Abstinence

[SekoETC]

If you get aroused by someone's presense, isn't it quite safe to think that it will most likely be the same even when you finally take your clothes off? Even if the person didn't have the world's greatest body, you get used to it and no one is going to look exactly charming when they get old, anyway. No person is great at sex on first attempt, most people just happen to have a practice bf/gf before meeting the person they want to spend the rest of their life with.

And I'm pretty sure most people who support abstinance also choose a partner that shares their moral views. If someone has been sleeping around in the past then they're more likely to cheat in a relationship as well. (An assumption, not a scientific fact.) If a person has waited for several years to find the right partner then they're not going to give up on the first sign of trouble. And if you have a partner who cums prematurely, doesn't that only go to prove that you're so hot they just can't hold themselves back? Doesn't that make you feel flattered? While impotense is usually considered a sign of some sort of a problem, it could be psychological. I must admit I find it pitiful when seeing that a man cannot hold their erection (in porn movies, I've never run into it irl), but there are other ways of having sex than plain grinding.

[Dee]

Aww, lighten up, Pie, you know I love ya.

And Dee, I'm going to play the devil's advocate and say "how do you know it's your best if you've never tried it out before?"



I know, I know, I'm going to Hell.

HoH said it best, but I just don't care about sex all that much. Well, of course it is important, but not the most important thing. If the guy's really good and his personality is the best in the world, then him not being good at sex does not really matter all that much. Better than having a husband that's really good at sex but cheats on me and does not love me.

Besides, who said I never tried it out before? Okay, just kidding. (Or not)

[Antichrist_Online]

I sorta agree with Dee here. Personallity is way more important as unlike looks it doesn't get worse over time. Besides, you can learn to be better in bed, you can't learn how not to be an asshole.

My opinion overall is, if you don't want sex, good for you, don't have it. If you do, do it safely and find out as much as possible. Either way, don't bitch to others about thier choices, offer advice on how if asked though...

Oh and Abstinance only education is total shit. What we had at the Catholic School I went to was a case of "Abstinance is the best protection against unwanted pregnacy and STDs, but if you're not abstaining, atleast know how to protect yourself as best you can."

[the_antisocial_hermit]

Besides, you can learn to be better in bed, you can't learn how not to be an asshole.

I agree.

[Schme]

I agree with hEarty. Casual sex is really, in the end, not a great thing. I don’t find, at least. I’ve done all that, and in the end, it only ends up that someone’s been hurt or exploited. I’ve seen all that. It’s no good. And she’s right, too. There’s no one love or whatever. Love is created in our minds. I can make a girl love me if I try at it. Not any girl, but when I get my foot in the door, I can usually manage it. Love comes and goes.

And sex is important. Very important. I could never imagine being with someone without having sex with them. Perhaps I’m selfish or off somehow, but that’s just how it is.

And children these days will end up having sex. There’s not much to avoid it. You just have to make sure they’re having sex with the right people, and not being exploited. It’s so very easy to exploit people. Ludicrously easy. Young people, not even just young people, can be so naïve, or can be influenced. It’s so, so easy. You’ve no idea.

And she’s full right, too. You really have to talk to your kids about sex. Don’t gloat, or whatever. But for real, educate them. And try and impart your values on them, even if they don’t follow them. Also, keep them away from people who are no good. And I’ll be frank here, I’m not really talking about talking to your boys. It’s the girls have to be kept safe.

You should really educate your children, though. By the time my parents went to talk to me, there was nothing they could say. Only advice I ever really got from them was from my father. It was “For the love of God, use a condom.” Good advice, but all the same.

Make sure your kids aren’t being exploited.




