Thought or Rant of the day!!!

[Snickie]

So apparently there was a car crash over the weekend, and four people from my school were involved: three guys and a girl. The guys all died, and last I heard (this morning, and the update was from two days ago) the girl was still in critical condition.
I feel so emotionally detached, like it doesn't apply to me. Who are these people? What is it that I'm supposed to feel, when people I've never even heard of but might have been within close proximity with me daily just suddenly die?
It's one of those things that makes me wonder what other people would think if I were to up and die.
I'm not looking for sympathy or anything for myself. It's just really.....weird.

The only times I've really cried over death were when my cat Faith died in 2003 (I was around eight years old, so what else would I do?), when my piano teacher died, and when I found out that my fourth grade teacher had died, which I was told several years after it'd happened. The last one probably upset me more, though, in the fact that I hadn't been informed until then. Considering she was my fourth grade teacher, I felt I had a right to know this when it happened. And yet I wasn't told or anything. I didn't even know she'd been ill.
My piano teacher died of leukemia, but I'd been aware that she'd had it. Some elements, of course, that I wasn't told about her condition several weeks before she passed on. But I at least knew right away.
Faith we had put to sleep because she was old and getting pneumonia. Of course, my parents didn't tell me exactly what happened ("She went to take a nap and never woke up"), so it was upsetting for me when it finally came out into the open, even though I'd already known by then they'd used euthanasia.
Honestly, though. It'd save me some heartache in the long run if people told me these things straight up, no "sugar-coating" or anything like that. Tell it like it is. If it was bloody and gory and possibly even disturbing, then say so.

But anyways, I've digressed enough. If any of you who are religious keep the families in your prayers, it'd be much appreciated. Thanks.

[Doug R.]

So, my brand new, expensive washing machine has no power. The guy comes, looks at it, confirms it has no power, and says it needs a new control board. It's back-ordered. This thing sits in my basement doing nothing but taking up space for over a week. Meanwhile, I have clothing piled to the ceiling, and am spending way too much money at the laundermat. 1 hour before the guy comes to fix it, I decide to plug it in, just to see. It worked.

[SekoETC]

I found that washing machine thing amusing.

My rant: Back when I had fever, I had hives all over my hands and that apparently caused layers of the skin to separate somewhere under the surface, so now the skin is flaking off in the spots where the bumps used to be. Also the skin on my fingertips close to the nails is peeling off, possibly due to dry air and not enough lotion, and having to wash my hands all the time in the kitchen only makes it worse. Also the knuckles on my right hand were reacting to something and turning red. No idea what caused it. I had to wear latex gloves for the rest of the day and I bought gauze on the way home and wrapped it around my hands, but it's unraveling around the edges so there's threads all over the place.

Also, the breads I baked yesterday were in the oven too long and I had to spend minutes digging them out of the pans. It was all tasty on the inside but had to toss them away because it was all torn apart. That sucked. I was in the serving team today and the two guys were occasionally slacking off, which was somewhat annoying, but overall it was a pretty good day despite the bad stuff.

[Doug R.]

Your red knuckles might just be microscopic splits in the skin because it's dry.

Re: the washing machine. I think the circuits got overloaded somehow. The same thing happened once to my desktop computer. I had to unplug it, discharge it by holding in the power button for ten seconds, then letting it sit unplugged for half an hour. The washer did sit unplugged for two days before the repair guy came, but with no way to discharge the board, apparently two days wasn't enough. A week was. Unless, of course, I'm completely wrong. They're replacing it anyway, but I think I'm going to keep it unplugged when not in use just in case.

[gejyspa]

So apparently there was a car crash over the weekend, and four people from my school were involved: three guys and a girl. The guys all died, and last I heard (this morning, and the update was from two days ago) the girl was still in critical condition.
I feel so emotionally detached, like it doesn't apply to me. Who are these people? What is it that I'm supposed to feel, when people I've never even heard of but might have been within close proximity with me daily just suddenly die?

My Mom died when I was 16, after a two year battle with cancer (breast metasized to lung). When she died, I was in the hospital room with her, and after, when my aunt (my mother's brother's wife) was driving her home, she said, "It's all right to cry". My mental reaction to her was one of anger-- "Please don't tell me how to grieve. If I wanted to cry, I'd cry. Not feeling like crying right now". I mean, I know she was trying to be helpful, but it was really -- not.

