By request, logs of Pirate Radio.
Pirate Radio #1 wrote:"*a brash female voice with a thick Cockney accent* Is this thing workin'? *the sound of someone tapping loudly on the radio, followed by an ear-bleeding feedback screech* Ah, sod it. *a throat clearing loudly*”
"Arrrr, listen up, ye landlubbin' wankers! It's time fer today's episode o' Pirate Radio! This 'ere's yer friendly 'ost, the Dread Pirate Halifax o' the Wo'ever, sometimes known as Lyra the Liar! I'm broadcastin' from the lovely seaside town of...well, never ya mind that. But the weather 'ere's just smashin', nary a cloud in the sky and a good strong sea wind. Who knows where it'll take us next?”
"Anyway, today's episode is about...sea shanties! Sea shanties are an important part o' sailor culture, ya know, and that goes fer pirates too. They 'elp ta keep the rhythm when doin' 'ard labor aboard a ship, like haulin' sail or weighin' anchor. Sea shanties are often adapted from popular shorebound songs an' adjusted ta keep pace with the labor. 'Ere's one I wrote meself! I call it "Girls from Puk”."
"*a cheerful song played badly on a creaky old fiddle, then some truly abominable singing*”
"Girls from Puk ain't got no style / Their clothes are black an' they don't smile"
"['Eave 'ard, me lads, 'eave 'ard!]”
"Girls from Puk ain't got no manners / They drive newspawns ta pirate banners”
"['Eave 'ard, me lads, all together!]”
"Girls from Puk ain't got no grapes / Ya try ta buy 'em an' just get japes”
"[Loose sail, me lads, loose sail!]”
"Girls from Puk ain't got no jewels / They got robbed fer their stupid rules”
"[Loose sail, me lads, all together!]”
"So 'eave away, me bully, bully boys / 'Eave 'er up and don't ya eat no grapes / And we're bound away fer Treefeather!”
"*more artless twanging on the fiddle*”
"Well, I hope ya landlubbers enjoyed this special broadcast. This 'as been the Dread Pirate Halifax with Pirate Radio. See ya next time, mateys!"
Pirate Radio #2 wrote:"*a brash female voice* ‘Allo there, mateys! It’s time fer today’s episode o’ Pirate Radio! *the sound of someone doing a drumroll on the radio case* This ‘ere’s yer ‘ost, the Dread Pirate Lyra Halifax o’ the Wo’ever! "
"Today’s episode is dedicated to a fellow called Randy o’ Klojt, an’ we’re talkin' about…survival tips! Gettin’ abducted by pirates is a right delicate situation callin’ fer the most particular etiquette, an’ I’ve taken it upon meself ta clue in all ye gormless landlubbers so ya don’t cock it up.”
"Tip #1: Entertain ‘em! Ain’t nobody pirates fer the wealth, really, or nobody worth their salt. Bein’ a pirate is about conflict! It’s about drama! It’s about meetin’ new friends an’ carryin’ yerself with style! The more ya ‘umor yer captors and entertain ‘em, the more likely they are ta take mercy on yer sorry arse.”
"Tip #2: Cooperate! If they ask fer yer keys an’ wotnot, don’t faff about, ‘and ‘em over promptly! Otherwise ye’ll ‘ave ‘em beaten outta ya.”
"Tip #3: Don't give ‘em a reason ta kill ya. If a pirate lets ya go instead o’ slittin’ yer throat and tossin’ ya overboard, thank yer lucky stars and go about yer day. If yer gonna send out a radio broadcast cryin’ about how yer stuff was nicked, at least wait till yer beyond the reach o’ their retribution, or yer proper daft. “
"Tip #4: Don’t be an entitled tit. Once yer captured by pirates, ya ain’t got no rights nor property nor nothin’. Consider yer life forfeit an’ act accordingly, as a proper attitude is essential fer securin’ yer release. My personal recommendation is beggin’ and grovelin’, maybe wif a side o’ blubberin’.”
"That’s it fer tips. An’ wif that outta the way, let’s get ta today’s sea shanty! I ‘ope ya bonnie lads an’ lassies enjoy it!”
"*an artlessly played song on a fiddle that has clearly not been tuned in far too long, then some equally tuneless singing, though perhaps bellowing is a more appropriate description*”
"♫ When Wo’ever’s keel was laid / They knew ‘er fate was pirate's raid / [Roll, Wo’ever, roll!] ♫”
"♫ She was built in Dorian / An’ ‘er cargo's vice an’ sin / [Oh roll, Wo’ever, roll!] ♫”
"♫ ‘Er pirates sail the wide blue seas / Ta ravage towns like a disease / [Roll, Wo’ever, roll!] ♫”
"♫ Their crossbows fire quick and sure / ‘Specially if yer a boor / [Oh roll, Wo’ever, roll!] ♫”
"♫ Pirates hurt an’ pirates steal / Piss ‘em off, they’ll make ya squeal / [Roll, Wo’ever, roll!] ♫”
"♫ If ya meet ‘em don’t ya sass / Or yer face will meet yer arse! / [Oh roll, Wo’ever, roll!] ♫”
"*more strumming on the fiddle, perhaps even more talentlessly than before*”
"Well then, that’s all fer today’s episode o’ Pirate Radio! This ‘as been yer friendly ‘ost, the Dread Pirate Halifax! Tune in next time fer the next thrillin’ installment, mateys!"
Always some like that around, giving them a bad reputation.
Wonder if she ever made that sale, though going by the other conversation going on there it's probably just as well for Olip if she didn't. (But perfectly OK with Zuzi being threatened, never did like Zuzi much... 
)