Sock Gremlins!

[Psycho Pixie]

SLAM!!! something in the closet falls over and hits the door rather loudly.....



damn sock gremlins. they are having wrestling matches in the closet again. word of advice... dont have walk in closets, they make perfect boxing rings.and ever since they saw a World Wrestling Federation show on T.V. it never ends.

The next post will be on the different types of gremlins that have been discovered.

Courtisy of :
Tha Psycho Pixie

[Psycho Pixie]

House Gremlin Family:

1~sock gremlins~they steal socks, and sell them to dust bunnies in exchange for old socks which they re-cycle to your laundry pile.



2~closet gremlins~they moves your clothes around, nock them off hangers and even have wrestling matches if its a walk in closet.



3~under gremlins~they like undies. especially dirty ones, and if you see your roommates undies moving...(luois' did) theres the proof. emmitting a massive stench when provoked or cornered, these are some of the stinky-est of the species.



4~bathroom gremlins~piles of dirty clothes come to life when left in the bathroom, shampoo runs out a week after you buy it, and soap somehow gets underfoot as you step into the shower. these also make a massive stench when cornered or provoked



5~kitchen gremlins~sub-breeds, stove, microwave and undersink gremlins~ fire department shows up every time you cook? the microwave causes a fuse to blow at least 2 times a week? what about your garbage disposal? when was the last time it worked right? you didnt really cause that much trash, a gremlin brought back some old stuff.



6~t.v. gremlins~ if you dont have cable or digital be-ware!!!! they cause fuzz, static and random channel changes, color changes and mess up the alignment of the screen.



7~v.c.r. gremins~ why does it eats tapes? or doesnt record when its pre-set and programmed???? its this gremlin on the prowl.



8~carpet gremlins~ever wonder how the sewing needle got in your foot when NO-ONE in the house has sewn in months?????

~~~~~~~~~and outside we go.....~~~~~~~~~~~~



9~car gremlins~ cant find your registration and insurance papers when the cops pull you over??? this is why. related breed are:: battery gremlins, trunk gremlins brake gremlins and paint gremlins. these are pretty self explainatory.



10~garden gremlins~often mistaken for garden knomes, these gremlins cause bug attacks, leaky hoses and broken pipes under the fence. excessive weed growth and random die-offs of your favorite flowers are signs of garden gremlin infestation. pesticide doesnt work. you must sprinkle cinnamon all over the yard and chant "go away" ten time each day for three weeks. Garden Gremlin is a Family, there are several breeds as yet un-classified.



11~fence gremlins~ the gate wont stay shut, the fencing gets warped and the stone wall gets undermined by sink holes.... the tree roots suddenly spring up and put cracks in your brand new brick wall.



12: nose gremlins, they hide the tissue, cause sneezes for no real reason and conspire to cause a pimple right on the tip of your nose the night you have a date. These guys are rare, and in the family called "Body" Gremlins, not studied yet.

~~~~~~~~~more gremlins....~~~~~~~~

13: office gremlins, steal staplers, eat sharpies and cause general havoc in the office or computer room of your home.

14: fish tank gremlins, when nothing is wrong with your water, the fish are not sick, but they still die or jump out..... and of course when the de-clorinator drys up, the food spills into the tank or the brand new filter breaks, these guys are the ones.

15: camp gremlins~ cause major smoking, coals that wont light, hard un-choppable wood, and cronicly burned marshmellows, tent stakes to pull, tents to fall, tent poles to be lost or broken, nearby bushes to be dangerous, bugs and snakes to think your sleeping bag is good, food to go bad, and bears to visit.

** Camp Gremlin is a Family, there are breeds:
Tent, Wood, Alcohol, Sleeping bag, Pioson ivy, Poison oak... the list will continue
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~snip snip add~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
16: Computer gremlins, as discovered by our very own Orion. "Microsoft" is the first of what we believe to be several breeds of this gremlin. More info will be comeing shortly.

17: Diaper Gremlins are especially attracted to pre-schools, homes with multiple children and nursery wings of hospitals. Unlike other gremlins, these guys evolve with the child they attatch to. as the child grows up, these gremlins change their tactics and habits to match. Often, a child who is 10, and cannot keep the room clean or looses clothes is not a victim of "sock gremlins" but has their very own bonded Diaper Gremlin. Thank you C. cat for reminding me of these evil little things.


18: Fire Gremlin~ classified a mutt breed, they change color and are immune to fire. going in and outdoors, their range is wide, but the numbers are few.We think they may actually have trouble reproducing.

