Postby Doug R. » Thu Feb 03, 2011 1:17 pm
He and his floozy went on a trading trip (which was really a let's get away from my sleeping wife and have sex trip), when they came back, she told the town that he had died there and a newspawn buried him before she could react. It was a great plan, really. Unfortunately, being as weak-willed as he was, he just had to tell his best friend the truth, who is notorious for over-reacting and not keeping her mouth shut. In this case, an over-reaction was justified, and of course she couldn't keep the secret, so the whole town found out, and he was nearly executed by the Emperor, ostensibly for abandoning his post, but really because he hurt the Emperor's feelings. The Emperor then kept him under house arrest, and sent his floozy into exile on a boat after stripping her of all her possessions. She of course started trouble against the Empire in the place she landed, but I heard that since then, trouble found her, terminally. Landis was unceremoniously divorced by his wife of many decades, who, even more crushingly than crying or acting hurt, just told him that she was "disappointed." He then spent several years literally living like a homeless man in town, laying about in an unkept state, generally feeling sorry for himself and all the people he hurt, being emotionally spat upon by some of the townsfolk that found they could not forgive him. Since then, all the people that hated him because of what he did fell asleep, and the town's attitude turned back favorably upon him. The Emperor, having finally found happiness and a reason to live in a spunky young guard, granted Landis' new wife's request to free him. And there that story ends.
Hamsters is nice. ~Kaylee, Firefly