Church.... Slogans??

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Solutions Maximus
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Church.... Slogans??

Postby Solutions Maximus » Sat Jul 23, 2005 5:55 am

Churches have made some rather humorous bulletins in the past. Let's see what you come up with.

Please, post no more than 5.

This Monday we will be holding a 'Bean Supper' in the church hall. Music will follow

There will be a special collection today to pay for eight new choir robes. These are needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones

This Friday at 5 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become Little Mothers, please see the minister in his private study.

Everyone is welcome this Tuesday at 4 PM for an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.

This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs Jones to come forward and lay an egg on the altar
"Turn on, tune in, and drop out."
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Snake_byte
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Postby Snake_byte » Sat Jul 23, 2005 6:18 am

My gf has actually received an email full of these.

Don't let worry kill you - let the church help.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Thursday at 5 pm there will be a meeting of Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become Little Mothers, please see the minister in his study.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our chior practice


These are the one I like :lol:
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My old banner ;)
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wichita
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Postby wichita » Sat Jul 23, 2005 6:25 am

I used to have an e-mail full of these.
Git 'r dun fer God!
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Solutions Maximus
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Postby Solutions Maximus » Sat Jul 23, 2005 7:02 am

In God we trust
on the money
"Turn on, tune in, and drop out."
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Stan
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Postby Stan » Sat Jul 23, 2005 2:24 pm

There was one that once applied to me. My real name is Ed Hall. Our church has an Education Building with a hallway where people meet before doing an event or whatever. Our bulletin usually shortens the name of the building to Ed Bldg Hall. A few months ago I was leading an event so this ended up in the bulletin:

All people attending the Kindness Explosion please meet in the Ed Hall at 2:30p. For more information call Ed Hall at...

You can imagine the calls I got (in jest of course). I told them to be careful of the approach and take it easy on the entry. :lol:
Stan wrote:I've never said anything worth quoting.
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SekoETC
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Postby SekoETC » Sat Jul 23, 2005 4:55 pm

Hah, you said you'd never reveal your true name! And all the enemies of Baron F rush to assassinate... uhh, that must be a too common name to track... damnit.
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Stan
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Postby Stan » Sun Jul 24, 2005 5:22 pm

Drat!
Stan wrote:I've never said anything worth quoting.
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