The grant-a-wish game

[gejyspa]

Granted... unfortunately, after a long period of peace, where we have forgotten how to wage war, we are quickly enslaved by the alien race who attack first our outer colonies, and finally, the motherworld.

I wish this wind weren't QUITE so blustery.

[Snickie]

Granted. The wind stops completely. The next spring and summer, a drought occurs because there has been no wind to bring rain clouds. In addition to that, planes have ceased coming in because airlines wouldn't've been able to bring them back due to no wind to assist in taking off. Tourism declines, and the economy plummets. People no longer have money to buy food, and due to this, food companies have shut down their stores and stopped food transportation through the town. Famine ensues, followed by mass starvation (people can't afford to get gas to drive away), and the town falls into ruin.

I wish to be done with my English homework...forever.

[Joshuamonkey]

Granted, but your odd lack of English homework causes other teachers to give you more homework, and then you're required to write a ton of essays for non English college classes but don't know how to write!
..that's the best I could come up with.

I wish that I was, am, and will be a perfect person.

[gejyspa]

Granted. This causes half the people on Earth to claim you as the Messiah, and the other half to claim you as a false Messiah. Worldwide religious war breaks out, reducing the world to a smoking pile of rubble, leaving the real Messiah when he comes to say, "What th...?"

I wish for peace on Earth, good will towards men... oh, yeah, and a million bucks...(with apologies to Steve Martin)

[Lore]

Wish granted: World war 3 occurs, destroying earth! No more war! Or anything else. You recieve a million dollars, but as America went boom like the rest of the planet, it's worthless. Fortunately, mankind colonised another planet! And there is goodwill to all men! But not to any women, causing a revolution and a long blody war, in which mankind wipes itself out.

I wish for people to only wish one wish per post.

[Joshuamonkey]

Your wish would be a wish for each individual poster to only wish one wish, which means your wish is multiple wishes, even though it's actually one wish, especially because you wished it to be so, along with all wishes. The paradox causes stars which have been wished upon to explode.
Whose bright idea was it to wish upon the sun? (pun intended)

I wish that everyone in the world has the food they need.

[Snickie]

Granted. Nobody goes hungry. This causes a decline in economy because nobody is buying or selling foodstuffs. In addition, this causes a population explosion due to lack of starvation. This causes the economy to plummet at an even greater rate. The lack of profit causes the masses of people to form riots, and they ensue the extermination of the human species.

I wish for Snick to not be quite as fat as she is so she'll live longer.

[Cheshierekat]

Wish granted...Snick loses so much weight that while walking with you on the street one day she slips through the storm grate and lives out a long and happy life eating rats in the sewer. Good news, she's happy...bad news...you have to go underground to see her.

I wish I could sleep.

[Cwalen]

Wish granted, however to wake up you need to be licked by a Tom cat with the loyalty of a dog.

I wish it was less than ten years before I could look forward to having paid off the land I want.

[gejyspa]

Wish granted. It's then discovered to have been the dumping ground of a toxic chemical company, and no one is foolsih enough to buy it off you.

I wish my back wasn't aching.

[Cheshierekat]

Wish granted, but the pain in your back has moved to your mouth.

I wish the packing pixies would come pack my stuff for me so I could spend more time on Cantr. (geez, I am such an addict)

[joo]

The packing pixies are actually packing gypsies who steal all of your stuff.

I wish I could use .NET framework 4.0 instead of .NET framework 3.5 for this project I'm working on.

[Snickie]

Granted. You install the program, and as soon as you're done with the work, your computer crashes because it can't contain so much awesome and high-level framework. You lose all your work.

I wish for a new, silver saxophone!

[Armulus Satchula]

Granted. However, you find out as soon as your toot your horn that it is a sexophone and it promptly rapes you to death.

I wish wish for something that isn't bad.

[Cheshierekat]

Granted. However, you find out as soon as your toot your horn that it is a sexophone and it promptly rapes you to death.

I wish wish for something that isn't bad.

I was going to respond with something almost as violent but chose not to because I wanted to be nice....wow....I was just going to say that her wish was granted but then she got in an accident and lost the use of her mouth so she couldn't play the sax anymore...