Cantr II Discussion Forum

He needs a place where no one goes,
Where no one knows.
To find the space to free his mind,
Open up his heart and unwind.
Close the door and not look behind,
Hidde in a place hard to find.
To let out the feelings which have defined,
His life for over a week,
All his emotions have gone blind.


It makes him feel just a little bit better,
His hearts telling him to get her,
His minds telling him to forget her.
Like a rainy day, but getting wetter.
She loved him,
He never knew,
One day they will pass away,
Knowing that every day,
Seeing each other but not being able to say,
The three words that they could not find.


I would try to believe,
But think the feelings were put on to deceive,
To a place she goes,
To find a key of which she knows.
Frantically she searches, but to no avail,
A disgruntled sigh followed by a saddening wail,
The chance is gone,
For the time she waited was far too long.
The door in which a beloved decides to reside,
For eternity his feelings will hide






Yeah, so, I got bored, wrote this song or something of the sort. It's not finished or anything, well, I dont feel it's finished. I'd just like some input. Dont fear of critisizing me, well, I know you wouldn't anyway, you mean Cantr players will probably rip me apart anyway.

Anyway, any posts would be good. Thanks.

Yeah its pretty good Ash.

Hey, I have a question, do you play Torn City with the same name?

My favourite line is:

Like a rainy day, but getting wetter

Nice, Ash!

notsure

Sounds good to me, Ash. Usually the extent of my poetry ends up being some variation of Roses are red, Violets are blue.

Very good work, sire. I would take off the lines "the future, the future looking bleak" and "I love you". And, also, I would change the line "hide the key in a place hard to find" to "hidden in a place too hard to find".

BUT.... that is just me. I am always appreciative of fellow poets and songwriters, or artists of any kind really.

Elros:

Thanks. And no I do not play Cantr anymore.

notsure:

Yeah, I like that line too! Thanks


HoH:

Thanks! My inspiration was my iPod, each part sounds like lyrics from some songs, but not all. I find music a good inspiration. But personal experience is good too!


Solutions Maximus:

Thanks, and yeah your right, they're not very fitting at the moment. But I will revise and see what I can fix together.

It's rappable, that's for sure. For I tried saying it in rhythm of Linkin Park's Hands Held High from Minutes to Midnight. It sounds so much cooler that way, though I do have to make some of the lines stretch to two measures. Awesome poem, overall.

jeah, pretty good.
You should write music with it!