Anti-Jokes

grayjaket · Postby **grayjaket** » Mon Mar 01, 2004 2:45 am

My bro found these on a message board...don't kill me Darth Tiberious!

Knock knock.
Who's there?
The police. Your husband died in a car wreck.

A man goes to the doctor and pokes himself in the leg with his index finger. The man says "Ow! Doctor, it hurts whenever I poke myself here!" The doctor says "Yes, you've shattered both your kneecaps. You'll never walk again."

Q. What's the difference between michael jackson and a toaster?
A. A toaster makes toast. Michael Jackson molests little boys.

Q. What did the rock say to the river?
A. Nothing, rocks can't talk.

Three men walk into a bar. They're all alcoholics, and they beat their wives.

What did the deaf, blind, and mute kid get for Christmas?
Cancer.

Why did the little boy cry himself to sleep?
Because he had AIDS.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
The pizza man.
The pizza man who?
Pizza Man Steve.

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm?
The Holocaust.
_________________

kroner · Postby **kroner** » Mon Mar 01, 2004 3:30 am

i laughed... a lot... then i felt bad.
the second one and the last are the best.

Meh · Postby **Meh** » Mon Mar 01, 2004 3:35 am

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because I shot him.

rklenseth · Postby **rklenseth** » Mon Mar 01, 2004 4:58 am

Cast iron sinks.

Everyone thinks that funny but I don't get it.

Spider · Postby **Spider** » Mon Mar 01, 2004 5:38 am

RO(T)FLMFAO

EDIT: j/k, i don't know wtf that means

Meh · Postby **Meh** » Mon Mar 01, 2004 7:20 am

A guy walks out of a bar who has been drinking greatly...

Another guy who had the same amount to drink backs over him with his car and kills him.

grayjaket · Postby **grayjaket** » Mon Mar 01, 2004 11:43 am

Meh · Postby **Meh** » Mon Mar 01, 2004 4:05 pm

A preist and a rabbi are in a resteraut eating lunch....

The terrorist's bomb explodes.

Bran-Muffin · Postby **Bran-Muffin** » Mon Mar 01, 2004 4:11 pm

LOL

the bomb explodes Lol

west · Postby **west** » Mon Mar 01, 2004 4:42 pm

A priest, a nun, and a rabbi walk into a bar.

Bartender says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive?
She was a woman.

Meh · Postby **Meh** » Mon Mar 01, 2004 6:50 pm

How many Sunnis does it take to screw in a lightblub?

One you bigot.

kroner · Postby **kroner** » Mon Mar 01, 2004 8:42 pm

So a panda walks into a bar,
the bartender frantically calls Animal Control and they come and remove the panda.

Two guys are stranded on a dessert island without any food. The first guy says, "If you could be back home for one day, what would you do?"
The second guy takes out a knife and butchers him for meat.

Postby **Thomas Pickert** » Tue Mar 02, 2004 2:07 am

Couldn't he just have eaten a pudding?

kroner · Postby **kroner** » Tue Mar 02, 2004 3:25 am

He's allergic.

rklenseth · Postby **rklenseth** » Tue Mar 02, 2004 3:48 am

I think Thomas is referring to the point that you said dessert when you probably meant deserted. It isn't the first time that he has pointed that out to someone. :wink:

Just in case you didn't catch Thomas' meaning....

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