The grant-a-wish game

[Rebma]

granted. I'll punch you for suggesting I have food, and you'll sleep for two full days. Your body is open game for Joo. Just saying..


I wish that I had a subway sub!

[joo]

You do, but its only contents are onions, jalapenos, peppers and chilli sauce. Piled up.



I wish I had a subway sub with:

1. Italian Herbs and Cheese bread, Footlong.
2. Meatball Marinara, Double Meat.
3. Double Cheese, Grilled.
4. Lettuce, Gherkin, Sweetcorn, Jalapenos and Olives.
5. Honey Mustard Sauce.
6. Cut in half, packed into a wrapper, then tissues, then a bag, then another bag with one of those little cutlery sets.
7. And a can of Red Bull to go with it.
8. I want to pay for this with a £20 note so I get lots of change to clink around in my pocket.
9. And finally, I want to consume all of these while playing Tetris on my mobile phone on the N8 Bus going through Central London at 1 o'clock in the morning, listening to soft Jazz through my earphones, and heading towards the classy dockside flat of somebody with whom I will share multiple orgasms on a hammock which is hanging in their balcony with miniature palm trees growing all around and they keys to the balcony door thrown over into the pond in the garden below and I'm underneath so I can see the full moon shining down from the clear, cloudless night sky.

[Dudel]

That wish is so odly specific that the wish fairy/wizard/geni says: "You know what joo... you can go F yourself." Then the wish giving being disapers and you get lepersy for being too demanding of a wish.


I wish that I had something to eat that was eatable and not alive or human...joo!

[joo]

A dead cat appears before you on a plate.





I wish for my previous wish, but I'm having sex with a dead cat instead.

[Dudel]

I wish for my previous wish, but I'm having sex with a dead cat instead.

Okay Granted: The cat um... I can't I'm laughing to hard to think. WTF joo? You are way messed in the head!


I wish um... that was less funny to me. (Why was it so funny?)

[SekoETC]

Granted, you're lobotomized and are just staring with glassy eyes and drooling.

I wish Dudel would play this game by actual the rules. (Or is there just one rule?)

[BarbaricAvatar]

Granted. He plays the game via the actual rules which had been translated into Dutch, then German, then French, then Greek, then Italian, then back into English all using Babelfish.

I wish this last tiny bit of weight would just disappear!

[Nom Pop]

Granted. Your face now lacks a nose.

I wish I could put the nice people on the cantr forum into my pocket and take them with me.

[Rebma]

Granted, you've got us all. However your pocket is way too small for all of us, and most of us die from suffocation, brain trauma, or joo rape.

Sucks doesn't it?

- I wish that I wasn't so hungry from lack of food.

[Nom Pop]

Granted. You're not just hungry from lack of food, you've actually starved by now.

*I* can do morbid.

I wish there was more cuddling in the rant of the day thread.

[Dudel]

Granted: There is lots of cuddling in the rant forum post. Becuase of all this sweetness everyone gets type 2 diabeties.


I wish my cat didn't agro my new puppy.

Note: This game has rules?

[joo]

Note: This game has rules?

Look at the first post on page 1 of this topic. There are the rules.

I wish my cat didn't agro my new puppy.

Granted: your cat now meekly suffers the abuse from your psycopathic, traumatised puppy.


I wish that I had a golden Jesus.

[BarbaricAvatar]

Granted. You receive a Golden Jesus for Christmas which then declares you're not worthy of a place on this earth and smites you with holy thunder.

I wish the sun wouldn't dip so low in the afternoon.

[lordcooper]

Granted, the sun rises, and rises, and rises.

Now it's too far from the earth and we all freeze to death. Thanks.

I wish i was immortal.

[BarbaricAvatar]

Granted, you're immortal. Yet when world war 3 kicks off, the ensuing nuclear explosions that vaporise everyone else blast you out into space where you float aimlessly and alone for the rest of time.

I wish i could change gender at will.