Cantr II Discussion Forum

I have proof that Santa Claus is really the Jolly Green Giant!

For those of you "out of town" (furriners), The jolly green giant is a product mascot for some frozen vegitable company here in the US. That's important to the conspiricy.

First point: You never see Santa and the Jolly Green Giant in the same place at the same time. I'd love to see any photographic evidence to the contrary.

Second point: The Jolly Green Giant has a "little helper" He's short, has pointy ear, and wears all green clothing... Like an elf, perhaps? His name is Sprout, and he's all green, but that can be done with makeup.

Final Point: They both say Ho Ho Ho.

Theory (truth): The "Jolly Green Giant" spends 364 days out of the year makinf children eat their vegies. Guilt and hate mail pile up. One day out of the year (X-mas), The Giant goes on a trip of attonement to make up for the parent/child conflicts he has sparked over the last year. He dons a red (color opposite of green...) outfit and spends the night giving toys to children for being good (bribes to eat veggies). Enablers leave out milk and cookies for guilt eating reflex.

You know it all sounds too good not to be true.

Your explanation of JGG actually ties in with your other point, which is that they are both corporate tools used to sell PRODUCT PRODUCT PRODUCT!!! Clearly, they are simply two faces of the same beast-- Jolly Green Giant is the yin to Santa Claus's yang.

That's kind of... creepy.

Not just frozen foods. Canned too.

What ever. The point is he sells frozen vegies and has a guilt complex and eating disorder.

Poor Agar...his joke was dissected instead of laughed at.

Although I think I have seen some similar argument elsewhere it made me smile

Pirog wrote::lol:

Poor Agar...his joke was dissected instead of laughed at.

Although I think I have seen some similar argument elsewhere it made me smile

Who said it was a joke? And maybe I like it getting dissected, it helps prove it's validity.

The funniest part of this to me is there are 3 santa clauses playing cantr.

either that or santa claus has 3 forum accounts and should be reported to the PD.

Maybe the other ones are an elf and Rudolf, but both now suffer from delusions of grandure.