The Magic Vending Machine

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Rebma
Posts: 2899
Joined: Tue Aug 12, 2008 6:47 am
Location: Kitchener, ON

Postby Rebma » Tue Oct 14, 2008 6:24 pm

Two words Joo... "Slicey slice!" :twisted:


I put my left shoelace into the slot.

(Aww damn Seko beat me to it. Ignore me then :))
kronos wrote:like a nice trim is totally fine. short, neat. I don't want to be fighting through the forests of fangorn and expecting treebeard to come and show me the way in
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joo
Posts: 5021
Joined: Fri Jun 17, 2005 2:26 pm
Location: London, UK

Postby joo » Tue Oct 14, 2008 6:51 pm

A sterling fifty pence piece, twenty pence piece, two pence piece and one pence piece come out of the machine, followed by a cheque for £0.001157607, marked with the date 14/10/2008, and payable to "Euro Scum" :lol:



I insert my severed penis into the machine, but hold on to the necklace and wait to see what happens...
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Andu
Posts: 685
Joined: Wed Aug 06, 2008 5:29 pm
Location: Finland

Postby Andu » Wed Oct 15, 2008 6:47 pm

An artificiall voice says: Please insert something.


I insert some antimateria.
"An those with little fuel, could tie a pack of bears in front of their limousine, with whip and crossbow in hands to keep them in line."
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joo
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Location: London, UK

Postby joo » Thu Oct 16, 2008 4:19 am

I have no idea what "antimateria" means, and both Wikipedia and Google yielded no meaning, so... *shrug* The machine squirts red ink all over your crotch, which reflects a rape alarm-activating frequency of light wherever you go.




I insert a USB drive containing 32 GB of text files containing the word "rape" into the machine.
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Andu
Posts: 685
Joined: Wed Aug 06, 2008 5:29 pm
Location: Finland

Postby Andu » Thu Oct 16, 2008 11:39 am

The machine laughs and says:"Thank you for using me, have a nice day in Rapture." Out comes a Eve hypo and a first aid kit.

I insert the The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
"An those with little fuel, could tie a pack of bears in front of their limousine, with whip and crossbow in hands to keep them in line."
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Tiamo
Posts: 1262
Joined: Fri Feb 01, 2008 2:22 pm

Postby Tiamo » Thu Oct 16, 2008 12:13 pm

Out comes a note that says: "42".

I insert this note.
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SekoETC
Posts: 15525
Joined: Wed May 05, 2004 11:07 am
Location: Finland
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Postby SekoETC » Thu Oct 16, 2008 12:29 pm

The machine spits out letters made out of some flat material and surprisingly they maintain their shape so that for example the dot on an i hovers above the body of the letter even though there seems to be nothing connecting them.

I insert a headache.
Not-so-sad panda
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playerslayer666
Posts: 717
Joined: Thu May 01, 2008 4:27 pm

Postby playerslayer666 » Fri Oct 17, 2008 11:21 pm

out comes Joo.....not sure how that happened.

i put Joo back in the machine and run away. avoiding the possibility of being raped......i hope.
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Rebma
Posts: 2899
Joined: Tue Aug 12, 2008 6:47 am
Location: Kitchener, ON

Postby Rebma » Sat Oct 18, 2008 7:26 am

..and out comes a puppy, dressed in a pink tutu, with a spike collar and name tag "Joo-er". Dude..so awesome.

I put my socks in the vending machine.
kronos wrote:like a nice trim is totally fine. short, neat. I don't want to be fighting through the forests of fangorn and expecting treebeard to come and show me the way in
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Antichrist_Online
Posts: 950
Joined: Thu Aug 12, 2004 4:49 pm
Location: My Mistress's Playroom

Postby Antichrist_Online » Sun Oct 19, 2008 2:42 pm

A small goblin comes out chewing one of the socks.

I insert the goblin back into the machine.
Mistress's Puppy
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joo
Posts: 5021
Joined: Fri Jun 17, 2005 2:26 pm
Location: London, UK

Postby joo » Sun Oct 19, 2008 3:02 pm

Out comes a chewed sock and a golden ring.



I put Barack Obama into the machine.
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SekoETC
Posts: 15525
Joined: Wed May 05, 2004 11:07 am
Location: Finland
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Postby SekoETC » Sun Oct 19, 2008 3:29 pm

Some change falls out of the slot.

Following the theme, I insert John McCain.
Not-so-sad panda
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Tiamo
Posts: 1262
Joined: Fri Feb 01, 2008 2:22 pm

Postby Tiamo » Sun Oct 19, 2008 4:38 pm

Nothing happens.

I put the USA into the machine.
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joo
Posts: 5021
Joined: Fri Jun 17, 2005 2:26 pm
Location: London, UK

Postby joo » Sun Oct 19, 2008 5:13 pm

The machine ejects the USA and says "Sorry, we do not accept denominations of currency this small. Please insert a coin with more value."



I pour the water from all the oceans on the planet into the machine.
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SekoETC
Posts: 15525
Joined: Wed May 05, 2004 11:07 am
Location: Finland
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Postby SekoETC » Sun Oct 19, 2008 6:20 pm

The machine vomits all the garbage dumped into the oceans on top of you and then spits the water back into the drained oceans.

I insert cruelty.
Not-so-sad panda
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