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The Magic Vending Machine

Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 1:07 am
by Leo Luncid
Behold! The only vending machine that you put anything into, and anything can pop out of it! What shall go in and what shall go out? You decide!

The rules are simple: Choose any number of any kind of items you decide to insert into the vending machine's slot. A different user will have to decide what shall come out of the vending machine and then shall insert another item or items, and so on.
Example wrote:User 1: I insert a coin into the machine.

User 2: A soda is dispensed out of the machine.

I insert a ladybug into the machine.

User 3: The machine spits out the ladybug and says, "For the last time, quit bugging me!"

I insert a severed finger into the machine

All right, let's see what you can do!

... Oh yeah, me first...

I insert Mr. Krab's first dollar into the machine.

Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 5:21 am
by Torkess_theCommie
a crab comes out, pinches you on the nose and crawls away

I insert a guitar pick

Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 6:42 am
by the_antisocial_hermit
A monkey comes out, dances on your head and then appropriates your wallet.

I insert 50g of tortoiseshell into the machine.

Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 9:58 am
by SekoETC
...Out comes a can of turtle soup (thin, drinkable).

I spit into the slot.

Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 10:56 am
by BarbaricAvatar
A handsome prince climbs out

I ram-raid the vending machine with my car

Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 12:07 pm
by Stan
...nothing happens.

I put 1 coffee bean into the slot.

Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 1:16 pm
by SekoETC
Out grows something that appears to be a beanstalk at first, but then it starts blooming live-size porcelain coffee cups filled with espresso.

I put a miniature plastic soldier into the slot.

Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 1:16 pm
by formerly known as hf
which promptly goes through a few billion years of evolution in an instant, progressing into an amphibious coffee-bean based creature, then a predatory bird-like coffee-bean based creature, eventually shedding its wings and becoming a four legged coffee-bean based predator not very-dis-similar to contemporary cheetas. Soon after, it becomes fully sentient and self aware, quickly developing a spoken then written language. It then solves the issue regarding nano technology and promptly creates a fully functional artifiial neural network. Further advances allow it to begin to fuse itself with this nanotechnology, and it becomes a cyborg creature that is still vagualy coffee-bean based. Not long after this, the meshing of machine, nanotechnology and the biological entity becomes increasingly blurred, until a further leap allows the coffee-bean entity to exist without the confines of physical form. It then meshes itself with the vending machine, which promptly short-circuits, killing the coffee-bean based creature and singing your eyebrows.

(EDIT: Apologies Seeks, you just beat me to it)

I put in a Czech Kroner

Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 4:07 pm
by west
Kroner says something indistinguishable and then deletes his account.

I put in two feathers and a bit of pocket lint.

Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 6:35 pm
by Nalaris
The machine produces two birds with pocket lint instead of feathers. They blame you and you call you a communist.

I put in 100000000000004326550123563201652301935622231765AGDK3 grams of gold.

Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 6:47 pm
by formerly known as hf
Only to find that the vending machine is, in fact, some form of reverse-alchemy device, which converts all that gold into lead. The weight of the lead is such that it collapses into a minature black-hole. The resulting gravitational field sucks you in, just before the whole lot disappears into the time-space rift that was formed by its own creation.

I put in the publication The Inbound Tourism Initiative of Japan - A Realistic Plan to Substantially Increase International Visitors to Japan (2002) by the Ministry of land, Infrastructure and Transport, Japan

Posted: Thu Apr 13, 2006 4:46 am
by Torkess_theCommie
the vending machine spits out japanese beer and shredded up pieces of the publications.

I insert a picture of Hermitess

Posted: Thu Apr 13, 2006 5:04 am
by SekoETC
The machine says "Whoa momma" in a slightly metallic voice and shuts its external functions for half an hour apparently to spend time alone with the picture.

I insert my school scedule.

Posted: Thu Apr 13, 2006 7:02 am
by Phalynx
The machine scans your schedule and laughs a cold harsh laugh without mirth......

I insert a lock of Alyssia Stone's hair...

Posted: Thu Apr 13, 2006 9:42 pm
by Nalaris
She pops out of the very large bucket with legs and arms reversed and missing her hair.

I insert my straight-A report card.