The grant-a-wish game

[Nakranoth]

Done. All of your appendages are now minute.

I wish i didn't ruin perfectly good wishes with mediocre spelling.

[hEarty]

Done. You just won a spelling bee.

I wish my limbs weren't so minute!

[Racetyme]

Granted. Now they are gigantic. No more moving for you.


I wish all my characters had all the keys in cantr.

[Spazz]

Too easy,

Granted, however, as you are making off with a van after taking all the keys, the rest of Cantr's population follows you in an angry mob and kills you for stealing.

I wish I weren't so lonely (No men, fat/ugly/std infested women, no out of species sex either (and DEFINITELY NO TENTACLES!!!))

[dingo13and7]

Spazz, meet computer. Computer, meet Spazz.

* * *

I wish I had the power of a god (and thus I'm immune to the negative effects of my wish).

[SekoETC]

You are now a god but you are also immortal, which means you must live forever even when the Earth is swallowed by the sun and the universe collapses upon itself. You get desperately lonely and are forced to create a new world with so called intelligent creatures to keep you company, but the creatures are far more interested in doing stuff among themselves and they start saying you don't exist if you don't constantly come up with miracles that the current level of science can't explain.

I wish time would advance faster in Cantr. But no faster than twice the current speed.

[Neuman]

Done. It now advances exactly 1% faster than it did previously.


I wish for a plague of locusts to devour my enemy's crops.

[Spazz]

Granted, they also devour your crops, any other food you have, and your hair (All of it, including south of the border, and they ain't gentle in it either)

I wish IRC worked for me.

[Nakranoth]

Done, but the rest of the programs on your computer stop working.

(Oh, and hEarty, the rules of the game say you have to in some way have wishes go awry)

I wish bananas would stop going up and down stairs while wearing night garbs.

[hEarty]

Granted. They now do it in combat boots and keep you awake at night.

(I know but I just didn't have the heart!)

I wish that my contact would stop making my eye itch!

[Racetyme]

Granted, you are doomed to glasses forever.



I wish for a pet mule.

[SekoETC]

Granted, but it eats your favourite hat.

I wish I didn't feel so sad and hopeless. Post some other solution than death, please.

[Racetyme]

Granted, you are happy. I'm depressed at the moment, so I'm being idealistic. I'm just granting it. No consequences.



I wish for a better tennis swing.

[hEarty]

Granted but as you are taking that backswing, a sudden storm comes out of nowhere and you are struck by lightning. Damn metal tennis rackets.

I wish that I was never tired.

[Racetyme]

Granted. You're always asleep.


I wish for a better work ethic.