Rape...

[maliseh]

So I want to ask you guys about something.

I've come into contact with a couple of characters - one of whom is a close friend of my char - who have been raped.

Now, I know this is roleplay and all. And when it comes to pirates and murders of any sort I find a certain amount of unpleasantness about it but give me any rpg game on a pc or console and I'll play it once good and once evil, I get it.

But...in a solely text-based rpg game where the only physical contact possible is through a shared imagination, I find something highly disturbing about a person who would create a character and send them to rape somebody.

And hey, maybe I'm just overly sensitive. I'll admit to you that I'm a victim of rape myself - and that's as far as I'll take that particular subject, but I'm aware that it is therefore a more uncomfortable thing for me than for many because I've experienced it.

But still...I don't understand how any text-based char could possibly find a logical way of needing to rape somebody - because to do so requires them to imagine that they are doing such a thing, and if someone can first-off imagine that they are doing something like that to somebody without flinching, and then be ok enough with that to actually write to another human being that they are raping them, I...find myself of the opinion that such an individual needs, at best, some psychological counselling.

I don't know. I just find myself incredibly disturbed that somebody could picture themselves raping someone and find that to be acceptable - and I find myself in fact quite afraid of anyone who would then proceed to inform another person that their char is braping the other char.

It's just something that I feel is unnecessary, uncalled for, inappropriate and, frankly, cruel - if it were my character who experienced this, it wouild be me who would suffer for it, and I don't like the idea that this is acceptable. There's a limit, there's a line, there's a point where you need to stop because the thing you're typing is gonna harm a real person - and this is one of those things.

And I wanna stress that this just my opinion on the subject, and I just wanted to get that off my chest cos it's been really bothering me, and now it's done I shall be moving on with life, cool?

xx

[*Wiro]

You should realize that your characters and other people their characters are not people. They're text, just as the rape, as well as their reasons for raping the other character.

It's terrible to actually experience such things for real, and I can imagine that you'd feel uncomfortable with it in roleplaying as well, and you should know that a rape is only a roleplayed rape if both the players as well as anyone watching agree with it, as it wouldn't be just roleplayed if a character of yours was raped without your permission.

You can always use OOC messages to tell them you're not ok with it, and if they keep pushing it, then you can tell it to the PD.

[El_Skwidd]

You can always use OOC messages to tell them you're not ok with it, and if they keep pushing it, then you can tell it to the PD.

Absolutely true. The same goes for RPing through any kind of sex act. Some people like to go into detail, others don't, but they still want their characters to have that kind of relationship. That's by no means a bad thing, and any other player must respect your wishes in that regard. If they don't, it turns into a predation issue and could probably be seen as illegal.

Your major point was about describing rape, though, and I can tell you that as from a writer's standpoint, describing horrific acts of that nature has little to do with actually desiring them (either desiring to participate in, witness, or wishing those acts upon another). I recently wrote a longer piece about a torture murderer that hypothesized insights into her life; while not the main focus of the work, the violence she committed could not legitimately be left out. I have never stabbed, beaten, or attacked anybody - I've never even been in a real fight, but the scenes that I wrote actually gave a few of my friends chills. At one point one of them put it down and walked away for a few minutes.

Does that mean that I'm insane? I certainly hope not! I would never wish that kind of thing on another person. Utilizing horrible things as creative devices and performing them in real life are* worlds apart.

*read: should be. I realize that some people write about these things with intentions of doing them (serial killers keeping diaries), but I like to think that those are exceptional cases and the vast majority of horror/macabre writers are not that way.

[*Wiro]

You can always use OOC messages to tell them you're not ok with it, and if they keep pushing it, then you can tell it to the PD.

Absolutely true. The same goes for RPing through any kind of sex act. Some people like to go into detail, others don't, but they still want their characters to have that kind of relationship. That's by no means a bad thing, and any other player must respect your wishes in that regard. If they don't, it turns into a predation issue and could probably be seen as illegal.

Yes. That's why I hope any player would roleplay sex in no other way than a way which is comfortable with both players. Some might be fine with just *he slowly enters her and starts making love*, others are fine with just *has sex with her* and others would prefer *he slowly shoves his large cock in her vagina and moans softly of pleasure. He pushes it half-way in, and then pulls back, repeating this several times, his moaning becoming louder* and so oooon.

I certainly hope no one would not have their characters have a relationship with someone because they don't want to go into the details of sex.

[Diego]

I think all "limits, points, lines" are bullshit, and I think rape can and should be roleplayed, on occasion, if a character's psyche calls for it. We have serial murderers, sociopathic backstabbers and betrayers, and who knows what else in there. There's bound to be at least a few instances wherein a given character has to rape, say, a female prisoner, because doing anything else (or nothing) would simply be bad roleplay of the character's established personality. Rape is mean, yeah, but many characters are very mean.

[Idriveayugo]

Maliseh, overly sensitive people like you who try to control what law abiding people can and can not do are the pitfalls of society. I'm sorry you were raped, but this is a text based game, don't try to control people in it. If you don't like what goes on in the game just don't play, or just tell the person to stop (you are allowed to do that).

[SekoETC]

I have played two rapists, one of whom is still alive. With the first one, the victim was played by someone I knew in advance, and the characters had lived in the same town for years even though they were rather distant and he generally disliked her. He told her what would happen if she wouldn't stop following him, but she considered her duty to make sure he wouldn't go and get himself killed so she was ready to endure practically becoming his slave to keep him out of trouble.