So, that's my advice to you, Snick. Everyone grieves (or not) in their own way. Do whatever feels right for you. Our school, I gather, was a lot smaller than yours (graduating class had 157 students). One of them passed away in 8th grade from "walking pneumonia" (same thing that would later claim Jim Henson). Wasn't really anyone I would have considered a "friend", per se, but he was a nice kid, and I was sad that he was gone.

Don't worry, Snick, I would be very sad if anything happened to you, and I've never even met you iRL!

[Joshuamonkey]

My Mom died when I was 16, after a two year battle with cancer (breast metasized to lung)

Nearly the same thing happened with me, except I was 14, and I'm not sure how long it was after she was diagnosed. I was the only one of my siblings who wanted to be there (our house) when she died. I cried at the funeral, but that was the only time.

Don't worry, Snick, I would be very sad if anything happened to you, and I've never even met you iRL!

Me too, and now that I think about it, I've never heard of a Cantr player dying (if something like 50,000 people actually played the game, over a period of 9 years, it's probably happened, but how would you know?), or getting seriously injured. That's something that I would put on my list of things for someone else to do if I died, mentioning it on Cantr forums. I certainly hope that Trexdino would (not a currently active player).

Not very happy thoughts..

[SekoETC]

There have been a couple of mentions of Cantr players dying. Like Dee's sister. She had a character in the same location as one of mine and it was kinda eerie knowing that character would never wake up. Then there was this one guy, I think his name was Ryan if I recall correctly, who died of diabetes and his mom came to tell about it on the forums. Although I think that guy played before my time.

[Doug R.]

Some guy that played one of that last games I played supposedly died in a motorcycle accident. Someone posted claiming to be his wife. However, since it's the internet and the odds of it being an attention whore far outweigh it being the truth, people gave obligatory condolences and then the thread stopped. Now, if it was verified, that would be something altogether different.

[Snickie]

So apparently there was a car crash over the weekend, and four people from my school were involved: three guys and a girl. The guys all died, and last I heard (this morning, and the update was from two days ago) the girl was still in critical condition.
I feel so emotionally detached, like it doesn't apply to me. Who are these people? What is it that I'm supposed to feel, when people I've never even heard of but might have been within close proximity with me daily just suddenly die?

My Mom died when I was 16, after a two year battle with cancer (breast metasized to lung). When she died, I was in the hospital room with her, and after, when my aunt (my mother's brother's wife) was driving her home, she said, "It's all right to cry". My mental reaction to her was one of anger-- "Please don't tell me how to grieve. If I wanted to cry, I'd cry. Not feeling like crying right now". I mean, I know she was trying to be helpful, but it was really -- not.

Recently, my cousin's grandmother (her father's mother; we're related through her mother's mother, who is also my mother's mother) died of cancer. I remember my mom telling me about it and how in the car on the way back home from the hospital (after she'd died) my cousin had asked if it was okay to cry. It was one of those "you should feel heartfelt and sympathetic" moments, but I was like, "Oh, okay.."

So, that's my advice to you, Snick. Everyone grieves (or not) in their own way. Do whatever feels right for you. Our school, I gather, was a lot smaller than yours (graduating class had 157 students). One of them passed away in 8th grade from "walking pneumonia" (same thing that would later claim Jim Henson). Wasn't really anyone I would have considered a "friend", per se, but he was a nice kid, and I was sad that he was gone.

Ah, yes. Our school has around 2100 students, the neighbouring school has even more than that, and they're opening a new high school in our area next year because apparently our school system is overcrowded in this part of my county, and they plan to have only 1800 students in each. I think part of this is because of the ordinance they passed this year that academic classes can have no more than twenty-five students in each class period, and the school has to pay a ten-thousand dollar fine for each extra student, or something like that.

But back to the topic. As I believed I mentioned, I didn't even know the kid. I might've seen him in the hallway or something, but his was just another face in a sea of faces. I never knew his name, anything until yesterday. So I feel nothing for him. "Oh, he died? That's a shame." Indifference through ignorance, really.

Don't worry, Snick, I would be very sad if anything happened to you, and I've never even met you iRL!

