I got some more for you since others are slacking now
must be becaus of the spring break and easter lol
An American is having his coffee, when a Canadian man, chewing gum, sits down next to
him.
The American ignores the Canadian who, nevertheless, starts
a conversation.
Canadian: "You American folk eat the whole bread?"
American (in a bad mood): "Of course."
Canadian: (after blowing a huge bubble)"We don't. In Canada,
we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container,
recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to
America." The Canadian has a smirk on his face.
The American listens in silence.
The Canadian persists: "Do you eat jelly with the bread??"
American: "Of Course."
Canadian: (cracking his gum between his teeth and chuckling).
"We don't. In Canada we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then
we put all the peels, seeds,and left overs in containers,
recycle them, transform them into jam and sell the jam to
America."
The American then asks: "Do you have sex in Canada?"
Canadian: "Why of course we do", the Canadian says with a big
smirk.
American: "And what do you do with the condoms once you've
used them?"
Canadian: "We throw them away, of course."
American: "We don't. In America, we put them in a container,
recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them
to Canada
Bumper Stickers I've seen
Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
Do they ever shut up on your planet?
Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.
You? Off my planet?
I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be...?
Does your train of thought have a caboose?
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
Don't bother me. I'm living happily every after.
Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
If you smoke after sex, your doing it too fast.
We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.
Born free... taxed to death.
The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
A cat almost always blinks when hit in the head with a ball peen hammer.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute!
Anyone can give up smoking, but it takes a real man to face cancer.
If, a two letter word for futility
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
To all you virgins, thanks for nothing.
DR. SEUSS EXPLAINS COMPUTERS
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is
interrupted as a very last resort, and the address of the memory makes
your floppy disk abort, then the socket packet pocket has an error to
report.
If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, and the
double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash, and your data is
corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash, then your situation's hopeless
and your system's gonna crash!
If the label on the cable on the table at your house, says the network is
connected to the button on your mouse, but your packets want to tunnel on
another protocol, that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the
hall, and your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss, so
your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse, then you may as well
reboot and go out with a bang, 'cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's
gonna hang!
When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk, and the
microcode instructions cause unnecessary risk, then you have to flash
your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM. Quickly turn off the
computer and be sure to tell your mom.
You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
