Cantr II Discussion Forum

A friend of mine recently got his heart broken...and it's hitting him hard. He asks for help, but every time I try, he throws it back in my face. He got angry today and decided he was going to go drive, when he'd already driven home at 100 mph the entire time...he decided he was going to go drive some more...and there's big dust and wind storms going on lately. THey closed the highway today, because of it. I was worried he was going to do something stupid, and get himself hurt, or possibly killed. Iwas scared, and I had no way of getting ahold of him until I could get home, almost 4 hours later. I call him, and apparently he'd been spending a lot of time at a friend's house. I asked him where he was, and if he was in a better mood, etc..and he says "Yeah, sorry..." But he didn't sound much like he meant it...it was kinda half-@$$ed. THEN I told him he scared me, and I was worried and he says 'Yeah...look, I gotta go" So I just said whatever and hung up. Gah!! He's driving me up the freaking wall!! I swear I wanna hurt him right now. >_<

Awww

Some people don't like others to feel sympathy for them... Try ignoring him for a while, or just call him as if he was perfectly fine, and see if he changes.

No, that's the problem. If I don't show sympathy, he says I don't care.

It's the classic male "feel for sorry for me but I don't want to show you I like it" routine.

Dee's right in my opinion. Ignore the guy. When he says "you don't care about me", tell him he's acting like an ass and that you don't want to be part of it.

Tell him to call you back when he's dealt with his heart brokeness like a man. It sounds harsh, but he's going to continue to try "display behavior" like driving 100mph until you show him that you're not impressed with it. He's trying to impress you for some reason so tell him flat out that you'll be impressed with him when he deals with his situation in a mature manner.

My 2 cents.

It's very common that a person who has been hurt, and is angry because of that will lash out at themselves and those around them.
Anger needs a place to go, and, as most people find it difficult to deal with, they end up 'taking it out' on themselves and those around them, usually without realising it, or without understanding it.

Trying to guilt trip you by saying you don't care is unfair, forcing you to be part of it via a guilt-trip.

Be harsh (the cruel to be kind maxim may be a cliche, but it still holds true) let him know he is upsetting you, and make it clear that you do care, but tell him that you won't accept his behaviour, or be part of it, or allow him to force you to take notice by claiming you don't care.

Give him the space he needs to be a prick, some people need that as part of the healing process, let him know you'll be there when he can be more reasonable.

EDIT: At least, that's what my friends did when I was in the 'prick' stage - I can look back at it and laugh now...

If you want to hurt him, do it. Live life to the fullest, I say.

But do it right. You'll have to hurt him badly enough so that he can't hurt you back. You wouldn't want to make him angry and have him turn on you. Might ruin your friendship. I'd drug him and then smash his head in with a brick or something. But that's just my advice.

Yeah...that's really gonna help, Schme...hehe
Anyways, thanks for all the advice guys...I really don't know what I'm gonna do right now, but I'll kinda...just do whatever feels right, I suppose...again, thanks for the help.

I never said it would help, did I now?

And besides, if you're not angry enough to viciously attack someone from behind with a weapon while they're not expecting it, then you're not really angry.

I never said I wouldn't attack him, Schme..I've actually come close quite a few times, only to be held back by three or four people at a time...*sigh*

See, that's the problem. Not only are they hindering your attack by holding you back, they might alert him and you'd lose the element of surprise. Furthermore, they'd be witnesses when the police came around, and if you ask me, witnesses to crimes one has commited but does not want to be convicted for are an awful nusance.

This is all very simple. Hire an assassin.

Like me.

But then she'd have to kill you, too, to tie up the loose ends. That would defeat the purpose. Best to be more direct about it.