The second case was first seduced by a poorly played nymphomaniac, who constantly made him feel incompetant because he never managed to make her cum. They were together for years and sex always led to frustration and a sense of failure. Also he never learned what women in general like or can endure, because the girlfriend was played by a man who had very limited knowledge of female anatomy. Had they lived in a large town, he would have probably been able to find someone better, but they settled a primitive location and later received a lot of Russian neighbors, but rarely other English people. Anyway, the girlfriend got sleepy and he left her locked inside while he went to explore the region.

When he got back, she had been cutting herself so that she was over half-dead. He got very mad at her and threw her out. He considered it selfish that she tried to take her own life, since she had never expressed personal needs (except for the need to serve him), so he thought she only existed for his amusement. The others were more sympathetic towards her and gave her some healing food. She was farming for more when a wolf attacked her and finished her off with a single bite. He was awfully lost since even though she had caused him a ton of frustration, of course he had grown fond of him. There was one other woman in the location, a Russian newspawn, but they didn't have a common language. He was never able to tell her that he had fallen in love with her. He considered her pretty much a saint, of course his image of her was limited and colored. Sometimes he felt an urge to try dragging her inside and surely she would be ready to have sex with him? But he couldn't stand the thought of rejection, so when his urges grew too strong, he went out looking for a substitute.

The first time he snatched a naked woman who was alone in a location. She played along somewhat, but the rp was very brief and I ended it short when she stopped replying. He got frustrated by her silence and started attacking her, but she died one day before he was ready to finish her off.

Another time he tried to ask if someone would like to be his girlfriend. Went out with a newspawn and it started out as concentual, but then he went too far and she hit the brakes. He considered her deceitful because she had been coming onto him earlier. So then he raped her. The victim was well-played. Later she started saying that he should just kill her and he offered to take her ashore because he wanted to prove he was trustworthy, unlike her. When he did that, she changed her mind and said she would rather stay with him after all. Later they started having concentual sex, but then she stopped replying and I ended the situation. Later I noticed the character was about to starve to death, so I gave her one day of food, but she dropped it and died. From that I know it was intentional. She never told me what made her chance her mind.

[Voltenion]

That's well played Seko, I never thought about beating a character up when he starts sleeping too much.


Maliseh, keep on playing but do it more your way. You don't have to Rp in too much detailed situations like a rape, if you don't like it. But you do have to rp it. You should explain to the other player, with an OOC, that you're not okay with it and that you'd like it to be detailess. Or not to much obscene. I prefer the last one, for example, I rp the first parts, the most important in my opinion, and just hurry up when the real sex comes. The sexy talk, the taking off the clothes, the apreciation and description of the body and such, the way they end, the looks and words after the end and such, I squeeze those moments. But the actual sex, I make it quick. Rp that it starts and probably in the next emote I'll be ending it. I don't think that's the most important in the act of sex. Although that IS the sex.


PS: my first time I did it with a english character and, because of my lack of confidence(thought I didn't had the vocabulary for it), I didn't rp it. Just said *...they have sex...*

[*Wiro]

One thing that does disgust me is people that look for any excuse to RP raping people and to RP sex a lot in general.

[frenchfisher]

Maliseh, overly sensitive people like you who try to control what law abiding people can and can not do are the pitfalls of society.

Okay, that was just way too far. Whatever you think about her opinion, you can't say she didn't express it civilly or politely; she's not trying to "control", she's bringing up a policy that she has a suggestion on. So calling her essentially a bane on society is a bit harsh.

[Diego]

Maliseh, overly sensitive people like you who try to control what law abiding people can and can not do are the pitfalls of society.

Okay, that was just way too far. Whatever you think about her opinion, you can't say she didn't express it civilly or politely; she's not trying to "control", she's bringing up a policy that she has a suggestion on. So calling her essentially a bane on society is a bit harsh.

I'm glad Idriveayugo said it, because I wanted to do so as well. It's not that I can't sympathize with the profoundly personal significance that the roleplay of some situations can have on victims of most traumatic experiences. But it's important to note that thinking that *that* is a valid criteria for intervention or regulation of the conduct of others is, most decidedly, one of the pitfalls of society at large. When compassion is the standard, "needs" substitute rights, and the world at large has a blank check on everyone's moral status and behavior. Bad path, no matter the reason you take it.

[Dudel]

While I'm not for being told what I can and can not do, I fully get what maliseh says and have to agree.. to a point.

Nothing should be exactly "restricted" but there seems to be an awkward line there between sane and not when certain things happen in Cantr. It does make you question the metal stability of its players when "certain things" happen in game.

My suggestion would be to detach yourself from your character AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. I get yelled at this once and awhile for this but I find it helps from me (the player) being fully bothered by something that happens. Especially from taking anything that is at my character as at me.

I'd also suggest trying to stop whats going on IC before resorting to OOC. Try to find means of "escape" of the situation. Don't care if its off character in my opinion or "poor RP". Ifn I don't like the situation my character is in, I do try to fix it.

On another note Diego, Yugo... I wish the two of you had kept that "opinion" to yourselves. Some people need their rights removed, like the one to speak.

[Rigel Kent]

i already told the mods about the one guy.

[Diego]

Dudel, rights are rights, nothing and no one has the power or authority to remove them, period. Ergo, rights, not priviledges.

[Rigel Kent]

suicidal newspawn so it it mute it is against the rules so the mods should be able to do something about wel one cause thing guy is not going anyware he is getting locked up and is in a roo locked in by his own self to kep us out it is a no win and he knew it when he started it.