Thought or Rant of the day!!!

[Vega]

5 am is even worst...
I go to bed at 2 am... Wake up at 9:30.
But I'm not working now. I only go to the languages school...
And no. I'm not a morning person...

[Armulus Satchula]

I fall asleep around 2 am. Wake up at 8:15-8:30. Work starts at 8:30. I show up about 45 minutes late everyday.

[Rebma]

I have different start times. But I generally wake up 30 mins before I have to be somewhere in the winter (enough time to get up, get dressed, brush hair and teeth, clean snow off car, drive to whereever I need to go while checking voicemail on the way). Unless its a bad storm I know about, then I wake up 45 mins before.

In summer/spring/fall I tend to wake up 15 minutes before I need to be somewhere and do everything but the snow thing of course.

Sometimes I wake up an hour early, and get dressed and everything, then crawl back into bed until its time to leave. Generally work starts at 6, 7, and 8 am or noon depending on the days. I go to bed anywhere from 9:30-4am.

[Vega]

I need those 30-45 minutes to arrive to the center of the city by bus... An hour to the languages school. I've told the teacher that I'll arrive late always. Bus arrives 15 min after the begining of the class and I refuse to take a bus before.

[SumBum]

I hate filing taxes. I'm now arguing with TurboTax to get a $30 refund from them charging me for something I didn't even want. (luckily, it looks like they're going to refund it but what a pita)

[phoenixannwn]

My bipolar has taken a serious dip into a low space, and the worst thing about these things is that I never see them coming. I just get more mean, darker, and more self destructive, and I don't realize until about halfway through.
Moreover, I've definitely noticed this has seeped into my characters.
I'll not give details, but two of them are very unhappy campers at the moment and another two might not make it till their next birthday.

It's kinda of hard to think right now.

I know EXACTLY how you feel. II'm trying hard to offer a word or two of comfort, but failing. All I can say is, you know that's not gonna last forever. Try to go through it as best as you can, one day at a time (it feels more like one breath at a time, I know), and take it easy (No, it's not easy for me to say). We, like a lot of people (and I am taking the liberty to say "we" but I know it is rightly used) are here/there for you. Good luck and feel better soon. Lots of hugs.

Thanks Chroma. The pink and purple letters just made my day, actually. ^.^,
And I spent yesterday at the BF's, and I'll tell you, when you're dealing with the down side of bipolar, there's nothing like someone who just understands to make it so much easier. When you're being a grouchy, unreasonable bitch, it takes a very strong person to just say, "I'm sorry, babe, I love you." and not get mad, and not turn it into a fight. He actually somehow managed to deal with me so well, before the night was over I was being nice, doting on him, and being 'sweet' (his words, not mine). And now I just want to hug everyone and smile and stuff. So *hugs* :]

[mikki]

I haven't posted anything in a while.. soo.. here goes it.

I have mentioned before how my ex and I are still living together.. well I finally get used to the fact that he isn't around anymore.. and what does he do.. he goes and gets sick.. Now understand that I am talking about over a week ago.. Thursday a week ago to be exact. He came home from a friends, got sick in the living room friday morning while I was at work.. yeah.. came home to a mess on my rug.. boy was I pissed... anyways.. I hear groaning from the bedroom when I get home for my mid day break.. not the fun kind.. He has somehow injured his back when he got sick.. Who gets stuck taking care of him? The one with the caring heart.

Anyways.. that saturday he goes to the hospital cause he is sick and his back is causing him extreme amounts of pain. They give him pain meds *Which didn't work* he goes back on Sunday and they give him different pain pills *which don't work* Monday thru friday I get up at 5 am for work... get home at 10 for mid day *which... I normally play cantr until it is time for work* What do I listen to.. I listen to baby.. come help me.. rub my back.. yelling screaming cause he's in pain.. course when I'm getting yelled at I yell back cause well I know you're in pain but don't treat me like crap seeing how I'm the -only- one here helping you.. where are all these friends of yours? Sure as hell not here.. I go back to work.. then come home to the same.

So.. with this pain he can't lay down, can't sit up cant do anything without assistance and on top of this.. he hadn't used the restroom.. oh and his legs were going numb. Friday night I was fed up. I took him to the emergency room.. I think he drove the ER people insane with his constant b****ing. They did an MRI which he couldn't sit still for, so they did a CT. They tell him he has a ruptured disk and that they wanted to keep him overnight.. which of course changed to transferring him to another hospital cause their spine surgeon was not on call.. well then at 2 am that -also- changed to him being given steriods and very strong pain pills and sent home.. GEE THANKS!