But as for having sex before marriage, spiritual bonds, all that sort of thing. I’ve fond, myself, that it has been good for me, in what I’m up too, to have a lot of experience. Check, I have never, as far as I can think of, had a relationship that I’ve had a “Spiritual bond” so strong that I’d continue it without having sex. I honestly can’t. And like SekoETC says, you have to learn. I’ve found, for myself, that it really helps to know. Check, right, when I was first with someone, I was so bad that it was bad for both of us. It really was pathetic. I actually went limp, a few times. It was godawful. And I was fucked out of my mind, and I don’t mean having sex. But I’ve learned a lot and gotten better. Now I enter into relationships with more experience, know what I’m doing. Even if they don’t, I can make things work. I have found that for me, that is a good thing. I suppose if someone planned to spend the rest of their life with a person, they’d could be stay together and work through their problems…But I can’t really imagine hooking up with someone for good who I’d never had sex with. I don’t know.

For me, it’s been a good thing. For many of the women I’ve been with, I suppose not.

Fuck, I don't know.

[west]

AAAA++++++ POST WOULD READ AGAIN

[Schme]

Thanks.

[Spillages]

Update: Still waiting happily 8-)

[Antichrist_Online]

We don't care

[Spillages]

We don't care :P

First off, that's pretty rude, and I'm pretty proud of it so I couldn't give a shit if you cared or not.

[Tangential]

=) if it counts for anything, I'm proud of you, Spillages.

I'll add some input on this, I guess. Is it worth waiting until marriage? That's arbitrary and up to the individual's own preference and moral values. For me, the question is different; it becomes "what does it mean to have sex?" Sex before marriage means, for me, that I'm committed already and ready for possible marriage. It's an unspoken proposal (of what marriage represents) in my mind in which two people consent to further the relationship more intimately. Marriage then becomes the finalized stage. Sex after marriage would then mean that the commitment has already been finalized through proposals that didn't need the intimacy of sex. So then it becomes a question of how connected and committed you are with your partner.

So, with different people are different values. Setting the "sex only after marriage" moral value in stone is not for me. It becomes too rigid on how to adapt to different circumstances and people, in my opinion. I'd be more assured of my decisions if I left my choices open to guide my judgments. I can wait or I can not wait, but that all depends on my current situation and the level of connection with my partner.

[Zanthos]

the only problem with that train of thought, tangential, is that your partner might not see it the same way as you. sure, they might like you, but while you may view intercourse with the person as something special, they might think of it as 'just sex'

[Tangential]

it's not a problem.. it's a preference. People are bound to have different thought processes - that's what makes people so diverse. Whether you choose to accept these differences of your partner is up to the individual.

My thought process has no right nor has no wrong. They are just my values. Also, I wouldn't be with someone who thinks of it as "just sex"; that's why it's my own preferences and my own values. If I were to accept it as "just sex", then it would mean to me that loyalty has no bearings on sexual intercourse. So if I were to be with someone who felt that sex was just sex, I'd be setting myself up for disappointment in the future.

[SekoETC]

A lot of guys are ready to say "I love you" and not really mean it. What they really mean is "I love to get laid". You can bet your sorry ass that if you give on first date, you won't be seeing the guy again. Girls who see themselves as ugly and unpopular are ready to do anything to keep a guy that calls them beautiful or promises a relationship. Because the society is such that if a young woman doesn't have a boyfriend, there must be something wrong with her. Girls try to make an impression to get a guy addicted to them, but the result is the guy getting a good fuck while the girl is left unsatisfied, and then the guy moves on to fuck other girls because it's in his genes. So if a girl wants something, she needs to leave the guy hanging until he's so much in need that he would do anything for her. Although if there is a wide market then the guy might just move on and get with one or several of the easy girls.

[Antichrist_Online]

Seko, you're generalising a hell of a lot there. Alot of guys don't know what they feel, because of various issues they don't learn until too late the difference between real love and just wanting someone. Just because some guys tend to be assholes doesn't mean we all are, nor does it mean all girls should play hard to get and turn away someone who might actually give a damn about them, but can't put up with constant rejection from someone they care about. Also just because a girl is quick to make a move, doesn't make the relationship any less than one where they take their time, the same factors are there, all holding out does is make the assholes wait longer and the good guys will just be the same, there will be a right time and other pressures are irrelevent.