How common is sex in Cantr?

[Genie]

I know marriages exist in cantr and people making honeymoon:)My characters can like someone but i think it would be kind of betraying to my bf...

[chase02]

Interesting quiz, thanks for posting it Seko. It's interesting to see the split..

"Games" (I use that term loosely) like Cantr really champion social interaction (as opposed to hack 'n slash) and relationships.. obviously this often leads to closer relationships between characters. Which in turn leads to some hairy issues for those that run a "game" like this, with minors having free access to what could be deemed objectionable or inappropriate content.

It fascinates me how laws are starting to be applied to virtual worlds these days - I only recently heard that "virtual rape" (which I have heard stories about in Cantr) carries the same weight and penalties as physical rape in a court of law in Australia. However, IANAL, and have no dox on the matter nor any idea how they would define such a crime (?!).

[Sunni Daez]

DANBURY, Conn.—Authorities say a former Connecticut youth soccer club volunteer has received a 15-year prison sentence for an Internet sex case in Lake County, Fla.

In certain situations, even mistake of age could still get you in trouble with the law if you discuss sexual related matters on line to a minor. Even if the person you are talking with electronically is a cop and represents him or herself as a minor, it is illegal to communicate anything of a sexual nature.
http://www.southerncaliforniadefenseblo ... lifor.html

To everyone who thinks cantr sex is a good thing, think twice... You could end up in jail, with a record, just for a few paragraphs of internet fun.

RP'd sex can be considered rape... if it wasn't illegal, why are there so many attornys out there willing to defend offenders?

Parents prosecute! Look at the responses to the quiz... several players under the age of 16 admitt to the RP of sex..

I am not telling anyone what to do. It is your choice. Do a bit of research yourself... before you get a permanent record and have to file as a registered sex offender. Think it won't happen to you? Hmmm famous last words huh?

[Illidan]

I'm under 16,and do not like to do it...

but by the laws of my country i'm allowed to do sex... you need to get it at regard (or consider...this is the right word? my english sucks)

[SekoETC]

In my country the age of consent is 16. I wouldn't rp with characters who are played by a person under 18, even though 16 would be legal. I've been with one under-aged person on-line (possibly more but the age never came up), and afterwards it didn't feel healthy. I read their web page, or maybe it was Myspace, and the person described being "stalked" by several people and expressed the general idea of being wanted by all the guys. A girl like that has most likely been approached sexually by several people and she has started acting out because she feels popular and loved, the same way girls that are molested in real life might start dressing provocatively.

If someone cybers with an FBI agent who pretends to be an under-aged child, that means that the person was particularly interested in teens or children. Thus they can see the intent to statutory rape. However if someone in Cantr checks with a PD member that a player has reported their age being over 18, that shows intent to be with adults only. But kids tend to lie about their age, so the game might be held responsible for not forbidding rp'ed sex, yet not requiring age verification. So Cantr should write a rule that says what people write is not moderated and everybody is responsible for their characters' actions. Might as well write a rule that says people may encounter sexual content if their age is reported as over 18, so lying about being older than you really are would void your right to sue.

As for how come there are lawsuits about Internet statutory rape: parents are constantly at work, they don't keep an eye on what their kid is doing. Their kid is lonely and curious so they pose as an adult to get sexual interaction on-line. Then someone goes too far and the kid gets nervous. The parent notices something is wrong and talk to the kid until she breaks and tells what happened. The mother freaks out and exclaims that the child has been molested. The child isn't sure if that is the case, but since mother is so upset about it, the child thinks she knows better. The mother contacts a lawyer, who of course wants to get as much money as possible since he gets his share. So he exaggerates the case further, making the mother even more upset and the child too. The "offender" gets a stain in their record and the child goes to years of therapy. While the lawyer makes big bucks. Also some cases abuse the fact that the jury and the judge do not know how Internet works.