Thanks, gejyspa. Actually, that's something I've been more about as of late. There are Facebook pages for the guy who died this weekend, and already there are hundreds of members for each. There have been at least two memorial services at a nearby lake for this guy held by some of his friends. Are people going to create Facebook pages if I were to meet an untimely fate like that? Will people hold memorial services for me? I know of a few people iRL who would in a heartbeat, but how many people would attend or even care?

This makes me realise how little of a social life I have in real life. It seems like most of my friends are over the Internet, and I'm under the impression (that I realise could be wrong) that most people who I know in real life think I'm weird, an oddity. How many would know me other than maybe a name? "Oh her? I think I heard something about her on the announcements or something."
Of course, I know that's not the case. I seem to be a favourite amongst my teachers both past and present, so I'm pretty sure they'd know and pass it along. I'm also apparently popular amongst a few people in the band, even though I deny it publicly. Yes, I know the Internet pretty much constitutes as "public", but it's different than announcing it to people in real life.

It's not something eminently important to me, though, of how many people will know or care when I die. After all, I won't be around whenever that happens. Really, the only reason I'm discussing it still is because it is thought-provoking.
I could go into what I see as the other side of this issue, but I honestly don't have time right now (I have to leave in ten minutes) and I think I've rambled enough for now.

Edit: There was another viewing for him today at the skate park near a lake in the next town over, and there's going to be another one there tomorrow. I'm not going, obviously.

The only reason I'm even saying anything about it is because it's really annoying to see it all over Facebook. It makes me want to go on a serious hiatus from that site. Of course, that's just my perspective on it because I didn't know anybody in the crash, so I feel like it doesn't apply to me. But I know they're grieving, and I probably would be also if my best friend died in a bloody car crash.

I would say something else, but it'd probably be considered extremely unemotional and whatnot. And anyways, I just forgot what it was I was going to type.

[Meem]

I got my learner's license today. X3

[gejyspa]

(Congrats, Meem)

Oh, sure.. system is going up no earlier than an hour before I leave work, to head directly in the Sabbath, followed immediately thereafter by the play that I'm in, followed immediately by a panel discussion of it and dessert reception. Then home, where my wife will probably be so star struck by my performance that she'll insist that........
... and then it won't be until Sunday morning after she leaves for work that I'll be able to play cantr.

Great timing as usual, staff

But truly, reallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreally happy to see this announcement!
(warms up his F5 finger)

[Addicted]

.......dessert reception......

Is that what it sounds like? Lots of sweets? Can I come along? Pretty please?

[gejyspa]

If you can make it a continent away to Baltimore MD by Saturday night, you absolutely can come... info here:
http://www.jewishtheatreworkshop.org

[Snickie]

-tests F5 keey aand refresh button-
It's a good thing I'm in band. I'll be pressing F5 faster than the trill I have in the first song of our marching show (which is quarter note = 184 and the trill is in 32nd notes). That is, once I wake up on Sunday after recuperating from FMBC State Competition all day Saturday.

But I know the guy in my AP Chem class will be playing.

Edit: I've been eyeing my email ever since the announcement of the day of the relaunch, and I just realised that the email Doug sent out ended up in my spam inbox.
Assuming the acronymous meaning of SPAM…

CANTR IS NOT SPAM. Cantr is not stupid nor pointless nor annoying. Yahoo is just jealous.

Other than that, Yahoo is doing a great job of putting stuff into my spam inbox. I've found approximately twenty ads for Viagra and emails saying "enlarge your penis 'cause girls like big penis" (except there were words spelt wrong) and another five saying I have messages from two women on some dating site I never consciously joined. And since the number was in the thirties earlier this week, I know I've been receiving more that have passed the one-month retention time Yahoo maintains. It's really annoying.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

On the downside of my post here…
I hate the Florida Highway Patrol.
No further explanation will be offered.

[gejyspa]

emails saying "enlarge your penis 'cause girls like big penis" (except there were words spelt wrong) and another five saying I have messages from two women on some dating site I never consciously joined.

I mean, gee, you would think they would at least target the right sex! (Wait, unless I'm misreading the meaning of "girls like big penis"...maybe they truly are suggesting that girls .....hang on, I thought Freudian ideas of "penis envy" were no longer in vogue?) As for the other, what dating site? Womenseekingwomen.com?