Postby miirkaelisaar » Mon Mar 06, 2023 2:44 pm
I am... kinda sad that I can't open up to people, I like him and he can't even tell, I should go back to sleep, this is dumb.
I am... ruining the mood with my f***ing trauma, again, yay. Why can't you ever shut up? This was always your damn problem. Quick, change the subject.
I am... suffering, it actually does hurt a lot, but I don't want to make a big deal, they think I'm healing but I think it's getting worse and I think I know what needs to be done, I just am not ready for it, or sure how to ask them for such a thing.
I am... so nervous and kind of guilty, is this a good idea? She sounds upset. If it goes badly this is all my fault.
I am... about to lose it, will you waaaaaaaake uuuuuuuuuuuuuuppppp?! AAAAAAAHHHHHHH WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP!
I am... in so much pain, I hate people, I hate life. I never wanted to live, you know? I never asked to spawn, in this stupid body, in this world, and then suffer for two centuries. It's not fair, I can't die but I can't live, I don't even feel human.
I am... kinda stressing about the drama, but if I ignore it, maybe it will calm down, I'm seriously JUST trying to be happy right now, please guys, please, this is so petty, we were fine a minute ago.
I am... nostalgic and lonely, I'm not sure what to do. I mean, I'll do things, but what is the point?
I am... honestly not sure if I can make it, he's been asleep so long, my heart hurts without him, I have nothing to live for, I should just fall asleep in his arms and not wake up again, we can just go together, both of us...
I am... really doing it, I'm preparing to sail again in a few years, oh jeez, I'm scared, I don't wanna get shot or stabbed again, but I don't wanna die here doing nothing the rest of my life, I need action, even if it means I die for it, at least I'll die fighting and not gathering barley on the beach half asleep.
I am... so lonely ugh, just stay awake.. maybe that new guy will notice me, he's dirty but cute, I could clean him up...
I am... startin' to think of things, the younguns remind me of my youth, an' he's awake, an' I'm awake...
I am... dreaming, right? I'm dreaming, this is one of my silly little daydream fantasies, right? It feels so real this time, but, he's not actually talking to me, touching me, smi..smiling at.. me... oh gods I'm not dreaming, this is really happening.
I am... confused and sad, I wish she would let me be alone with him for more than a few minutes, it doesn't feel fair how she hovers over us, she's insatiable at all times and he's sleepy at all times but I think I'm in love with him, I'm so stressed out and I can't even express it like normal people can, that's the worst part.
I am... so happy and in looooove! So this is what all the fuss is about! Life is beautiful! I've never been so happy!
I am... alive and confused, and kinda scared, but everyone is nice here, some are kinda handsome, too. But gosh, it's so quiet, no one really talks about stuff. Is this all there is in life? It's so hard not to just go to sleep like all the ghosts, what is the point of all this?
“No institution can function smoothly if there is disunity among it's members.”