed you with open arms, you are a guest in our town"

Felix says: "And I will go, concerns me not the slightest. But words, ah. Words are life."

Felix says: "What am I accused of? Simple question, Empress."

Empress Kitty Hawk says: "We do not accuse you of anything Felix.. except causing unnecessary drama"




Felix says: "A man uses the word Aunt. Another person inquires what it means. He uses mother, and sister, in some conjuction. Mother, the mother donii, which is all about caveman doing other cavemen, from the note there. And sister? is something about a city."




Felix says: "You have pirates, off the shore, and it's someone asking questions that you're worried about?"

Empress Kitty Hawk says: "You now insult this town Church.."




Zhao says: "Alright come here buddy. "




Felix says: "I insult nothing, nor imply nothing not in the note there."

Empress Kitty Hawk says: "This town is built around our beliefs of Donii"

Felix says: "Updated a millenia ago."

Felix says: "If you read insult in the meanings, then that's from them themselves, not I."

Zhao says: "The boy has his own meaning for the word. *he looks over to Kai* The boy is childish but he means well not for anything else. Alright Felix. *he looks over to Felix with his tired eyes*"

Empress Kitty Hawk says: "Felix enough.. *she demands*"

Felix says: "I do apologise, that something is being created over nothing."

Felix says: "But I didn't create, nor fuel this."

Felix says: "Faith is a strong as the weakest link, as the questions it allows. Apparently, the name alone isn't strong enough for question over it's meaning."

Empress Kitty Hawk says: "You are not a member of this town, you are not a servant of Donii, you don't come to a town and insult their Church. "

Felix says: "There was no insult given. Only taken, and that's at the receiver end, much like *he grins* a radio."

Empress Kitty Hawk says: "Misha, the best way to deal with people like this is to ignore them."

Felix says: "A man with a transmitter, can broadcast anything. It takes a receiver to hear things. If the receiver is distorted, it'll hear things it wants to."

Empress Kitty Hawk says: "Yes Felix we have heard the opinions on the radio, was it your express purpose to come here to add yours? "





You overhear Empress Kitty Hawk say to Honey: "he is hiding in the car.. it be hard to remove him if it is locked.. "




Felix says: "*looks at her* I heard that."

Zhao says: "*he shakes his head and walks over to a unmarked grave to sit by it*"

Felix says: "Hardly, Empress dear. I was on a travel, and heard the news. Being a straight line, this was my only possibly route."

Felix says: "Not being a warrior, of Zhao's renown and prowess, nor willing to jump into fights, I would've gone around."

Felix says: "May I wait for my friend to awaken, in silence?"

Empress Kitty Hawk says: "we could help you move your friend, it that is what is holding you up"

Felix says: "Yessss. Well, seeing as I overheard you commenting how to get me into a cell, you'll have to forgive me for not trusting that as much as I did when coming here."



Empress Kitty Hawk says: "I give my word you wont be dragged off.. but if you contuine we will break your locks and you will be locked up"



Felix says: "Effort you didn't spare for an actual pirate, right out there in the bay."

Felix says: "I hope Valeros gets as much aid reclaiming his posessions, as you do in times of religious fervor, over something you have not dusted off in a millenia."



Zhao says: "Just leave alright? *he exhales slowly*"

Town is left

Zhao says: "YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!! YOU INSULTED MOSS!!!! "

Zhao says: "RRAGGGGHHHHH!!!!! Alex he going to pay for what he did!"

Stabbing, decent wound



Alex Myers says: "Zhao, leave the little prick alone (ooc: by the way Felix's player, I reported your caveman comment, that was from the forum and your character shouldn't know that)"

Felix says: "*silently mops up his arm with some hemp, leave it to the ground, then scribbles more on the map*"

Zhao says: "*he grits his teeth and exhales* Felix if I see you again you are dead....."

Alex Myers says: "You came into a city and started mouthing off about all kinds of stuff. Whilst Zhao shouldn't have hit you, you were being a prick"

Felix says: "*scribbles more on the map note, tilting it so "Kai is the most effective guard there" are visible*"

Alex Myers says: "Kai is a visitor, as you were told back in Zuzi"

Felix says: "My point stands."

Alex Myers says: "How does it, he isn't a guard"

Felix says: "And yet he's the most effective one."

