Adopting Children

[Wilmer Bordonado]

We're considering adopting from Russia or China but I would consider adopting any child. To me it doesn't matter if it is my genetic code or not. If I'm physically dead who cares if my genes continue?

And why aren't you considering adopting a child from the USA, as it's your own country?

You couldn't just tell me there are no children in need into a population of 300 million of people.

Sorry for saying this, surely is not your case, but I actually hate those people -particularly united staters- who wants to adopt a child from Eastern Europe, Namibia, Somalia or Bolivia, without even know anything about those countries and the ambient where they were living in.

Certainly I do hate those people who think paternity is some kind of mode. "Let's do it as Angelina", you know what I say.

United Staters shouldn't go and adopt a child to save his or her integrity and potential future. They should go and stop their own government to dropping bombs and killing people -too many children- like places as Irak.

Wilmer B.

[formerly known as hf]

Many adoptees from the USA and Europe adopt babies from abroad because, Wilmer, there actually aren't that many babies up for adoption, even amongst the 300 million people of the USA. Any that do go up for adoption are heavily competed for.

People go to 'poorer' countries to adopt because, if they want a baby, that's the best opportunity - not usully because of some philanthropic reason.

But you are right, that there are many children in need in the US and West Europe.

Adoption isn't cheap and easy if you want a baby under one, or even under two years old.

If you are prepared to take a child aged five or older, there will be queues forming at your door.

That's the sad truth - adoptees want babies, they want to raise a child from as young an age as possible - hence there is huge competition for young children.

Once a child reaches the age of five, their chances of being adopted, no matter where in the world they are - fall to almost zero.

I am not being critical - I fully understand the desire for wanting a baby to bring-up. Even myself, knowing the situation, if I was to adopt, I would want a baby - the first two years of life are the most formative years for anybody, it's the time at which the brain is 'hard wired' and personal characteristics, emotional response, a whole raft of social understandings are formed, for life. I would want to be a major part of those two years.

I have considered adoption, but, knowing the situation, it would probably leave a bad taste in my mouth. Also, especially if I was in a heterosexual realtionship and able to have a child of my own, knowing the competition, even internationally, it would be unfair for me to compete against couples who cannot have children of their own.

I have, seriously, considered fostering. It is something me and my partner have discussed, and have seriously considered - ubt a stable job and home comes first...

[Dee]

What is fostering?

I really like what some of you had to say about adopting... I'm truly happy to see that there are people that want to adopt the less fortunate children...

I've been thinking about it lately.. I know this is too early to be thinking about it, I even haven't got engaged yet, but when I get married and if I couldn't get children of my own, or even if I did and I was rich, I will adopt.

[Doug R.]

Fostering is when you take in children and care for them until they are adopted. In the US, there really aren't many orphanages, because most kids are in foster care. Lots of times, the foster parents end up adopting the kids, but it's also common for kids to bounce from foster home to foster home until they're 18. I think it's popular here because it's basicly like a "trial kid" program. If you don't want to adopt them, they move on to the next foster home, so you can just keep fostering until you find a kid that really clicks with your family.

My best friend's mom took better care of her foster kids than she did her own son. Pretty much screwed up his life.

[Phalynx]

Please don't take this as a judgement of these people, but often people leave it quite late to have children, and then hit 35 or older and find it isn't as easy as they thought it would be or it just isn't possible.

These people then want to adopt a baby, primarily to avoid the potential screw ups of others poor parenting. Remember most of a child's future is decided in the first 5 years of life.


Personally I'm not in favour of adoptions from abroad. It's not easy to adopt in the UK, if you are lucky ( ) enough to find a child that has been removed at birth, it may take 18 months before the adoption process is complete, although you would expect to have had the child in your care for some of that time. Foster care is not always a positive experience for children but is generally a better option than a care home. However there is a massive surfeit of children aged 7 and up here that are unlikely to ever be placed for adoption. I have a friend who is a social worker and she is clear that, particularly boys, over the age of 10 are virtually never found adoptive homes.

I am lucky to have a boy and a girl of my own, I would have no more children of my own and if I ever had the finances to support it I would be looking to adopt an older boy, even if it is hard work, for this reason!

[Chris Johnson]

Fostering is not only caring for children waiting adoption, It's looking after children who have no immediate legal guardians for both short and long term durations. This includes children who's parents are dead, in ill-health as well as ones who are in prison or deemed unfit by the authorities. Most foster children return to their natural families

Fostering experiences both for the fostered child and other siblings in the fostering family come in a wide variety of types , some positive and some negative but as Phalynx says , these experiences are often better than the institutional approach.

There is (at least in the UK) a great need for good fostering homes and I'd highly recommend anyone who has any inclinations in that direction, that they contact the relevant organisations.

[Stan]

We're considering adopting from Russia or China but I would consider adopting any child. To me it doesn't matter if it is my genetic code or not. If I'm physically dead who cares if my genes continue?

And why aren't you considering adopting a child from the USA, as it's your own country?

You couldn't just tell me there are no children in need into a population of 300 million of people.

Sorry for saying this, surely is not your case, but I actually hate those people -particularly united staters- who wants to adopt a child from Eastern Europe, Namibia, Somalia or Bolivia, without even know anything about those countries and the ambient where they were living in.

Certainly I do hate those people who think paternity is some kind of mode. "Let's do it as Angelina", you know what I say.

United Staters shouldn't go and adopt a child to save his or her integrity and potential future. They should go and stop their own government to dropping bombs and killing people -too many children- like places as Irak.

Wilmer B.

You sure are full of hate. Thanks for the lecture.

To me it's not a matter if it is a Chinese child and Russian child, Namibian child or American child. I could care less where they born. Perhaps that's your concern, but it isn't mine. I'll choose where and how I want to adopt based on what I think is the best option for my case, the child's case and my family's case.

Thanks for the input, but I think it's stupid to generalize about such a personal choice as adoption. I "hate" when people generalize about things like that...as if you know what's best for everyone else.