The grant-a-wish game

[Snickie]

Done. All your emails are gone! Why? None of them contain the words "non-spam".

I wish we'd win State FMBC Championships against some of the top high school bands in Florida.

[gejyspa]

Granted. Band budget is cut from all high schools in Florida except yours, making it rather easy to defeat them. Unfortunately, demands on your time to perform at every single event in the state from ballgames to gubernatorial inaugurations, to pet shop openings causes you and all your bandmates to have no time for homework, and no effective immunity against infectious disease, and you all fail miserably, and/or die horrible deaths.

I wish my 14yo would manage to actually wake up with his alarm, and not have me have to wake him up to go to school.

[Snickie]

Granted. Every morning, your son wakes up on time and you don't have to do it for him. But since you don't have to anymore, you start sleeping in and fail to wake up until after he's supposed to have been at school, meaning he misses school since he's not old enough to drive there. He fails miserably and ends up just dropping out, leading him to live on the streets after he turns eighteen, playing jack-in-the-boxes to get a monkey to "dance" on street corners as his only even remotely reliable source of income.

I wish I would actually sleep during the night like I'm supposed to, and stay awake during all of my classes and other daily (and some not-so-daily) obligations.

[gejyspa]

...playing jack-in-the-boxes to get a monkey to "dance" on street corners as his only even remotely reliable source of income.

I'm sorry, did you suddenly start speaking Neptunian? That sentence has zero semantic content for me.

Meanwhile...

Granted. You sleep so soundly throughout the night that you don't wake up even when a cannonball shot by the Mythbusters team breaks through your house, and causes your plasma TV to explode, setting fire to your dwelling... everyone perishes but Ninja, who proceeds to gnaw on your nose.

I wish my boss would do his code review already, so I can move this program change into production.

[Snickie]

Granted. Your boss does the code review, but he merely glances at it and lets it pass, not even bothering to point out the fatal error in the code. The program change is implemented, but the error causes the computer systems in the entire state to permanently shut down. You are to blame: you are fired, and the incident passes as a "deliberate sabotage" on your permanent record, meaning you and your family will never get anymore jobs or non-family relationships ever again. You die penniless and alone.


I wish <name> would get it through her head that that I am first-chair clarinet!

[gejyspa]

Granted. And in a fit of piquish revenge, you get both a chair (first) and a clarinet through YOUR head, at high speed. You do get the satisfaction of seeing her hauled away to jail, though, before you slip mercifully into a coma.

I wish my kids would stop being so angsty about life, the universe, and everything.

[Cheshierekat]

I'm sorry, no matter what that wish is ungrantable.

[playerslayer666]

i wish i knew what to wish for ( this wish has possibly already been done )

[Snickie]

Granted. You now have so many wishes that you wish for that your brain begins to swell up because it can't hold it all in. You start spouting those wishes left and right, but the rate at which wishes are building up in your brain exceeds the rate at which you are screaming them, and thus your head begins to expand until it finally just explodes and you die.


I wish I didn't have to do my AP Government homework.

[Rugila]

The teachers believes you have some secret talent and entrusts you double the homework.

I wish i could play cantr on my laptop longer than 15 minutes battery.

[Snickie]

Congratulations! You can now play Cantr on your laptop for 15.00000001348273 minutes' battery!

I wish my stalker would stop stalking meeeeee. >___<

[Henkie]

Congratz! You get kidnaped by him!

I wish comedy central would broadcast good shows again

[playerslayer666]

granted, and its now the only thing to watch on EVERY channel.

i wish this topic was bumped to the top.....*grants*

[Snickie]

You can't grant your own wish. The topic was bumped to the top, only to be shoved back down by the Magic Vending Machine and various other threads.

I wish my lingering cough would go away.

[oddedd]

Congratulations, your cough is gone! Annnnd so is your voice.

I really hope I don't get seasick when we transit tonight!