19: Tree Gremlin~ One breed, changes color with the season, White, Yellow, Green. Very common, probly a form of garden gremlin. We think this little guy helped create the fire gremlin. they are relitively harmless, no biting or spraying has been observed. they remind me of little ugly Koalas.



tha psycho pixie

[sammigurl61190]

Oookkkaaayyy....

[grayjaket]

I think some people *coughpshychopxiecoughcoughcough* have WAY to much time on their hands.

[Pirate Lass]

Really, I don't know where she finds it.... but then this has been an obsession of hers for like a year now.....

[The Hunter]

I just found evidence of a Microsoft gremlin. XP refuses to work correctly and files go missing all the time. (Even worse then normal that is).
What I did is: I pretended not to look at my computer when i heard some noises inside my computer and the harddisk light started flashing. But while this was going on, i surrepticiously took a big shopping bag, and while keeping an eye on the computer, i put the bag around the case, trapping the gremlin.
My question is: How can I kill it or safely remove it from my computer? Prefebly keeping it alive, to send it to Seattle, to a certain mister "gates".

[Cheshierekat]

I believe you pixie. I know all about the gremlins...especally the diaper gremlins who hide them when you need them most....they have a thing for diaper wipes too.

[sammigurl61190]

Once again, and I quote:

Oookkkaaayyy....

[Psycho Pixie]

I just found evidence of a Microsoft gremlin. XP refuses to work correctly and files go missing all the time. (Even worse then normal that is).
What I did is: I pretended not to look at my computer when i heard some noises inside my computer and the harddisk light started flashing. But while this was going on, i surrepticiously took a big shopping bag, and while keeping an eye on the computer, i put the bag around the case, trapping the gremlin.
My question is: How can I kill it or safely remove it from my computer? Prefebly keeping it alive, to send it to Seattle, to a certain mister "gates".

To answer your question Orion,

to kill it you must first realize that much like cats, gremlins have multiple lives. fortunatly, they only have 3, not 9. (although older car gremlins tend to be harder to kill, and are thought to have 5 lives)

YOU MUST DO THIS IN THE RIGHT ORDER OR IT WONT WORK!!


so, the first stage of successfully destroying a gremlin is to drown it. Conviniently, you already have it in a bag. run a hot tub of water, poke tiny little pin holes in the bag and hold it in the bottom of the tub, submerged totally for about an hour. life one, done.

round 2, beat the wet, downed and ressurected(yes, it will wake up!) gremlin against a Fir tree multiple times. this MUST be a Fir tree, pine doesnt work for some reason. I am told oak works, but havent tryed that yet. Life 2 is now forfiet.

Finally, the last leg of your killing the evil computer gremlin, is to burn the beaten wet, mushy ressurected (again) gremlin to dust. It is best to keep it in the bag since gremlins really hate fire. the smoke irritates their eyes you know.... only problum here is that plastic bags smell funny when burned. Gremlins... they stink baaad when burned. DO NOT INHALE FUMES! you risk being infected with the gremlin germ!! this is dangerous!


or you could just ship it to your friend, let him deal with it.

happy hunting!

Tha Psycho Pixie

[The Hunter]

Ehm. WEll, my computer is aalso in the bag. ( i put the bag around the case). 2nd: I don't want the gremling out of the computer/bag... It might bite... 3rd: no fir tree anywhere near here, nor oak, or any tree really.

So, How do i get the gremlin from the computer in a bag safely, and what material should I use to wrap it in? (it's started gnawing the bag already and i had to wrap steel mesh around it... though that's gonna B expensive to mail it to my buddy).

And what cars are favourite among car gremlins?

[The Hunter]

I believe you pixie. I know all about the gremlins...especally the diaper gremlins who hide them when you need them most....they have a thing for diaper wipes too.

BTW: I didnt know u still needed diapers... Kinda embarrasing when the gremlins took those diapers when you needed them real hard...

And I believe some car gremlins found a new niche. My tires are flat every week, the batteries of my lights need replacing every 2 weeks, they make the pump go missing, and i even believe they hide under the saddle sometimes, then jump out while im on my bike to distract me, so I won't notice that car coming from my right. Ow, and i had to buy a new lock for the 3rd time now because my keys go missing everytime, including the spare one. Or are the "general house" gremlins the cause of that?

[sammigurl61190]

Gremlins--and you people say I'm nuts.

[Cheshierekat]

We're not nuts, we're just well-informed

[sammigurl61190]

But, I could understand about being well-informed on a subject that actually had a meaning, but gremlins don't exist. LOL

[Cheshierekat]

Gremlins just don't exist to your knowledge. How do you know if something doesn't exist? Is it just because you say 'that doesn't exist'? You obviously have never encountered a gremlin, and so therefore you would think they don't exist. But once you do encounter one...you will be on our side....you will see the truth..