Cantr II Discussion Forum

I am trying to find friends of the player known as Claivuus. I know he hasn't posted in the forums since last May, but I don't know how long it's been since he played the game.

Claivuus' IRL name is Ryan, and I am very sad to report that he passed away on December 12 2005. I have been trying to connect with his Internet friends to let them know why he hasn't been around the last 2 months.

I am this player's Mother, and I just learned of this site 2 days ago. I found his profile, and have been reading through his posts. I am pleased that he presented himself as an intelligent young man, even though he could be annoying at times. He was like that IRL, too.

Talk to me, please. I am trying to get to know my son outside of our own dysfuncional relationship.

Mum

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I'm sorry for your loss.

I did not know your son except for what he posted on this forum.

I hope you find what you're looking for.


And again, I'm sorry for your loss.

Dear Ryan's Mom,

I am so so sorry for your loss. This is such sad news. I would like to convey my heartfelt condolances on behalf of myself and all the players of Cantr on Ryan's passing. I didn't know him well myself, but I did know him through some of his characters, and from this forum. I do know some of the players who did know him well, and this is going to be very sad news indeed.

For those who might not recall him by his first name, Ryan's forum nick was Claivuus. I will list the past characters he played for you all. (Please forgive me if I get any of their locations wrong, I have only old records to go by, and some were travelling then)



Carey Allan of the Klojt Mountains
Chris Calder of Blojt Forest (east) area
Cylic Deamano of the Olipifirovash Forest area
Garreck Tralvert of the Pok area
Lasari Jhudilian Querk
Mikhael Lightfoot, a wanna be jeweller of Drojf
Barran Diarmon, Commander of the Guard in Cantr City
Blaine Quarren of Olipifirovash
Chris Rockford of Quillanoi Forest (west)
Delia Everwood of Tircqi
Drake Waters of Tircqi
Kerry Clark of Seatown Garden
Kerry Errickson Protector of Seatown, beloved husband of Lauryl Dudeman
Lören Darksbaine of Karnon Forest
Michelle Stuart of Cantr City

Oasis wrote:Mikhael Lightfoot, a wanna be jeweller of Drojf

I had a character that interacted with this character...it was a pleasure playing the game with him and I wish you the best in finding what you need. I was just reading an article on people and how they have to separate themselves from their parents emotionally at times to find their own identity....perhaps this is what you deemed dysfunctional but it was only part of the growing process. My prayers are with you.

Sarah

Thank you all so much for responding. I appreciate the well-wishes, and the list of characters. I hope to hear more about your impressions of Ryan/Claivuus, good or bad...not everyone can be good ALL the time!

Unfortunately, ours was a dysfunctional relationship. My son did not live with me from the ages 5-16, and when we tried to go from a brother/sister-type relationship to a parent/child one, it didn't work out so well. He leaves behind 2 brothers and a little sister, who will appreciate hearing about him from his friends.

Mum

Things like this often leave an unreal feeling, and doubt, can we really believe that you are his mom, was he really who you say he was, is he really dead - or did this person ever even exist. In this case he was posting so actively that it's pretty sure there was a real person, not a role someone was pulling. And PD probably knows if his account name said Ryan. From Netty's reaction I'd guess that it did. And you sound real, Ryan's mom. Though I'm sure it has happened sometimes that someone in school decides to pull a prank and goes telling someone is dead on a site they don't visit anymore. I don't want to sound offending, the Internet just happens to be trust no one land.

Many times I've imagined this sort of a scenario of what would happen if I died. Would my mom ever figure out my passwords, things like that.

Oasis wrote:Kerry Errickson Protector of Seatown, beloved husband of Lauryl Dudeman

Hello Ma'am,

Ryan's character Kerry and my character Farrah had a very close relationship. It would have been 2 years in August that we have been playing together. His character's body still lays there in his and Lauryl's home. This is very sad news. Through his character he seemed to be a great person. I would have been delighted to meet him. I only had a chance to speak to him a few times in messenger before his character died. My prayers go out to you and your family.

Rachel

I'm sorry to hear of your loss.

I interacted with many of those characters, especially Lören Darksbaine, and Ryan was an asset to the game community. He will be missed.

I knew Ryan very well! This comes as a total shock to me. While i knew he had many hospital visits last year he always came out. Is that what happened, the same kind of thing only a different end? I really want to know what happened if you could tell me please.

Ryan told me about you some, and about the friends he had been living with the different times. He didn't go in real depth about his family life but he told me what he felt like talking about or what was bothering him at the time. I saw a great many sides of his personality.

I knew a bunch of his characters. Infact the first time he signed up, we had joined the game within days of one another, so I was one of the early ones he met through the game. I don't know if you got to his yahoo list or his email yet but you will probably find traces there as well.

I am still in shock, please talk to me and tell me more of what you can.

You have my sincere regards, Ryan is definitely already missed.

Sharon

SekoECT: I understand your skepticism, and it is generally a good idea to question everything you read on the Internet. I feel the same way about newspapers. It would be a cruel thing indeed, to prank a death. I wish it were not true, because as a parent, it is devastating to outlive a child. Also as a parent, I'd like to ask you to make a list or file of your favourite websistes, email addresses, and chatrooms, and their passwords for the reason you describe: it has been impossible to get into Ryan's accounts because the administrators don't believe me despite offering to fax his death certificate. All I want are his contact lists, so I can inform his world-wide friends of his passing. Here at cantr, I actually went through the member directory until I found his email address. I knew that no matter what, he was ALWAYS honest on the Internet about his age and location, so it wasn't difficult to find him.

