Excuses, Excuses

[Alladinsane]

This is a mess, why is there a bowling ball on the top sh--- ???


(some time later)

Can someone help me fix a cracked skull?

[Snickie]

I would but you hid the superglue. See it's your fault I can't fix you.

Somebody teach my cats to not kill each other.

[gejyspa]

Sorry, the dog is paying me more NOT to do so.

Someone find me more billable hours at my work?

[Snickie]

Bill Nye the science guy would be better at that than me

Somebody build a machine for me so I can just download all the information I need directly into my brain for the test tomorrow?

[Alladinsane]

I would if all the screwdrivers were not in a town on treefeather.

Somebody find me a splint for my broken thumb? Tootsie rolls, no matter how old they are, don't seem to be helping. Plus I keep shucking my thumb.

[Snickie]

How many times have I offered to take you to CentraCare or wherever so they can get a proper look at it and maybe we could get somewhere with fixing it? >:I

Somebody come wipe my nose!

[PaintedbyRoses]

I'm forbidden to touch drippy people but I sewed this lovely, head-to-toe, full-body, caftan out of multiple layers of Kleenex for you. Just slip it on and roll around on the floor for a while and I'm sure everything that needs to be wiped will get wiped. I'll return in a couple of hours.

Stop global warming. This is crazy and not, at all, amusing anymore [so somebody make it stop].

[Snickie]

But then I'd be cold...

I need a bodyguard/meat shield today when I go to the movie theatre in Sketchville.

[Misato]

Yeah, sorry, that part of town is just too sketchy for me. Besides...it's too hot to do things!

Someone fix my router for me!! I'm tired of using a mobile hotspot!

[Unqualified_Nobody]

When I tried to fix my friend's microwave a few days ago it came alive and killed everyone. Wouldn't want that to happen again with a router.

Anyway, could someone destroy a microwave that came alive and started killing everyone? The world depends on it, but I'm too lazy to deal with it. Thanks!

[Dust Puppy]

I would love to help you with your homicidal microwave, unfortunately it killed everyone, including me. I'm dead.

So, since I'm dead, can someone else please go to work for me tomorrow? Thanks.

[Unqualified_Nobody]

Well, I’m currently in hiding because of the microwave so I can’t go, and this base doesn’t have any outlets so I can’t work online.

Anyway, can someone bring some electricity to this base? My phones almost dead. A few dozen portable chargers would work, if connecting my base to the grid is too hard.