This thread may be old, but hey, everybody should read this.
I really like the writing style; it's much like Dan Brown's in Angels and Demons. All short, sweet, and to the point. I find the first draft perfect and would be fine the way it is except for spelling errors, of course.
So, uh, where's the rest of the story?
Cantr Story Teaser
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Lol, thanks for the bump, I never saw this post before. The story is good. And yeah, if sentences are too long they are hard to understand and just get the reader frustrated. I liked the 10 year old thing because it shows that the skills came from what the character did before they spawned. (not that they can't still improve their skills). It works out since this is a story about life in Cantr not something happening IC.
And by the way, this proves my point that it helps to be an author if you want to be successful in Cantr.
And by the way, this proves my point that it helps to be an author if you want to be successful in Cantr.
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