Sparkle and West: I read some of the forums in which Ryan had posted, and both your names came up frequently. From what I read, he enjoyed and appreciated your humour. Thank you for your comments.

SierraBreez: Ryan was diagnosed with Diabetes at age 3, so dealt with it for 17 years. Yes, he was hospitalized many times in the last year, 10 that I know of. Each time was a direct result of not taking his insulin. His recovery each time was remarkable, and our family doctor confessed afterwards that lived 6 months beyond medical expectations. Chronically high blood sugars causes acids to flow through the bloodstream, and prolonged acids poison every cell in the body. Despite surviving weeks-long insulin neglect earlier in the year, the last time he missed only a few days it was just too much for his body, and he just shut down. He was in a transition home, and the House Mum had tried to get him to the hospital the evening of Sun Dec 11, but he refused, saying he was just tired. He went to bed, fell asleep, slipped into a coma, and just drifted off painlessly and unaware. The House Mum found him at 8:00 AM, when he didn't get up with his alarm.

I and my family were very surprised that he was still neglecting his health. In November, there was a family gathering after the death of my Grandfather, and Ryan was very vibrant, happy, energetic, and had color in his cheeks for the first time in 2 years. We had plans to travel to visit my parents for Christmas, and he was very excited to be going, to see old friends, to have Christmas with his sister. He had gone back to school, and seemed committed to graduating and getting into University. The last time I saw him, we were sitting in my living room with my parents, and he and I were telling my folks about the TV show "Kenny vs Spenny" and how stupid it is. We were sitting shoulder to shoulder on the couch, laughing about the one episode we had each seen while my parents looked at us like we were both crazy teenagers.

Sierra, you also said "the first time he signed up"... does that mean he had/has another account/nick here? As I said above, I have been unable to access Ryan's email accounts as I have no passwords. He tended to use a lot of obscure consonant combinations that meant something only to him, such as his Yahoo ID: tbrncrzr... What does it mean? does anybody know? I asked him once if it meant "to be Ryan; not crazier", and he replied, "if you want it to."

I have been trying to post a photo of him, but they are all too big. I will try to resize some, see if that works.

Thanks again for your comments and condolences. It is comforting to connect with others who interacted with Ryan.

Mum

I thought it had to do with his diabetes but i couldn't be sure. He never mentioned the fact that he had forgotten to take his insulin, just that it was cause of his blood sugar. I called him while he was in the hospital a couple of times. I know one of his disappearances was due to a run in with a car. That is actually how he lost his account. See at cantr if your account isn't set to vacation, after a period of time your account will idle out and you lose your characters. So after he got hit by the car and was gone for awhile he lost that account and he signed up for another one with the same name later. He lost interest in it after awhile and just let that one idle out.

As for his yahoo name, i believe he said it stood for some organization in cantr, but i cannot remember for sure. I was not apart of that. I think people who had chars in the Karnon area might know.

I don't know any of his passwords, but knew of the yahoo name and a few email names. Last i knew he had a gf named Lauren too, but that i don't know how it went or if she was far away too. If you find any of his paper letters or an index card that says Sharon H... on it, that is me. I know i mailed him some stuff once wishing him well and to help keep his spirits up.

I had a couple pics of him on my comp but i can't find them at the moment, i will keep looking though. He probably named them something strange too.

His old roomates might know of some more websites and people that he talked to if you haven't already talked to them. I think one of them briefly had joined cantr too. Geoff i think the one was called. I think i spoke to one of them briefly too, when Ryan was sharing some of the funny stuff i had sent him. They were all peering over his shoulder.

I would love to talk to you more. If you want my email or yahoo screenname just let me know.

Sharon

If it was to do with a cantr organisation and it began with tbr, then it may have been to do with the tbr (The Black Rock clan)

that's not inconceivable. Tribe Blackrock (TBR) began in late august 2003 real-world time; depending on how long he's had that email address it's certainly a possibility.

Firstly, I'm sorry for what has happened, and the fact that a fellow player is gone is really a shock to me. Makes me wonder if people here would know, if I died.

I am the player who created TBR, and I have unfortunately not heard of any of his characters. But potentially he had another account, as SierraBreeze suggested. I'd be interested in seeing that character list, because if he liked (or hated) tbr enough to lend it's name to his yahoo sign in, we probably had more time playing together than with the list of characters you posted.

Me again,

I just remembered something Mom. You should talk to Tonna. I wish I had remembered to tell everyone sooner that my yim had changed cause she yimed me since the 7th about his death. I believe they were pretty close. I played with him in the game for a long time before I knew someone knew him outside of the game. I got his yahoo id from her. I told her to respond when she gets a chance, but she has trouble with the internet now a days. She use to talk to him on the phone quite often.

Also he and I had alot of personal conversations that I was delighted to find archive. I'll email them to you if you'd like. He mentioned you a few times and who he lived with and all, but we can discuss that in yim or through email if you'd prefer.

In loving regards,

Rachel

(Edit: Oh yes! It's just all coming back to me... He was addicted to pool. I believe it was on yahoo. You should check there for friends that he had. I'm sure he was known well there.)

(Edit again: Yes it was yahoo. He gave me a link)

(Edit one more time...sorry. I just remembered you and Tonna use to talk so that defeats the first part of my statement. I meant well. )