The weekend was a little better cause I kept him drugged on his meds. Monday I have to miss an hour of work.. *which doesn't seem like much but when you have bills to pay and 3 kids to take care of.. an hour is needed* I take him to the spine specialist to be told that he doesn't have a ruptured disk at all.. he must have pulled some muscles and they were having issues with relaxing. I bring him home.. he gets in his truck and goes back to his friends house.. WTF.. All of a sudden you don't have to have surgery on your back and WOOHOO lets go to the friends house.. ya know.. the ones that DIDNT take care of you this past week.. He showed up for his pain meds.. thought it was alright to sleep next to me in the bed.. grrrrr.. woke me up numerous times cause he couldn't get comfortable. Oh did I mention that he can't move again? Course this comes after I told him off.

This whole week I have heard.. baby this.. I love you baby.. *when his depression hit him* What are -we- gonna do if I can't work.. I have worked sooo hard for everything -I- have and it is falling apart at my feet.. Uhm.. I have been with your a** for the past 4 years for you to tell me at the beginning of the year you don't want to be with me anymore.. and -you- are complaining about all the hard work -you- put in to everything. STFU I am the reason you have your own damn business, everything -you- have is because of -me- so FU!

Ok.. I'm done now.

[Vega]

And now I just want to hug everyone and smile and stuff. So *hugs* :]

*Hugs her*
*Looks at Mikki* Phoenixannwn is giving free hugs. Maybe you must came...

[Misato]

On another note...still haven't had surgery yet...have an appointment with a surgeon tomorrow (where I'll probably be told what to expect before/during/after surgery and sent home because it would just be my luck). I have virtually no appetite lately, and have to force myself to eat even a little, and I'm so freakin hungry! My stomach usually only hurts for about an hour just after I wake up, but I feel bloated and uncomfortable all day...like a stuffed turkey...and not in that 'omg, I ate so much I'm pleasantly fat' way...

I've been seriously considering eating lots of everything I'm not suppose to just to induce an attack so they have to fix me! But I won't...however strong the temptation may be... >.>

Okay, so I went to the hospital today to talk to a surgeon...and he doesn't think I have a stone stuck in the bile duct, so he's re-doing all of the blood tests for my liver. He said the normal range of liver enzymes is 100-200 and mine are 1000+, so he's worried about doing surgery if something's not right with my liver. I have another appt in 2 weeks. Depending on the blood work, he might want a biopsy. Fun. *sigh*

[phoenixannwn]

Mikki, girl, you need to tell him just to GTFO. He's an ass (from what you've said) and needs to learn there are consequences for his behavior. Focus on you.
*hugs Mikki*

[Chroma Key]

Yay, another free hugs day!
*Hugs Mikki, Misato and Phoenix and anyone else who needs or simply wants a hug*

@ Phoenix: Pink and purple, just spot on, aren't they? Great news about the boyfriend, I am really happy for you.

On a different note... Can't wait till Friday. Hopefully will have some much wanted good news. Fingers crossed!

[mikki]

*returns all the hugs*

@Phoenix - problem with telling him to GTFO is that the landlord wants him to stay in the house since he can 'work' off the rent.. being a contractor has its perks.. Well let me rephrase.. he can work off the rent if he wasn't in so much pain. He will have one good day then several bad days when referencing pain. *sighs* What a very tiresome week and a half it has been.

[Indigo]

@mikki: Send him to me. I'm a massagist and I can take his pain away... in the most painful way

@people who is having a hard time: My thoughts are with you, but remember to look at the bright side of life. When you are in the darkest place, it helps. Believe me. -I- do know it.

[gejyspa]

First day back at the office instead of working from home as I've been the past few days while inhaling plaster dust, and getting a headache from the sound of plumber's tools. But now I have to actually work instead of goofing off.....not sure which was the better trade off.

Also, last night, my wife attened the play, and it was filmed for posterity. Still screwing up my lines (although, I was told, not noticeably by those not already aware of how they should sound), and we have to have another rehearsal Thursday night because our "energy level was low" (must have been in the half of the play that I'm not in But seriously, this play is so long and talky, it's hard to infuse it with enough energy for a 21st c. audience) . My pay was cut in half...

Two more performances to go.

[Armulus Satchula]

I can't imagine how hard it would be to remember lines for an entire play. I think movie actors have it way easier. They get multiple takes and only need to know their lines for the current scene. Some actors like Robin Williams just make up half of the script as they go.
To actually have to do an entire scene in one shot and remember everything, that's tough.