Adopting Children

[Dee]

How do you feel about it?

If you had the chance, will you adopt any children?

I like what Angelina is doing... I know that this could be nothing but publicity for her and for Brad Pitt, but it's still great to be able to adopt children and donate money for the poor countries..

[Doug R.]

My heart tells me adoption would be a good thing, but my genes and my brain would keep me from doing it.

Genes: My wife and I are both viable, so there is no need. Plus, everyone wants their "own" kids. It's an ingrained drive to propagate your genes.

Brain: Adoption comes will all sorts of problems. It costs money, and you can always get stuck with a crack baby or a kid that has something wrong with them mentally or physically. It's heartless and cruel, but this is the brain talking. As I said, my heart is all for it.

So, unfortunately, it's 2 to 1 against, at least in the Doug R. household.

[deadboy]

I would only adopt if there were no viable alternatives.

[Michabean]

If I had the money I would adopt in a heartbeat without question. It's always been my dream to adopt a few children. Unfortunately, it's much cheaper for people to have their own children than it is to adopt. Someday maybe........

[Sarah]

If I ever wanted a kid, I'd adopt one. But unless I change my mind later, I don't ever want to raise children.

[Dee]

Why is it cheaper to have children of yourself instead of adopting? I don't get it..

And I think that you can run medical tests on the children you want to adopt before actually adopting..


It has always been my dream to adopt children... But if I have limited money, then the priority would be to have my own children first.

[deadboy]

I -really- don't understand why anyone would want to adopt if they are perfectly capable of having their own children anyway.

[the_antisocial_hermit]

I would want at least one child of my own, and I wouldn't want more than one or two children anyway. I think adoption is great, and if I couldn't have any of my own, I'd consider it if we really wanted children. It all really depends on a future and influences I can't fathom at the moment; not until I'm there...

Once, I did want to adopt. I was working for my college practicum at a place where foster children stay between foster parents and adoption. There were these three little girls (sisters); they were so sweet and so adorable. They were no more than a couple of years apart each... I think, 6, 3 and 1. The youngest only spoke little broken strings of Spanish. The second oldest was the same way but she seemed to understand a lot of English. The third always switched back and forth, mixing her English and Spanish in the same sentence. They were only there a week or so. They were so young but had been through so much but still so bright and happy most of the time. They had their moments of devilry and arguing with other kids and being grumpy. Didn't always want to take their naps or go to bed at night and cried when I'd leave for the day or when I was in the other house with other kids. It broke my heart when they were sent off to another foster home.

But, yea, I wasn't going to adopt three young kids when I was just 21, single, without a well-paying job..

Even if I didn't end up ever adopting, maybe someday I would still like to be a foster parent. I think they can do a lot of good. They can also do a lot of bad because you get people who do it just for the money the state allots you to take care of the kids even thought it's really not profitable.

There were a lot of sweet kids there, and a lot of little terrors, but I think they all just needed the same thing.. people who cared about them. It is definitely not an easy task to take on children through adoption or foster parenting. There are always so many issues you can't see or always understand, and you have to be patient and caring, even when you want to give up on them.

[the_antisocial_hermit]

I -really- don't understand why anyone would want to adopt if they are perfectly capable of having their own children anyway.

Maybe because they care about children that need homes and loving parents?

[Michabean]

Why is it cheaper to have children of yourself instead of adopting? I don't get it..

It is more expensive to adopt because most people have medical insurance that pays for the birth of a child. I've looked into adoption, specifically international adoption, and it's very expensive. It's also very difficult to get financial help. I wish it weren't so because I would have adopted a number of children by now.

[deadboy]

Nope, still don't get it. As far as I'm concerned there are plenty of people who cannot have children anyway, and it isn't easy for them to adopt in the first place, so by adopting when there is no reason to it is unfair on them, and secondly, I can't see -why- I should worry about children that I don't know having parents when my potential child doesn't have a parent yet either. At least I would be close to that one because it was my own. I'm not really interested in having a hand out child, it wouldn't feel like your own

[Michabean]

I'm not really interested in having a hand out child, it wouldn't feel like your own

That was such a rude thing to say, deadboy. I'm not even sure how to respond. Why would anyone want to help out someone who is less fortunate then them? It's a crazy thought, I know. I wonder if you would feel the same if your parents were not around to raise you?

[the_antisocial_hermit]

Nope, still don't get it. As far as I'm concerned there are plenty of people who cannot have children anyway, and it isn't easy for them to adopt in the first place, so by adopting when there is no reason to it is unfair on them,

A lot of people that can't have children choose to adopt babies. That's the point of having a baby, in some sense, isn't it? To be able to take care of your own child from the get-go? They won't choose the kids that are a year old or 5 yrs old or 10... I think many people that choose to adopt that are able to have their own often have one or two of their own and then adopt later.

As for the unfair on them, no, there are more children that need adoption that people willing to adopt. There's always a reason, whether it be because of physical/biological reasons you can't have children or because you love children and want to see them have a good life, regardless of whether you can have them or not.

and secondly, I can't see -why- I should worry about children that I don't know having parents when my potential child doesn't have a parent yet either.

It's called having a heart and wanting to give a child a home when so many others don't want to. Some people care very much about the welfare of others, care more about the 'everyone else' rather than the 'me and mine'. Is it so difficult to fathom why people like that might choose to adopt rather than have their own?

It's fine if you personally don't want to think/worry about children that aren't yours, but it doesn't stand that people that do want to adopt, even if they can have their own, would entirely understand your way of thinking either.

And your potential child has at least one parent. You, if it's your potential child.

At least I would be close to that one because it was my own. I'm not really interested in having a hand out child, it wouldn't feel like your own

They're still children... that need love and care. They're not just some old hand-me-down clothes that can be disregarded...

[Stan]

I have 2 girls of my own. We are considering adopting. There are more children that need adoptive families than families to adopt them.

We are considering because we love children. We can't change the world by adopting one child, but you can change the world for that one child.

We're considering adopting from Russia or China but I would consider adopting any child. To me it doesn't matter if it is my genetic code or not. If I'm physically dead who cares if my genes continue?

But, raising a child that may otherwise have a muted chance of a good life could pay dividends to society for generations to come.

It has to be right for the person,though, that's thinking about adopting. But that's how I look at it.

[west]

If we accept two simple postulates, we see that adoption is more ethical than having your own kids.

1) All human beings are created equal.

and

2) The earth cannot sustain an ever-burgeoning number of human beings.

There are millions of children who will never get a chance to live a fulfilling life, whether because of disease, famine, warfare, or something else.

Adopting a baby gives a family a child and a child that is already born a family. Having a baby gives a family a child, yes, and a child a family, but what about the other baby?

That being said, I'm going to have kids eventually, because it's my duty to humanity to make sure my fabulous genes are passed on.