Alex Myers says: "You've only been hit by two people, one of whom isn't one of our guards. If this was some other city, chances are that you would have found the most effective one by now, and he or she wouldn't be just hitting you with a stick"

Felix says: "I don't mean in terms of skill. Any idiot can wield a weapon with skill."

Felix says: "I mean in terms of being a useful guard. Preventing problems, not causing them."

Felix says: "Defusing, not igniting."

Zhao says: "...Don't you ever...talk about Moss like that...."

Felix says: "*looks down the round* Drat. I'm moving towards further Donii, aren't I?"

Forest Evergreen says: "Unless you commit some crime, I don't foresee you falling under arrest. As an indirect answer to your question, don't expect your vitrol to find much footing in Kiii either."

Felix says: "What vitriole? I asked a deuced question."

Felix says: "If this is what your religion allows, threatening attack and chasing a question, you yourself, paint it worse then I could with the blackest brush."

Forest Evergreen says: "*he nods* Yes, that vitrol there."

Felix says: "This is from your own actions! I'm stating them, as plainly as possible! What more can you ask?"

Timestamps removed, reaction emotes removed.

[Axiom]

Zhao says: "Just leave alright? *he exhales slowly*"

Town is left

Zhao says: "YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!! YOU INSULTED MOSS!!!! "

Zhao says: "RRAGGGGHHHHH!!!!! Alex he going to pay for what he did!"

Stabbing, decent wound

Ahahaha, what the hell happened in that gap there? I like the RRAGGGGHHHHH too.

[Marian]

I know Zuzi hate is such a longstanding tradition on this board it's almost a cliche, but ya know, the more I hear about it, the gladder I am I said screw it and let my newspawn there sleep to death long ago. It was annoying then and now it sounds like it's gotten exponentially worse. Doesn't help that there's a couple characters who seems pretty much a fixture there that drive me nuts with their...hmm. Let's just say unique accents?

Felix says: "*scribbles more on the map note, tilting it so "Kai is the most effective guard there" are visible*"

Alex Myers says: "Kai is a visitor, as you were told back in Zuzi"

Felix says: "My point stands."

Alex Myers says: "How does it, he isn't a guard"

Felix says: "And yet he's the most effective one."

Alex Myers says: "You've only been hit by two people, one of whom isn't one of our guards. If this was some other city, chances are that you would have found the most effective one by now, and he or she wouldn't be just hitting you with a stick"

Felix says: "I don't mean in terms of skill. Any idiot can wield a weapon with skill."

Felix says: "I mean in terms of being a useful guard. Preventing problems, not causing them."

Felix says: "Defusing, not igniting."

Zhao says: "...Don't you ever...talk about Moss like that...."

LOLing at this part. And really all throughout it, there's so much miscommunication going on, can picture some of those lines just physically sailing right over their heads. And there's the mention of mysterious Moss again, but I missed the insult part.

Agreed though that RRAGGGGHHHHH!!!!! is the winner here. I must find a way to work RRAGGGGHHHHH!!!!! into casual conversation IRL.

Just noticed Axiom's post about yours and that made me smile too. 'Pfft. You are nothing! And I can just buy a new ship!" vs "Oh god you guys you know how hard I worked for that ship please help please help i don't want to diiiiie...

[Wolfsong]

Huh, weirdly edited log there. My character had a large part in that log, I think, but you cut out every mention of what was said.

Edit: Bottom to top, because I'm a lazy bugger.

Felix (a man in his thirties) says: "Anyway. Guards, a pleasure. Kai, I hope all the best for you. Forest and honey fellow,, I'll see you in Kii"

Felix (a man in his thirties) says: "I worry, if that's the people you encounter often enough to think all are like that. And my deepest sympathies, to you for such."

Felix (a man in his thirties) says: "Do you honestly believe I would leave my home of 12 years, and within several days, go and pick a fight for no benefit?"

You say to Forest Evergreen (a man in his twenties): "He wants to argue. That's why I've gone quiet. Give him a quiet escort to Kii, and don't humor him."

Felix (a man in his thirties) says: "This is from your own actions! I'm stating them, as plainly as possible! What more can you ask?"

Forest Evergreen (a man in his twenties) says: "*he nods* Yes, that vitrol there."