In a healthy world the mother should have talked about Internet usage with the child and set clear limits, told her not to talk to creepy people and leave straight away if someone gets creepy. Also come talk to mother if something scary happens. In most cases you shouldn't reveal your age at all if it's not necessary to register. When you go to a chat-room, including an age in your nick means that you're particularly looking for people who are interested in people of that age. In normal conversations age shouldn't matter. If a child poses as an adult, a person who has sex with her on-line is most likely not a pedophile. A chance is the "offender" is another curious teen also posing as an adult. Most adults think cybering is retarded so I'm guessing most people who do it are actually teens. If the mother thinks her daughter has been contacted by a pedophile, she could take her place and see how creepy the person actually is, then report to the cops if it actually appears serious. But the child shouldn't be allowed to stay in touch with the person anymore in any case. In most cases it's just a random encounter where both parties are anonymous, but if it's a fixed setting like a game or a messenger, the mother could write to the person that this character is played by an under-aged person who was very upset by what you wrote. A normal person at the other end of the line would say "I'm awfully sorry, I didn't know."

The thing is if someone gets registered as a sex offender over writing shit, they might as well stop holding themselves back and start hurting people in real life since people would already think the worst about them anyway.

--

As far as I can remember, my characters have raped three people in Cantr. Often it disturbs me but most likely I'll end up doing it again in the future. I can only hope that the players of the victims are less upset about it than I am.

Day 1131, on a road outside Xiria forest.

Day 1989, at sea outside West Kroi, an anonymous woman in her twenties, wounded, carrying a bone club.

Day 2397, at sea several days off the coast of Omeo.

[Sunni Daez]

Seko, alot of what you say makes sense, but it is clear you are not a mother, or one (a mother) that HAS to work. Sometimes there is not a choice to be a stay home mom and watch over all they do. I can tell you through experience, you can talk to your child about those things, but it doesn't mean they will listen. Did you know when you tell a child they can't.. they want to even more? What if they didn't find it scarey? What if they played Cantr, got rapped but found it to be funny, because they were actually to immature to realize what had happened? What if mom or dad found out anyway? It only takes one conviction... and it destroys more than one life. Prisons here are very hard on those convicted of child crimes. (by other prisoners, moreso than law enforcement)

As I said before, is it really worth the chance? What is the benifit? Does this so called benefit out weigh the risk?

There are so many grey areas. No clear path. Ideals, are just that... an assumption of what is right or correct, but this is hardly ever the case. Nothing is ideal.. nothing is perfect. Nothing goes exactly as it should.

You say you know those your charris have been with are over 16, how do you know this for fact? They told you so? That holds as much water as a fishing net! (and just because it is your countrys age law, doesn't mean it is everyones.. and a conviction or accusation can still occur.)

I just hope for those of you that think rape is funny, or fun to RP, that it never happens to you, nor someone you love. There is no fun or entertainment in watching someone suffer through one of the most horrible crimes there is.

As I said previously. I am not judging what anyone else has chosen to do.. it is in fact thier choice. In my opinion, it does not belong in the game...

[SekoETC]

I'd say if a child found online sex (or rape) funny and not scary, it would still be the parents' responsibility to try to keep her from doing it again, yet it's unlikely that they could, because for example if you move the computer to the living room and tell the child she can only stay online two or three hours a day (they did that to me after I was caught downloading porn and going to sex chat), the child will just end up going to a library or on school computers. The parents will try their best but if the child doesn't obey the rules, the parents should know that if something happens, it wasn't their fault and they could have done nothing to prevent it, short of locking the kid in a closet and that would be too far. If a child cannot experiment safely as a teenager, she will be just as childish when she's 18 and will get all the disappointments then, perhaps getting hurt deeper since there is an element of "I have to try this since I bet everyone else has already done it".

But if I was a mother of that child, I'd feel tempted to say "don't come crying to me when it gets too far, you put yourself into it". Maybe that's wrong, but if a child is being deceitful and playing with fire then it's her own fault if she gets burned. You can just hope that it happens online and not in real life.

If I'm planning to be with someone in Cantr and the player is not already someone I know, I tend to check with PD if the player is of legal age. It's true that the person may have lied about one's age but that would signify intent to deceive, and if I went to court, I would plead to that.

