Sorry to interupt this awesome epic planning...
Think I'll be taking a break from cantr for a few days, at least.. So if anyone around you suddenly goes less active.. sorry.
Thought or Rant of the day!!!
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Rebma
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Dudel wrote:Dudel in the IRC wrote:[04:19] * Dudel is Cantr magic! O.O
[04:19] <Dudel> XD
Magic, I'm Cantr magic! Y'all LOVE my characters but 1/2 of you don't like ACTUAL ME! XD XD XD
I LOVE IT! XD
Thats because your chars are only a part of you. . . Put them all in to one char, and they would be murdered within days of being spawned
Just kidding Dudel...I just couldn't resist
I'm not an evil Vindictive genius. I just like to help Karma along some times.
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chase02
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I got a little drunk tonight.. not too much. I'm glad to leave work on a good note, with them giving a speech about hoping the new job doesn't go well, so I can return to them. Not getting quite as drunk as last year.
I kind of spilled it to the taxi driver tonight. What a year. My dreams.. a culmination of 5 years actual work, 10 years of dreaming with all that I am, destroyed with one word. One word. I'm the only one that cares, so, damn, much. That one second in time plays over and over and over in my head. "No". And with that, everything separates.. everything falls apart, and leaves me with my thoughts. Just me and my thoughts. Noone really understands what that one word means to me. It is the entire world, and it is gone.
Then.. six months of pain. Knowing morally that he did the right thing, than maybe those kids lives will be normal because of this.. that they won't turn out as fucked as they could have if we'd worried about ourselves and the money, and the job more than some strangers kids we'll never meet. But suffering so much for it, personally. And no recognition. Just constant struggling. And I know karma will turn around at the end of the day, that we did the right thing, that everything will work out. But evryone agreeing with you - that means nothing, when it comes down to paying the bills. I have to out off my dreams for another year. What's one more year, when you've waited 10? 11? I lose track so fast. Days blur into weeks, into months, into years. It will happen. I will make it happen. Nothing else matters. But everything.. It's hard. It's damn hard. Nobody told me life would be easy.. but one word can destroy you more than you know.
What is my point? I don't know. I just need to tell the universe that I care more than you know. That imbdoing the right thing. That no matter how hard it is, that I put one foot in front of the other and stubbornly plod onwards, upwards, and pretend it's all going to be okay. And dream.. dream the dream that keeps me going. Because nothing else matters.
I kind of spilled it to the taxi driver tonight. What a year. My dreams.. a culmination of 5 years actual work, 10 years of dreaming with all that I am, destroyed with one word. One word. I'm the only one that cares, so, damn, much. That one second in time plays over and over and over in my head. "No". And with that, everything separates.. everything falls apart, and leaves me with my thoughts. Just me and my thoughts. Noone really understands what that one word means to me. It is the entire world, and it is gone.
Then.. six months of pain. Knowing morally that he did the right thing, than maybe those kids lives will be normal because of this.. that they won't turn out as fucked as they could have if we'd worried about ourselves and the money, and the job more than some strangers kids we'll never meet. But suffering so much for it, personally. And no recognition. Just constant struggling. And I know karma will turn around at the end of the day, that we did the right thing, that everything will work out. But evryone agreeing with you - that means nothing, when it comes down to paying the bills. I have to out off my dreams for another year. What's one more year, when you've waited 10? 11? I lose track so fast. Days blur into weeks, into months, into years. It will happen. I will make it happen. Nothing else matters. But everything.. It's hard. It's damn hard. Nobody told me life would be easy.. but one word can destroy you more than you know.
What is my point? I don't know. I just need to tell the universe that I care more than you know. That imbdoing the right thing. That no matter how hard it is, that I put one foot in front of the other and stubbornly plod onwards, upwards, and pretend it's all going to be okay. And dream.. dream the dream that keeps me going. Because nothing else matters.
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Mack
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Okay......how does anyone follow that Chase? I sat up all night trying to think of a how to word my rant, and then I see yours...It didn't just blow mine out of the water, it plucked it out of the ocean, gave it a pat on the head and told it to go play in traffic *sigh* oh well, maybe tomorrow
Seriously thought. I know the feeling Chase. And I know that one word
Seriously thought. I know the feeling Chase. And I know that one word
I'm not an evil Vindictive genius. I just like to help Karma along some times.
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Wolfsong
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