Thinking about quitting.....

[Estaar]

I'll have to lay low at least untill after Christmas. Might cut down on some characters as well. The last weeks have been hellish.

[Doug R.]

I just put in a heroic effort to rid myself of two characters, to no avail. I'm such a wimp.

[Snickie]

lol Doug
But we love you anyway.
(Mostly because you now have two more characters than you would have had had you actually gotten rid of those two characters. lol)

[Doug R.]

I take half back. I think one of mine will starve before she comes out of the NDS.

[mikki]

I figured that since Mitch posted my comment in here some time ago, it would be appropriate to put what I say now.. in this area as well.

Before I went on my little vacation mode-taking a step back from the game, I realized that every time I thought about coming on the game.. and especially one specific char, I would end up feeling sick to my stomach. I'm not going to name the char but if you know who I play then I'm sure it wouldn't be all that hard to figure it out. Anyways.. I was almost to the point of actually pressing the X because this is supposed to be a game for me and not an outlet of stress. I have during this time killed off a few of my chars and I honestly don't miss them. Yes, I do still have that one stressful char but I haven't started playing her. I'm still deciding on her fate. I have however started to slowly play some of my other chars. I do have to admit that while I was away.. I didn't miss the game. It was just something else to stress over. I'm hoping that me coming back this time will be different. Soo.. for those that were watching my chars for me during that vacation-step away from the game thing.. I'm BACK!!

[Sunni Daez]

Welcome back Mikki!!!

[LittleSoul]

Cutting my amount of characters at least in half, and eventually, honestly, even more than that after a while. Down to about three tops, maybe less.

Life is about to get ridiculously busy in the next few months and for some time after, and I simply don't/won't have time for them. So just a heads up!

[Majix]

After many years of playing Cantr I feel like quitting.

I'm tired of the interest in sex when it promotes old male attitudes to women.
On the radio we hear "women" sell their bodies.
In the forum I read there is too litte rape (!) in the game.

I'm not sure I want to be part of a game with players who finds this okay.

[saztronic]

I'd be sorry to see you go, Majix, but also confused if you went for this reason.

The game is supposed to be a society simulator. Sex plays an unbelievably outsize role in real society, due to its biological imperative. You don't eat, you die. You don't mate, your species dies. So there are powerful forces at play that drive people to engage in sexual activity.

Cantr may, in many respects, mirror real life. Women engage in prostitution more than men. It's not called the oldest profession for nothing.

People, players and their characters may also exhibit all manner of sexual procilvities, some mundane, some uncommon, some reflective of typical societal attitudes, some not. Personally, I've played characters of both genders who were straight, gay and bisexual, and I'm pretty sure (memory is not always perfect) role played sex in all of those permutations. That probably makes me sound sex-crazy, but often it's other charries approaching mine, not the other way round.

As for rape and rape fantasies... there are several studies that show that when women masturbate, rape is one of the most common fantasies they turn to. And before I get crucified, those same studies show that those same women do NOT want to be raped for real. They just fantasize about it. Perhaps, in the same way I might fantasize about an orgy but in real life would have no interest in one and actually find it a huge turn off. Sex is, among other things, about power dynamics. I forget the poltician who said that everything in life is about sex, except sex -- sex is about power.

So if someone is interested in exploring sex work in the game, or the emotional dynamics of forced sex, why would that bother you? Does it bother you that people want to explore the emotional dynamics of murder, mayhem, torture, piracy, disability, social dominance, or flatulence? Because I've actually come across all of that in this game.

If you don't like what you see as a predominance of stereotypical male attitudes toward sex in the game, you can do something about that. Play something different. Play a transgender character, or an outspokenly asexual one. Start a religion that glorifies the power and primacy of women in society. Play a prude who preaches against immorality, vice, and lack of self control. Play a serial killer who preys only on men who demean women or womanize.

But quitting... that would be due to your hangups, not anyone else's.

[SekoETC]

Sorry if you're quitting over something I wrote. Most Cantrians seem rather asexual, it's probably less than half who are interested in sex and even less of those that are into kinky sex.

[Majix]

I have no problem at all with sex. I have a problem with the attitude to women here. I live in a country where women are more equal with men than in other counties and we don't have as much double standards as in some other countries.

Women engage in prostitution more than men

And why? Do you really, for real, think most of them do it because they LIKE it? Because they WANT to? If the answer is yes, I get really scared.

As for rape and rape fantasies... there are several studies that show that when women masturbate, rape is one of the most common fantasies they turn to.

Until you show me the proof for that I put that comment in the male prejudices box as well.

[saztronic]

Until you show me the proof for that I put that comment in the male prejudices box as well.

Here's one article: http://www.slate.com/blogs/humannature/ ... ousal.html

Note that although the author of the article is a man, the research cited was conducted primarily by women.

If you'd like more such literature let me know, I'll PM you with other references.

[hyrle]

Saztronic - the quote was from Oscar Wilde in a letter he wrote. It was recently re-quoted in the Netflix series House of Cards by Kevin Spacey's character, who is a politician in the series.

In any case, my characters engage in romantic encounters to a certain degree, and have encountered some prostitutes, but the NCS seems to do a good job of making people handle things consentingly.

[SekoETC]

I think probably there are more female prostitutes than male, because it's assumed that men always enjoy sex, so why should they get paid for doing something they like?

[catwill]

As for rape and rape fantasies... there are several studies that show that when women masturbate, rape is one of the most common fantasies they turn to. And before I get crucified, those same studies show that those same women do NOT want to be raped for real. They just fantasize about it. Perhaps, in the same way I might fantasize about an orgy but in real life would have no interest in one and actually find it a huge turn off. Sex is, among other things, about power dynamics. I forget the poltician who said that everything in life is about sex, except sex -- sex is about power.

As a rape survivor I can only speak anecdotally about this but I can see this being true. My therapist tells me it is common for rape survivors to have rape fantasies and a desire to role play it as a way of reframing it and taking back the power and control. It's not something I actively seek for any of my chars and truthfully I don't even know if I would want to RP it if given the opportunity. It took me over 15 years to share that with my, now former, partner so it's not something that wholly occupies my mind but it is there.