The grant-a-wish game

[Racetyme]

Granted. There are no more plants within a thousand miles of you.

I wish for a beach ball.

[SekoETC]

Your most favoured beach is encaptured inside a magical sphere and your family/loved one/best friend happened to be on the beach while it happened. Now you much take care of the sphere, hoping to restore it one day or your precious person will die.

I wish the irc channel would work. (It did a moment ago but then this computer mystically rebooted and after that I opened the window, it got stuck and doesn't react. Opening another window only gives gray where the chat should be.)

[Nick]

The IRC channel continues to work properly. You continue to not be able to connect to it, given that it's your computer with the problem.

I wish for a dollar.

[Antichrist_Online]

Granted, but it's a silver American dollar been fired towards your genitals by some angry American Confedarates...

I wish I had another lover...

[Nick]

Big Bubba loves you tenderly. Well, not so tenderly, but you sure are tender now.

I wish that whoever grants me this wish will not harm me, or anybody else. Nor will they encourage, allow, aid, or abet somebody else to do so.

[Bowser]

Congrats, nothing ever happens to you, nothing.... enjoy your life full of nothing. Not only that, nobody else can be encouraged, allowed, aided, or abet somebody else to do anything with you.

I wish I could be Eddie Van Halen

[Nakranoth]

You know what? You could be. All you need to do is go get your name legally changed.

I wish for a regular sized balloon full of pure helium, tied at the end, with ribbon attached to its tail.

[Antichrist_Online]

Granted, however the ballon is filled with liquid helium that sinks and burns your leg.

I wish things wouldn't go out of stock when I try to buy them...

[Spazz]

Granted, they never go out of stock, but everything you try to buy costs an absurdly high amount of money, and you don't have any money.

I wish for something EXTREMELY ridiculous to happen.

[Nakranoth]

Whlie sitting in your living room, you get trampled by a stampede of elephants and one zebra, durring a hailstorm, and a full solar eclipse, which you missed because you were under-foot at the time.

I wish sleep depravided speach were less incompehensably difficult.

[Neuman]

Sleep deprived speech is now less incomprehensibly difficult. It is still incomprehensibly difficult, but not as much anymore.


I wish for 15 pounds of Monterey Jack, and the continent of Australia.

[Spazz]

Nakranoth, a Zebra?! Now THAT is ridiculous..

Granted, you are given both, however the cheese is set at your feet, just to where you can't reach it without bending over and using both arms. This wouldn't be a problem, if you hadn't also just been given the continent of Australia to hold up, lest it crush you.

I wish gorillas were smarter, smoked cigars, and played poker.

[SekoETC]

Granted, they're now playing poker with you. But they're much smarter than you, so you end up losing all your clothes.

I wish my new shoes were good to wear.

[UloDeTero]

Granted. They are. The guy who stole them from you loves them. Of course, he just had to knock you out and leave you lying in a pool of blood. That's only fair.
(I just realised that these would be womens' shoes, but hey, that works too! )

I wish for the eradication of all badness, while maintaining all goodness.

[Neuman]

Done. The severe imbalance in the nature of the universe caused by the removal of the badness, however, causes the annihilation of everything in existence. Nice job, genius.


I wish for the ability to give other people eternal life.