Thanksgiving Suicide :(

[Floyd]

I read about a movie where in the beginning, a guy is celebrating his graduation... he gets a piece of cake, walks into his room and shoots himself. But it didn't really happen. Because it was a shock start, a dream or imagination.

A pat on the back for anyone who can remember the film... It's really annoying me...

[Dee]

Wow, Katrina... I can imagine the pain you've gone through when he died, especially more when you found the poem...

[Thetaris]

This is really quite sad... My heart goes out to those who know people who have committed suicide...
I'm very fortunate, no one I know has died besides for my step-dad's dad's brother, and I wasn't even close to him... Can you believe, he died on Christmas Eve??!? That was absoloutely horrid for the people close to him, my parents didn't even get to give him his present! What was a happy ending to his life, was, the doctors allowed us to tube beer in his mouth, and he died saying something like 'Ahh, the good stuff', or something like that. He was apparently a lovely man. That happend 2 years ago.

To tell the truth, I went into a complete state of depression,edit: not because of his death although it was short-lasting and I personally didn't believe it to be depression. I became oh-so-very cynical, about life, about everything, I saw life had no point to it (which I recently wrote an essay slightly-based on that, and how simple life and the feelings in it are). I go to a private school, and I wanted to be rich (really rich), and get the best possible job- even owning a business, and get the best possible marks ever, and get 99.9 on my VCE (which is an Australian end-of-high school marking scheme, its the highest mark possible), and even have my OWN business.
Now, I honestly don't care about anything, in the time frame of two days, I don't care about owning my business, having a good job, being rich and getting good marks. Who cares? I saw (maybe I still do see) no point to life. I was being a bit stupid in the bath about 2 weeks ago, right before my brother's birthday (he's 10 now). I thought about drowning myself, and tried it..
It felt so wierd, it felt like life was draining out of me. I went to about 30 seconds, the point at which your air supply is completely finished and you begin dieing.
I knew I had to draw breath soon. I did, obviously. I got out, got dry, got dressed, and went out to see my brother, and my relatives, my mum's parents (lovely people, I'm really -and always have been- close to my grandma). As I clasped my grandpa's hand for shaking, feeling the warmth in his hand, the liveliness, my legs almost buckled. And by the time I went over to my grandma, and she kissed me, I almost cried. And when my brother's face lit up as he was given his presents, I punched myself for even thinking of killing myself on that particular night. I recall the smiles on everyone's faces, I can only imagine what would be replaced upon finding my dead body floating in the bath.

Right now I'm kinda on the verge of crying again, lol

Sorry to write all that, I didn't mean it, it kinda trailed off, and seeing as I know no-one who died or commited suicide, I had to kinda add a contribution.

BTW, this all has happened within 2 months.

[SekoETC]

Woah, how old are you again, Thetaris?

[Thetaris]

15

[Pie]

NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I'M STILL THE YOUNGEST PERSON OUT THERE IN THE FORUM!!!

I've actually went through a depretion..... it was when i was in loup city.... i had no I REPEAT NO frends(Yes... that IS shoking) and all i did after school was sit around, watch T.V. maby play xbox, stuff like that... i thought about death for awile... but i never thryed it.... I hav an INCREDIBLE fear of pain. I mean...... Sometimes... when i even THINK about scratching the walls i just JERK. No really, its like, i shake my head really hard, maby even put it to one side....... You know... like how you would pop your neck...

Well... that fear probably kept me alive so i could get here... in cantr... and anoy everyone in the forums..........

[SekoETC]

I had a lot of suicidal thoughts when I was 18. They feel so distant now. It's just that when all things seem to go wrong, it's like a wall rising on your path and you can't get over it without help. I don't wanna think what would've happened if they hadn't sent me in the hospital.

[Thetaris]

NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I'M STILL THE YOUNGEST PERSON OUT THERE IN THE FORUM!!!

I've actually went through a depretion..... it was when i was in loup city.... i had no I REPEAT NO frends(Yes... that IS shoking) and all i did after school was sit around, watch T.V. maby play xbox, stuff like that... i thought about death for awile... but i never thryed it.... I hav an INCREDIBLE fear of pain. I mean...... Sometimes... when i even THINK about scratching the walls i just JERK. No really, its like, i shake my head really hard, maby even put it to one side....... You know... like how you would pop your neck...

Well... that fear probably kept me alive so i could get here... in cantr... and anoy everyone in the forums..........

So how old are you then?
Lol, my friend told me you were dyslexic, he's such an idiot, dyslexia isn't poor spelling, it's mixing up the ends of words etcetera, and seeing them wrongly.

I think that's what's keeping me alive, fear of pain, but when you're really depressed, like I was, you have no fear and you constantly think over, and over, ways of killing yourself.
I thought of these things:
-OD Panadol
-Drowning
-Hanging somehow
-Eating a variety of tablets

I actually got up to grab some panadol to kill myself, by the time I had reached the cupboard, I turned around and walked away. (lol)

[the_antisocial_hermit]

I think that's what's keeping me alive, fear of pain

What has kept me alive through times like that is just the fear of disappointing and hurting everyone that cares about me... I'd think about what kind of reactions would ensue and I just couldn't put them through that much pain... I'd rather be the one in pain trying to sort it all out than let others be in pain...

[Floyd]

And the most depressing thread ever award goes too....

[Dee]

I think that's what's keeping me alive, fear of pain

What has kept me alive through times like that is just the fear of disappointing and hurting everyone that cares about me...

Wow... I pray to God everyday to keep me alive only to not hurt my family and everyone who loves me.. God knows my family cannot take losing another daughter..

[Slayer]

I've lost so much loved ones in just a short time that I have alreay gotten used to it. It bugs me for a couple of days, because I'm so forgetful I'll forget that someone had died and try to start a conversation about them,only to hear that they had died,then I remember. My uncle uncle on my dad's side of the family was the most recent to pass, but I get depressed because I never really had a chance to know him.
Death's a wuss, you should'nt fear it.

[Schme]

I would often consider suicide when I was a child, but it was mostly just because I thought (and rightly so) that I was the most gifted and prodigal person in the world, and that no one appreciated it, and that I should teach them a lesson. But seeing as I thought so much of myself, whenever I really turned it over in my mind, it just seemed such a foolish waste.

And besides, I've always considered suicide blasphemous. For a mortal being and child of the Lord to reject his gift and plan in such a manner would be ultimate insult, ungratefullness and betrayal.

If you don't want your life, give it to someone else. Become a nun, become a monk, help those who need help. The people who give the best help are either those with money and power or those who have absolutly nothing and are not at all concerned with their own lives anymore.

Also, I seen so many people who did not want to died die (or become as good as dead by being locked away in a pennitentiary for the better part of their lives sourounded by others who were in the same situation.) long before they natuarally should have passed on. Even as a little kid, it was just not a right thought that you should give up your own life when so many others could not have the whole of their own.