Someone I know, a relative, told me once that she had been raped. It troubles me sometimes. It troubles me that she told me about it. I think it would be better if I didn't know. Sometimes I think what if she made it up or exaggerated things to keep me from getting too friendly to guys. And she made it sound like if you are too trusting or if you dress too revealingly then it's your own fault when it happens.

I've been too trusting three times. I didn't get raped, I just ended up giving without really getting anything in return. Makes you feel used and foolish.

[*Wiro]

Make all she he/shes D: Boys don't have it any easier, really. At least I didn't and don't. My mom iS thinking I'm watching porn all the time or something, even though she walks in every 10 minutes already to see what I'm doing...

I would refuse to roleplay rapes in Cantr, but stuff like sex - who cares? It's TEXT. Sure, young kids shouldn't do it as some might tend to go a bit too far, but I don't see the problem with people who are younger than 18 doing it if they're mature enough. I mean, what are you gonna do? All those kids will google "HOT CHICKS" and they get thousands of results, what? The parents are gonna sue the websites for showing minors porn? Yeah right, there's the "You over 18? kk come in" stuff with yes/no buttons. That's not gonna stop those horny kids, really. So, instead of exposing them to pictures of women using their vegetables in a completely new way, why not keep it to text? And if you really want to stop kids from doing it, make a "Are you over 18?" thing. >_> If you say no, any player can see that and know that they shouldn't roleplay sex with them. Not sure how that's gonna keep kids from lying though. And it will only attract scary pedophiles, looking around specifically for underaged players.

Also the "OMG I AM 6 DO U WNT 2 MEET ME, K COME MEET ME NAO 8D" stuff is just lame, it's retarded how the US has so many disgusting laws, but still allows the police to trick people like that?

Like... would you steal an apple from the supermarket? No, you wouldn't - would you? But what if the apple is lying on a table on a market, and the owner of the table just left with all his other apples, would you take the apple and bring it back, leave it or eat it? Surely it's much more likely for you to take the apple in the second case than in the first. Same thing with the cops pretending to be little girls and boys.

Meh. Bah. Sorry if I sound pissed off, I am. (Nothing related to this topic, just ignore this... yes.. move!)

[SekoETC]

And if you really want to stop kids from doing it, make a "Are you over 18?" thing. >_> If you say no, any player can see that and know that they shouldn't roleplay sex with them.

But there are also people who are over 18 and wouldn't want to be exposed to sexually explicit writings, would they have to lie about being under 18 to set the flag differently? Even if people could view if someone has announced themselves as legal and willing, people might still get exposed to material that disturbs them since sex isn't a black and white kind of thing but a continuum. Although in well rp'd situations things advance slowly enough that if a player feels it's getting out of line, they have time to say no. I suggested somewhere that people were given a chance to flag themselves as sensitive, but sanchez found that offensive somehow.

[Doug R.]

There is a fairly large disconnect between America and Europe when it comes to sexuality, and it's not something that's easily understandable unless you actually visit the other half. California aside, the US is a conservative country, and very conservative when it comes to sexuality. In regards to public policy, we are downright prude. I think Sunni's and Seko's attitudes and opinions accurately reflect both sides as I've experienced it. Europeans just don't give the issue nearly as much weight as Americans do. On the flip side, the UK and US are also polar opposites when it comes to violence on TV, with the US being much more permissive, and the UK being very strict. I heard they actually edited episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. But then, when I was in London, I saw naked breasts on late-night non-cable television.

I would surmise it has everything to do with each country's roots. The UK has been battling violence and insurgency for over a thousand years - and just when you think it's over, it's not (see latest violence in N. Ireland). The US was settled by religious fundamentalists that wouldn't allow sex in any position other than missionary (and forbade you to enjoy it).

[Sunni Daez]

It's true that the person may have lied about one's age but that would signify intent to deceive, and if I went to court, I would plead to that.

In a US court.. they would laugh it off. (the plea that is)


Yes, countries differ greatly on the way things should be handled. I can respect Seko and her opinions.. That was never an issue.. but I also have full right to my own.

Cantr is becoming (has become) an XXX site... Not really a place I want to be. Demnding to have sex in cantr, to me, is childish in itself.

