The grant-a-wish game

[Darigan]

granted Jos has returned and tired of the world gone mad, he destroys his creation.


I wish technology didn't hate me

[gejyspa]

Granted. Technology loves you. So much so that the evil robots that have destroyed all the rest of mankind keep you as a slave, and whenever you try to kill yourself, they use their technology to revive you. Unfortunately, being robots, they understand nothing about pain, so that part of your miserable (but yet eternal) existence they haven't done anything about.

I wish the a/c install today will in fact take ONLY today, and not go into tomorrow.

[Snickie]

Granted. They finish it today! But they do a crap job, and termites (yes, termites!) eat through the pipes just before you go to bed. The cooling chemical leaks into the yard all night, and the next day not only is your A/C dead, but your yard is dead too, and you end up spending thousands of dollars to repair the damage because there was no warranty on the A/C. Not only that, but when you receive your monthly A/C bill, you have to pay for all the extra cooling liquid that spilled out into your yard.

I wish that everybody in the jazz band would all know and can play their parts correctly!

[Nakranoth]

Granted, but for artistic reasons, they all choose to play something completely different. In the end it sounds even worse than it started, as people are playing conflicting pieces.

(Wow, this game's still alive?)

I wish my phone weren't broken.

[rain21]

Granted! But I stole it while you were sleeping and i'm prank calling everyone you know

I wish my printer worked

[Snickie]

Your printer /does/ work. Just not for you.

I wish my laptop charger were fixed.

[Nakranoth]

Done. It can no longer have children.

I wish for a standard that could unify all the current competing standards.

[gejyspa]

Done. Unfortunately, all lengths are now in fractions of a parsec, all masses are now in multiples of electron mass and time in fractions of one galactic rotation. Kids everywhere rebel, leading to mass chaos. The world leadership would have responded, but due to the meeting time not being taken out to enough decimal places (galactic rotations since the creation of the universe), most delegates were anywhere from 60 years too early or too late for the meeting.

I wish some character would interact with my cantr characters. Heck, I'll even take agonizing death.

[Snickie]

Granted. All of the towns your characters are currently in receive a sudden influx of visitors. However, as you're trying to interact with them, your computer dies, and it takes a week-and-a-half to get an appointment to repair. By the time you get to return to the game, all of your characters are dead, and it's too late to claim turn reports and find out how and why it happened, leaving an empty, void feeling inside your mind. Your wife notices this last symptom, and forcibly puts you into rehab.


I wish it weren't so blistering hot!

[Darigan]

Granted drastic climate change brings on the next world wide ice age.

I wish I could find a job that would allow me to sit at home on my computer all day.

[Indigo]

Granted. You get a 18 hours/day job sitting at home on your computer all day, but they cut off any other program, game, or access to any internet site, so you actually must -work- 18 hours a day.

I wish I had my inspiration back.

[Snickie]

Granted. You regain your inspiration, at the cost of everyone else's inspirations. So now while you're trying to stir up good roleplay, nobody else has any interesting idea of how to respond. You become frustrated beyond what you can handle, and come up with a creative, elaborate way of suicide in order to end your frustrations.

I wish this sinus headache would go away.

[gejyspa]

Granted. You now are headless.

I wish I would actually get off my butt and do my work.

[Snickie]

Granted. Your chair and floor are taken away and replaced with a 1'x1' pedestal in a field of molten lava, and all access to Cantr is cut off, so now you must stand and actually do your work.


I wish our band would qualify and block for State.

[gejyspa]

Granted. Unfortunately, to "block for State" is interpreted as being in the front defensive line for FSU's next football game. Your clarinet provides little defense against the 250lb linebackers on the opposing team.

I wish I could catch up on my email while still actually reading all of the non-spam.