Existentialism and Romance

[kinvoya]

Schme, they aren't necessarily having sex. In fact, for some reason, I don't think they are. Maybe because they both sound so thoughtful and sincere. And he's probably going to go away to live at whatever university he goes to so they won't be moving in together any time soon.

[west]

:D Schme, they aren't necessarily having sex. In fact, for some reason, I don't think they are. Maybe because they both sound so thoughtful and sincere.

Thoughtful and sincere people never have sex!

Schme is clearly a gentleman of the old school.

I do quite understand his reaction. My baby sister is 17 now, and (mostly because I grew up in the same town and know there's no good men there) if some boy was makin' time with her I would do horrible things to him. Even if he was a good guy. Just out of principle.

Mostly just stand next to him and loom. I'm really good at looming, and unless you're 6'4" or taller I have a good chance of intimidating you. And then, if that doesn't work, I start whistling Peer Gynt, which is intimidating if you've ever seen Fritz Lang's M.

Fear through obscure movie references and height differentials, that's how I roll.

[Nakranoth]

Let me pipe in here... long distance is hard... really really hard... it's strained the hell out of my relationship with my GF... make or break for you on that front... Just this one school year away feels like an eternity, and the personal strains make it hard to care about school... and remember, school needs to come first if you're ever going to support anyone in this day and age.

[west]

Let me pipe in here... long distance is hard... really really hard... it's strained the hell out of my relationship with my GF... make or break for you on that front... Just this one school year away feels like an eternity, and the personal strains make it hard to care about school... and remember, school needs to come first if you're ever going to support anyone in this day and age.

Support? Nay, son, I kick it New School. "Make around the same amount of money as" is my goal. And since I'm a journalist, I will never make money. I needs a sugar mama.

[Zanthos]

I agree with Nak about distance... its the reason my ex and I broke up (completly her fault though)

Although shes a year younger than me, we both went to college as freshman this year (she skipped her seinor year) and going into college we wer both completly straight edge. Well she likes to pretend shes a rebel and decided to go all out on the party scene, got wicked drunk, and a 21 year old took advantage of her and she cheated on me. (for the record, i had warned her that something like this might happen, and she was angry at me for trying to control her life). Well I was ready to forgive her, because i cared about her that much and could tell she was truly sorry, but she broke up with me because she 'didn't want to hurt me' cuz although she didn't want to stop getting wasted every tuesday, friday, and saturday night.

However, our relationship did have the potential to work out, she just didnt have the feelings i thought she did. If what you two have is what you say, then you should have no problem, but don't take things for granted.

[kinvoya]

Hush, west.

Stop looming and whistling at me! I know what part you're whistling, too. It's the part when he's in The Hall of the Troll King or whatever. That is the scariest music ever written!

[dingo13and7]

My suggestion, Skandrannon, is to just give it your all. Age doesn't matter, maturity does, and from the sound of it, you've got that going for you. Yes, you'll both grow up quite a bit over the next few years, but that's a good thing. Trust me, all of this comes from personal experience. My girlfriend and I have been dating for over two years without so much as a hitch. On top of that, when we started dating I was 18 and she was 15...not considered to be the best of age differences. Also, it was a long-distance relationship that started one day after we first met. However, despite all of this, we're always happy, and immensely in love. It doesn't matter if love is a chemical, biological, or purely emotional reaction; what does matter is that it exists, and that you love your girlfriend, however you view love. However, to truly love, you have to be able to trust the person you love 100%. I know this is difficult (I mean, look at me: I never trusted anyone), but sometimes you just have to say, "to hell with it" and throw your heart out there. As long as you both truly love one another, everything will work itself out, just as it has with my girlfriend and I; we're planningon getting married in about four years.

[west]

Well she likes to pretend shes a rebel and decided to go all out on the party scene, got wicked drunk, and a 21 year old took advantage of her and she cheated on me. (for the record, i had warned her that something like this might happen, and she was angry at me for trying to control her life). Well I was ready to forgive her, because i cared about her that much and could tell she was truly sorry, but she broke up with me because she 'didn't want to hurt me' cuz although she didn't want to stop getting wasted every tuesday, friday, and saturday night.

Whoa there, space cadet. She either got taken advantage of you or she cheated on you. Or she did both on separate occasions. But getting drunk and being taken advantage of is not cheating. That's called blaming the victim, and you're an abject bastard if you do that. "I was ready to forgive her for being taken advantage of," well, aren't you just the nicest guy ever.

Your relationship probably failed because you don't respect her as a human being. Your martyr act, condescension and self-righteousness might help salve your wounded pride but they ain't fooling me, bucko.

[Zanthos]

Actually, i had forgiven her, i knew she fucked up and i knew she felt bad about it. I was fully ready to forgive and forget, but the fact still remains that she had the choice to not get that drunk, and her friends tried to take her back to her dorm and she refused.

edit- i was only talking about one time, but she had on many occasions been with her friends (all guys) basically naked in their room. Her rationale behind it was that they would be too drunk to remember it anyway. There is much more to the story than what i said, but i don't really want to go into it.

[Dee]

That's why I hate drinking.

[west]

I love drinking. But it has to be done responsibly. If you can't control yourself when you're inebriated, you shouldn't drink. Or if you do, you shouldn't use it as an excuse. I take full responsibility for the many entertaining mistakes I've made while drunk.

[kinvoya]

Wow, Zanthos, it sounds to me like you dodge a giant, crazy, self-destructive bullet. You should consider yourself lucky.

[Zanthos]

I'm good at dodging bullets... actually, i should probably be dead because of how many almost accidents ive had in my my car... never actually hit anything though - i credit my mad awsome driving skills.

But yeah, i stopped talking to her when it got to the point that she only talked about the parties she went to over the weekend. I'm very selective when it comes to my friends, and i think she's slipped off of the spectrum. (yes, we were still very good friends when we broke up)

[Skandrannon]

I've been busy the past while and haven't had much time to chat, but let me address some questions:

1. Sex: Yes, we are having sex on a fairly regular basis. At first we though it would change thing, you know? Thats what we were both afraid of, but nothing changed...at first. Soon things began to get much more tense, but we've worked something out.

When we used to have sex 1-2 times a week, we would get really snappy at eachother and...well...bad stuff... Eventually we figured out that if we make it a special occasion...once or twice a month, it becomes something that only brings us closer.

2. Maturity: We've both been through a lot in terms of love and heartbreaks. Having sex was a mutual decision (in fact, it was her that was waiting for me) and neither of us have any regrets. One of the biggest reasons I fell in love with her was because of her honesty...she is possibly the most honest person I have ever met, which is all I really need. That and the fact that she was capable of loving me for who I truly am. I even pull out my Nintendo DS and play Pokemon Blue Mystery Dungeon, and she still thinks of me as her knight in shining armour. Something about that seems to...complete me.

3. Family: Oh dear god. *commits ritual suicide* Her mom is a psychopath. Not in the over-protective caring kind of crazy mother. She's the hypocritical, over controlling, slutty, anger issue mother. Her father just doesn't approve of dating altogether. The rest of her entire family (I've been to at least a half-dozen of her dinners.) loves me. In fact, I really like her aunts, uncles and grandparents.

4. The future: A soon as this semester is over, I'm going to be staying at home (a block away from her house) and attending the local university. Distance won't be a problem at all.

So...hope that answers a lot of questions.