Why do Some People Make Fun of Others?

[BadMonkey]

West did make a good point about friends often doing what could be perceived as bullying from the outside. Me and my best regularly tell each other to catch some obscure disease and die. Infact he congratulated me for making several people believe he was dead when he went on holiday one time.

[SekoETC]

I was a weird kid. I'd been mostly on my own before going to pre-school, selecting who I want to be with or if I want to be alone. So if someone would try to take me in a game I didn't want to play, for example kissing tag, I would start crying so that they'd leave me alone. I didn't know how to make friends with others so I stayed alone. I was feeling lonely a bit but didn't know how to change it. So I was just following the teachers and when we were interviewed and asked who's your best friend, I said the name of the girl I'd want to be friends with even though I never actually played with her. Later I got a friend that was two years younger than me (the kindergarten was in the same building) and I didn't need more, so one other girl would have wanted to be friends with me but because I wasn't interested, she started picking on me.

There was also another girl who was mean to me, she would pinch my ass when I was sitting in front of her so that in the end I had to run out of the room. Another time she pushed her hand in the back of my pants. I don't know why. It felt cold and uncomfortable. And once after gym lesson I was changing my clothes and she shouted to the boys, "Look, Ilona is naked!" I didn't know what was wrong with that, it's all natural to change clothes if your gym clothes are sweaty but it still felt bad.
(Addition: For years I felt very shy about changing clothes, in the school locker room all the others were all casual about it but I might sneak into the toilet to change, or then I only take the sleeves off and dress up the new shirt under the old shirt before pulling the old one over my head so that no one would see my breasts. I also did this at home if there was any chance my parents or brothers might see.)

I guess I've told these things many times before but nah, I'll write it all again...

In elementary school I got one friend and later another who'd been a friend to my best friend in kindergarten. I was a bit of a rebel, I liked climbing trees, would come to classes late because I didn't feel like hurrying or I was too concentrated on something to hear the bell. I would also break the little roles, like stepping on the road that was the limit of school permises or to bring candy to school since it was not allowed, or to draw and write on desks and toilet booths. So I was a bit of a weirdo. And I would still cry easily.

I took everything personally. I hated one girl called Anna through the school age since on first grade I was walking home with my friend and Anna was walking home with her friend and we started throwing them with snowballs just for fun, and she threw me with a lump of ice. You should know it's a whole different thing throwing hard ice than soft snowballs.

My mom would organize me walking to school with a girl called Elina who lived in the same block. She didn't like me. Once she would run away from me and then go to her family's car a little further. After that I didn't walk with her anymore.

Sometimes I would walk home with Emma. If I bought chocolate she would eat most of it and force me to carry her schoolbag because I was her horse. She liked horses very much.

Johanna told me I'm her "spare friend". She was rather with Emma.

Oh, there were some people that would seriously pick on me. Most of them boys from my brother's class (one year younger). One of them was a runty kid called Olli. He was very smart and good with words. When I was drawing on the school yard he started shouting I'm writing notes to cheat on exams. That was embarrassing. And he kept shouting it all the time even though I explained I wasn't and even showed it was a drawing.

I have a notebook with correspondance of my mom and my teacher. It says my mom had asked my why do the kids pick on me and I said because of my eyeglasses and my clothes and now the braces too. Though almost everybody got braces in some point, it seemed. I also walked funny because my mom has cerebral palsy and we learn stuff by following our parents... And my clothes were always too big or two small because I was growing so fast and if I liked the old clothes then I didn't wanna let go of them.

A couple of girls from the upper class told me they'd beat me up if I used my headband in junior high. They were also laughing at my clothes. I told my teacher about it and we were sent to the principle's office. They said they were just kidding and they weren't laughing at me but the funny ideas associated with me.

Fifth and sixth grade weren't so bad, I was bullied all the time but I was starting to fit in more. Sometimes I even was a bit of an example to the others, I was the first one to cut my hair short and set a fashion, and not the last one to cut the knees of my jeans. I was an individual. In needlework I pressed a butterfly image in my jeans.

Then came junior high. The first day we were sitting in the corridor or standing? I don't remember. Older guys told us to stand up. One asked me what's the cost of those key bracelets on Tykkimäki (an amusement park in the next town). I said I don't know because my bracelet is from Linnanmäki. He said HE DIDN'T ASK WHERE IT'S FROM BUT WHAT'S THE PRICE ON TYKKIMÄKI?! And of course I didn't know and I was embarrassed.