Felix (a man in his thirties) says: "If this is what your religion allows, threatening attack and chasing a question, you yourself, paint it worse then I could with the blackest brush."

Felix (a man in his thirties) says: "What vitriole? I asked a deuced question."

Forest Evergreen (a man in his twenties) says: "Unless you commit some crime, I don't foresee you falling under arrest. As an indirect answer to your question, don't expect your vitrol to find much footing in Kiii either."

You see Felix (a man in his thirties) talking to Alex Meyers (a man who is very old).

Felix (a man in his thirties) says: "*looks down the round* Drat. I'm moving towards further Donii, aren't I?"

Felix (a man in his thirties) says: "If this escort is to point me out towards the town, and affect my further arrest, it would be a most disheartening disservice, to one already leaving."

You say: "As I've said, you will receive escort to Kii. *He lifts his shoulders in a shrug, still holding onto the back of the saddle.*"

Felix (a man in his thirties) says: "I don't believe I need an escort, but someone to talk to? That could be appreciated. My thanks again, mister."

Felix (a man in his thirties) says: "With adequate compensation, I will state it once, and ameliorate it. No actual damage done, no need to drag your towns name through the mud, for the actions of a few."

You say: "*He arches a brow.* We'll provide escort to Kii. Afterwards, where you go is your own business. The others will return to Zuzi."

Felix (a man in his thirties) says: "Whenever Zuzi is mentioned, without compensation, I will have to report that they cheerfully, gleefully, without due provocation, will attack and imprison."

Felix (a man in his thirties) says: "What is a mother? What is an aunt, or sister? Not words to kill for."

Felix (a man in his thirties) says: "*shakes his head* And let her do the same, to the next person who asks the same question?"

You say: "If you had been threatened by the Empress, I would've killed you just then, not handed you honey. You were told to drop the argument, and to leave. You've done the latter. Do the former."

Felix (a man in his thirties) says: "A guard, flew off the handle and attacked, with no actual threat in sight."

Felix (a man in his thirties) says: "But as I said to them, and I say to you, this is not compensation. I was threatened, by the Empress herself, for asking a question. I heard that, and quickly returned to my point of safety."

You say: "Consider it recompense from the Guard and from the Mother Herself, through her servant Theodor. Don't thank me for it - I certainly wasn't advocating on your behalf."

Felix (a man in his thirties) says: "My thanks for the honey, I do hope they, the guards, recompense you for such a gift."

Felix (a man in his thirties) says: "My intent was to ask a question, to clarify a meaning, but I can't prove that."

Felix (a man in his thirties) says: "*shrugs* Not the politest way to phrase it, but at least you're honest, and forthcoming."

You give 400 grams of honey to Felix (a man in his thirties).

You say: "I'm just a private citizen. *He exhales.* For the record, I think you're a piece of shit, and intended for something like this to happen. But that doesn't excuse the fact that it did happen."

Felix (a man in his thirties) says: "Who are you, sir? You sound like the voice of reason here."

Zhao (a man in his twenties) says: "...Don't you ever...talk about Moss like that...."

You say: "You'll have your share of talking to do to Loki, Landis and the Empress, I imagine."

Felix (a man in his thirties) says: "He's busy being an amazing guard. Stabbing people and screaming about mothers."

Zhao (a man in his twenties) says: "We are going back... *he exhales* I..just don't want to talk for awhile."

You say to Forest Evergreen (a man in his twenties): "The same. *He pauses.* I should mention I resigned from the Guard a few days ago. I was told I was doing a poor job."

Forest Evergreen (a man in his twenties) says to you: "Yes, that is what I gather based on the fatigued shown by Zhao and Kai, and the damage sustained by Felix."

You say to Forest Evergreen (a man in his twenties): "Zhao, Alex and Kai are headed back to Zuzi. He might've talked sense into them. Too late, still."

You say to Forest Evergreen (a man in his twenties): "Zhao and Kai both struck out at him. He doesn't appear to have swung back. Alex hasn't gotten involved yet, either. *He guesses, studying the mob.*"

You say: "Zhao, tell me what's going on. Full detail, spare nothing. *He hangs onto the horse's saddle with one hand, looking awkward.*"

[Wolfsong]

Also, if this is what counts for funny these days... I really need to hunt through my old logs. Some of the stuff in there is actually hilarious.

