Drinking Stories

[colonel]

Not entirely. A person that drinks moderately is more likely to live longer than a person that never drinks at all. Note, I did say moderately. And that's just something I learned in my Drugs and Behaviour class.

And your definition of "moderately" is?

[Oasis]

I don't drink very often, but when I do, I tend to have a few. I think this is a form of moderation. I rarely get real drunk anymore.

[the_antisocial_hermit]

Moderately to me, would be no more than one alcoholic drink a day (and I don't consider a 32oz coke and rum as ONE drink ), or drinking a couple of times a week. Moderately in my class was something like, a glass of wine per day(again, not a 64oz glass of wine). Just as long as you don't start drinking when you get up and drink til you pass out in bed at night.

Gotta love ladies night on Weds. though! 50 cent bar drinks all night!

*looks around for her whiskey cherry sour*

[Oasis]

Where? where? I'm on my way!

[the_antisocial_hermit]

A long ways from Ontario... If you're here by Weds. then you'll have to come along! Free admission for ladies til 11!

Imagine yourself about 12 hours north of Mexico... In that U.S. state bigger than most countries... Same time-zone as Winnipeg, Manitoba... yea... somewhere around there... ehmm... only thing remotely Canadian around here are the hockey players... and only a couple of them get to stay during off-season...

[wichita]

My friend's Dad swore that two beers a day right after dinner will keep you healthy. The day after failing to complete this ritual one night, he came down with the flu!

My wildest night of drinking took place when I was an 18 year old rookie and involved three rounds of P & A in which I was forced to drink a twelve pack of Natural Light. Then I wandered off to the back porch where I began to take hits off the Bacardi 151. The light beer drinkers I hung out with in high school found it amazing that I was drinking 151 straight from the bottle, so I proceeded to turn it up and chug it straight from the bottle.

Fast forward to one litre and an hour later....I was hitting on all my little sister's friends (14 year olds ) and sprinting around in circles like a crack addict. I was carrying my guitar around the house, because I was in perfect condition to entertain everyone. I started literally bouncing off the walls, wipe out and land on my guitar with a loud crack. This sends my into a psychotic rage in which I fall down the stairs to the basement. The last thing I remember is laying at the bottom of the stairs screaming at the top of my lungs for somebody to bring me a Bible because I was going to hell and needed saved, and my friend in my face trying to calm me down.

6 AM rolled around and I wake up on the couch with about a dozen of my friends scattered all over the house and the worst case of cotton mouth I have ever experienced. It took a couple of years for all of the stories of my antics during the blackout to finally get circulated back to me...or at least I hope that was all of them...

The wildest night of drinking I witnessed was another high school party at my parents' house in which my sister's friend got so drunk off vodka that she crapped herself and my sister and her friends had to haul her to the bathroom and hose her down in the shower. The rest of us were sitting in the living room outside, when the bathroom door opened a crack and a hand held out a plastic cup. The guy who took it freaked out and luckily didn't drop it, because the cup held her crapped in panties. She ended up passing out on the couch, and we left her alone to sleep it off, which was a bad idea because some blithering idiot wandered into the room and decided she needed a haircut, proceeding to cut half of the hair off of the right side of her head. Poor girl never lived that down and had to move three towns away.

[Schme]

There you go.

Good examples of.

Never really been much of a drinker myself. Where I grew up, drinking was uncool. So were most drugs, if I remember right. Long story.

But I do remember a few stories people have told me. My father, for example, being almost perpetually in a booze induced haze, had many many stories. None of them were any good, though.

When I was about nine, I think, my stepbrother and I (who was, I think, eleven) took some vodka coolers of which my father and his mother kept in great quantity, and went to a junkheap to drink and sucked down a few. Besides feeling sick, it did not really deliver what it promised, and we got bored and went home.

I remember once, when I was a bit older, two men with whom I was aquainted had a little altercation that was remembered by the whole community.

The one man, a guy who liked his junk, sold some equipement to another man, a sort of scary and short tempered fellow, (I can't really remember his named, but everyone used to call him Mad Crazy and whatever his name was. "Mad Crazy" was a term used often, although I've no idea why. I think it was in a song or something. Anyway, people said it.)

So this guy who sold him the stuff comes around and tells him that seeing as it is his equipement that he sold, he should have some of the profits that were made with it. After having tried to show how idiotic a concept this was to the man, the other man decided that they would simply have to come to an agreement. Being hospitable, he treated the man to a great deal of his home grown reafer. After having watched the unreasonable man inhale a great deal of his magic herbs, he set about making the agreement. He beat the man's head in with a cast iron bar. I think he's still in prison, although I'm not sure.


Once when I was three, my father and his friends wanted to see wheather I liked beer or not, because if I did, it would be funny. So he gave me a bottle and told me to take a sip. Rather than do that, I tipped the bottle upwards, as I'd often seen my father and his friends do. I can't remember what happened after that.

If I think of any more, I tell you.

[Ian]

Yeah my first few drinking experiences were accidental. When I was 1 and a half I was in France at a restaurant and I went from table to table sipping people's wine. They thought it was cute.
A couple months I had an especially crazy time. I jacked a bottle of Bacardi Razz (Girly but easy to conceal ) and went to a friends house with a bunch of kids. There was this girl who didn't drink much, and she was giggling histerically, so I kept offering her more and more, and she would down it like crazy. Then she passed out and my friend freaked and kicked us out of the house (We were all under age). Everyone was concerned about this girl, who was kind of comatose, because she was on adderall, which I didn't know before, so the effect was amplified. She started to come to in the car, and she puked so we pulled into a parking lot. A few of my friends were too sketched out so they started walking home. I got her out of the car and supported her, but she passed out again so I put her down on her side. Just then an SUV comes screeching into the parking lot, so I put her back in the car and got in myself. They said they were undercover cops, and told us to put our hands on the hood, so I got out and propped the girl against the car too. The guy was like: You're under arrest, get in the car." But one of my friends, Sam, has been arrested numerous times and he knows his shit so he asked to see their ID. The driver got really pissed off and started to pull out, and my friend chased after him on foot. The guys got away. Sam was upset because we couldn't find his brother on the way back. His brother was one of the people who bailed on us. So we went to the cops and Sam went in stinking drunk. The cops asked if he'd been drinking, and he said he had only a few, and they didn't care. They caught the bastards ten minutes later and slammed them for impersonating a public servant. Everyone made it home okay, the kids on foot apparently took a back road. We all had a good laugh and a bad hangover.
I was camping with a different group and they brought a bottle of 151 and I had some whiskey, and all I can really remember was chugging bourbon to get the taste of alcohol out of my mouth. Good times.

[Schme]

Undercover cops? Is fall for that one?

Must be carefull, my friend. The constables don't go undercover, not for underage drinkers, no. They like it all splay out, and they like to carry there stuff, you know?

Must be carefull.

[kinvoya]

Gosh these stories are so hilarious they make me want to cry. Seriously, they are depressing.

I'm not much of a drinker, myself. When I drink it's usually just one or two spread out over the evening. I have no interest in getting drunk. Drunks are stupid and annoying.

[Schme]

Drunks are stupid and annoying.

Damn straight.

[Nick]

Drunks are stupid and annoying.

Damn straight.

Unless you're drunk, yourself. Then drunk people are hilarious!

[Schme]

And, in the case of drunks around where I live, often badly beaten and robbed blind. Espicially groups of drunks.

"Hey kids! Partying tonight?"