[BlueNine]

It's true that the person may have lied about one's age but that would signify intent to deceive, and if I went to court, I would plead to that.

In a US court.. they would laugh it off. (the plea that is)

Surely if the PD was contacted in regards to the other players age, there would be a record of it and the reply...meaning there is evidence of the intent to deceive?

Back on the topic of sexytime in Cantr...i'm not a great fan, I'll do it if it is conclusive to good RP. But I'd much rather (and have in the past) just OOC'd the other char and asked that we just emote *has sex with charry* and then leave it at that.

It makes me feel a bit uncomfortable otherwise

[Piscator]

Demnding to have sex in cantr, to me, is childish in itself.

Well, roleplaying by itself is as childish in my opinion. I don't really see how it matters what you're RPing.

[Sunni Daez]

Surely if the PD was contacted in regards to the other players age, there would be a record of it and the reply...meaning there is evidence of the intent to deceive?

Don't think it really will matter... if you sell alcohol to someone under 21 because they had a fake ID and the end up hurting or killing someone.. it still goes back to the one who sold the minor alcohol. Yes, it was a fake ID but no, you should have been able to tell the difference.

You are serving alcohol in a bar, you sell it to someone who appears rather sober.. in turn that person gives it to the buddy who isn't.. the buddy drives away and causes an accident... goes back to the one who sold the alcohol, because they should know who drank it and the one who did was to drunk to drink it.

Loop holes are everywhere... by the way, I have family in law enforcement. Bad things happen to good people due to a slight lack in judgement.. so no, contacting PD will mean nothing really.

Manipulation goes a long way. The minor gets caught writting and being written to.. child cries..'I didn't know" " I am now traumatized" "take me to mental health (so I won't get into trouble)" Mental health goes a step above mom and pushes a prosecution against the parents, parents in turn prosecute the offender... Dominos continue to fall.

RP in the manor if cantr is not truely childish per say. Who says adults cannot play games? Is there a law or rule that says they cannot? Whining because you want something, rather is.
RP in cantr is like writing your own part in a neverending story. Writing, is an artform. Art is not childish, though it can be done by children. Baseball is a childs game, but adults get paid big money to play!

Again, I am not telling anyone what to do.. tis your own choice. I just felt that the promotion of sex and rape in a game is not such a good thing. There are to many young minds out there that may not quite understand it all and they need to see that there could be a down side to this too.

Yes, young minds are curious.. and they need to be nurtured and fed with knowledge.. but the whole story, not just the fun part. Sure, they can google what ever they chose to. The sites they come up with are considered (for the most part) as porn. Are we now comparing Cantr to porn? I wouldn't want to.

I don't really see how it matters what you're RPing.

Because of the laws against sexual implications and solicitation... even in written word... *shrugs* Like I said... write what you want to.. as will I.

[SekoETC]

I think Sunni's and Seko's attitudes and opinions accurately reflect both sides as I've experienced it.

Actually I'm pretty conservative for a Finn, at least for a young person. It seems like most people under 30 think it's completely alright to have premarital sex, also cybersex although that is considered nerdy, people can have "fuck buddies" or they might date several people at a time, they have gay relationships and experiments, especially while drunk. They tend to live together with a person for a long time to see if they're compatible before deciding if it's time to marry. Abstinence is so rare that people can easily get an interview in a paper if they say they're abstaining.

And what comes to children and sex, not many decades ago people were still living on farms and kids often saw animals doing it. A hundred years ago or so people lived in small cabins the size of one room with maybe a dozen children, a couple of maids and hired hands, the mother and father and the grandparents. During summer people tended to go have sex on the field or in the forest, but they might also do it inside when it was cold or raining. It was pitch black so even if the kids were awake, they didn't see anything but they could most likely hear it. A couple of more hundred years back and teenagers were considered adults, they were married to each other or girls to older guys. The age of breeding has gone up when children have started getting education and a young man needed a job to support a wife and children (that would unavoidably ensue), in an industrialized society you could no longer just get hired by a farm house for a year, you needed to have education. So that's why teens are discouraged from having sex, because sex makes babies and it's impossible to support yourself financially nowadays without having years of formal education.