[Marian]

Also, if this is what counts for funny these days... I really need to hunt through my old logs. Some of the stuff in there is actually hilarious.

Yeah, but your quotes weren't funny. Interesting, but not funny. Where's the confusion with simple sentences, the RRAGGGGHHHHH!!!!!, and detailed RP like "he is hiding in the car.. it be hard to remove him if it is locked.." from the regal Empress? That's the caliber of stuff we need in this thread.

I'm sorry, I can't help it, Zuzi always makes me laugh. Just such a special and unique mix of characters all around, most of whom just have you shaking your head and wondering who ever thought it was a good idea to hand them keys.

[Wolfsong]

Mine weren't funny, because they were completing the piecemeal log from above. If we're going to just post cringeworthy roleplay, or weird as shit acts of OOC, we should make another thread for that and leave this one to the pithy, hilarious even when taken out of context moments.

[iavatus]

Plenty of funny in there, but I did trim the sighing and reasonable response out. Because being chased by madmen on foot versus a car = funny. By a pair on horseback, being reasonable, not so funny. Preferable, but harder to get a chuckle out of. Glad it meets your approval though.

http://alphabetizer.flap.tv/index.php

viewtopic.php?f=1&t=27045.

Useful tool to flip the logs, and some other useful things in there.

[Marian]

and leave this one to the pithy, hilarious even when taken out of context moments.

I've got pages and pages and pages of that kind of thing saved but I can't post any because it would out my character.

[Wolfsong]

4776-5: Mona (a woman in her twenties) says: "English men must be giants, and english women leprachauns then. *She snickers softly.* I suppose the polish are just normal. And Devora you're adorable! You shouldn't be embarrassed at all."

4776-5: Devora (a woman in her thirties) says: "*She murmurs something unintelligible behind her hands*"

4776-5: Artax (a man in his twenties) says: "Oh, Ae'goloth used to live here. He was huge. He was about a head higher than me and he looked to be soo heavy. And Micky says, that I am shorter than an English man who she had known long time ago. *he turns toward Devora and puts his arm around her, giving her a warm smile* I love the way you are. No need to feel embarassed. It's as if I kept being embarassed about being so hairy. "

4776-5: Mona (a woman in her twenties) says: "If english men are taller than you I will find myself a polish one, if I ever fancy to have one at all. *She chuckles faintly.*"

4776-5: Devora (a woman in her thirties) says: "*she blushes more and hides her face in her hands*"

4776-5: Mona (a woman in her twenties) says: "But you're super tall, how is that possible. *She blinks in confusion.*"

4776-5: Artax (a man in his twenties) says: "*he chuckles when he sees Devora blush* It is quite nice actually. You're my Leprechaun. *he winks and turns toward Mona* Well, the funny thing is that I am shorter than any English man I've know or heard of. You are a bit taller than Devora and Micky, but just a bit. "

4776-5: Mona (a woman in her twenties) says: "Well what makes you all so tall? *She chuckles.*"

4776-5: a woman in her forties says: "I'm taller than Devora?*she. murmured with a faint smile *"

4776-5: Devora (a woman in her thirties) says: "*she blushes* We cannot help it."

4776-5: Artax (a man in his twenties) says: "By the way, I was just wondering,what makes you, the English women so short? Every English woman which I know is rather short, though Micky claims that she knew one who was high, higher than her husband, and she used to lift him and drag him in and out of a car. *he chuckles*"

4776-5: Artax (a man in his twenties) says: "*he blushes a little and grins* Thank you. Now Micky will have to stop calling me the Caveman. *he grins* "

4776-5: Mona (a woman in her twenties) says: "*She waves.* Hello Artax! You look really cool with your new look!"

[Marian]

4783-4: You see a man in his twenties pointing at a man in his thirties.
4783-4: a man in his twenties says: "Ha! I got you"
4783-4: You see a man in his thirties entering [a place], coming from [a place].
4783-4: a man in his thirties says: "*leans over, drapes an arm around him, and then sluuuuurp. Big lick, upside the face*"
4783-4: a man in his thirties says: "Ha! I got you!"


And I'm sure most of you have read it, but I'm looking at that huge radio conversation on crowbars and just wanting to post it so bad, but despairing of ever editing it down to a manageable length...