There was also a girl called Laura in my class. She would pick on everybody but especially me and my new friend Henna, who'd been her best friend once but they'd gotten a grudge some years back. Henna was from a bad home, she was stealing and her clothes were poor. She smelled of sweat all the time. They also said I stank. Maybe I did then... After a while I wouldn't give a damn about my body or my clothes because everything was always wrong anyway, so why bother? They were shouting why's there a butterfly on my jeans? I couldn't answer... I often didn't say a thing and if I said, they wouldn't understand me.

Once two guys came asking what's wrong with me. Or what's bothering me, literally. I said: you. It's "te" in Finnish but in the local dialect it's "työ". I had to repeat it a couple of times, but all they would hear is "yö, yö" and they couldn't understand what I was trying to say.

I also got puberty earlier than the others. Or seems like some of them never got it at all, everybody's like a plank, no hips, no boobs. I was curvy. Once the guys were shouting at me to buy a bra though I was already wearing one. Maybe it was a bad model then... I figured I look fat. Maybe I was a bit sturdy on sixth grade, judging from the school photo. Then when I grew some more I started looking thinner. But I still consider myself ugly and my thighs and boobs and my butt are too big.

There's so much to tell... I don't feel like writing more at this time.

Edit: There's probably the post I was thinking about. http://www.cantr.net/forum/viewtopic.ph ... ght=#50299

[Dee]

Oh my God.. Seko, that's horrible!!

I hope you finished school, yes?

See, guys? Picking on people could destroy them mentally... It nearly happened to me!!

[Pie]

See, guys? Picking on people could destroy them mentally... It nearly happened to me!!

Clearly

but seriously.. if your a bully.. then get some counseling. In fact.. everyon could yous a good Psyceatric Evaluation.(Yes Nick.. even you.)

[Dee]

See, guys? Picking on people could destroy them mentally... It nearly happened to me!!

Clearly

What did you mean by that?

And why did you spell it correctly? Are you okay?

[Pie]

I'm fine. But what do you mean by

And why did you spell it correctly? Are you okay

I CAN SPELL CORECTLY IF I WANT! It just takes extra time. But sertain words are triky. Like... triky. Is it triky? And i have been trying to spell corectly more often now.

[SekoETC]

Yeah I finished school alright and went to senior high where there are more mature, intelligent people. But it was only then when I really crashed and had to go to therapy. I'd seen school psychologist a couple of times in elementary school and the councillor in eight grade but not too regularly. I'd been less than half a year in senior high when we had a health inspection and I just crashed, started crying about how I feel like such a bad person and my parents love my brother more than me. I had so much to talk about that I needed a second appointment for doing the normal things done in health inspection, like blood pressure and such.

I went to see a psychiatric nurse the next day and have been going to the clinic somewhat regularly for three years, after that a bit more randomly since I was living in another town for a while.

[Pie]

That is exactly why everyone needs a psycofalogicolagist.

even i have one.

[rklenseth]

I was picked on for being a runt. I was about 50 - 85 pounds in small school, always the shortest.

Still haven't hit any growth spurt....

Even now I'm only 5 foot 5 or 6 and 150 pounds... But I can fight so I don't care

umm.....5 foot 1. It is always harder to knock down us smaller people. Plus we have a better range at some vital parts as well as if you knock out the kneecaps big people just crumble to the ground. But not very many people picked on me. They tried but I ignored them and they went away or I had friends that stood up for me.

[rklenseth]

Bullies won;t pick on anyone who might fight back/actually be stronger. Whether that is through height, speed, physical build, amount of friends... whatever. Bullies pick on those they perceive as weak...

And those that will give in to bullying. If you don't react to their bullying than they seem to get bored and move on.

Though the only bullying that I ever really encountered was verbal. I never really got physical bullying so I would imagine that you can't ignore that as much though if anyone was to ever try that then there would be blood because I was a wrestler for most of Middle School and High School career and I know how to hold my own in a fight.

[rklenseth]

I'm fine. But what do you mean by

And why did you spell it correctly? Are you okay

I CAN SPELL CORECTLY IF I WANT! It just takes extra time. But sertain words are triky. Like... triky. Is it triky? And i have been trying to spell corectly more often now.

sertain=certain
triky=tricky
corectly=correctly

[Pie]

My point exactly. I spell it how it sounds. Like... psycolagist. i don't think i totaly spelld that corectly.. but i got the p right.

ooh... and i finaly know how to spell I'm.

[Surly]

RKL... triple posting?

Some good points though, especially about smaller people. Never mock height... for some reason they hit back...

[Oasis]

For some reason I pictured you as tall, RKL. I guess you write like a tall person.

[Pie]

as for me... i write like an 11 year old.. but i am TOTALY 12.