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Cantr Relationships: does age matter?

Posted: Thu Jun 23, 2005 10:58 pm
by Surly
Right, as another Cantr day drifts by with little happening (to my characters) I have plenty of time to think. And this is one of the issues to cross my twisted mind...

So, does age matter in Cantr relationships (of the character not the player)? An agegap carries certain stigma in western society; a 50 year old dating a 22 years old is a lecher, and she a gold-digger. So, does it matter in Cantr?

Are there any reasons for society to frown on such relationships? Do you have ooc feelings about it that affect your character?

Tell me. Give me something to post about... :roll:

Posted: Thu Jun 23, 2005 11:03 pm
by Talapus
I have no problem with age gaps in Canrt relationships. The only thing that I am wary of is young characters because they have a high chance of passing away. I would love to see some well played relationships between some one in their sixties (or seventies) and someone much younger. I would like to think that my OOC feelings wouldn't affect my IC feelings, but I know that is not true in an absolute sense, but I try.

Posted: Thu Jun 23, 2005 11:04 pm
by mortaine
Yeah, but not a whole lot. I think the older character with newspawn looks suspicious, but otherwise.... meh.

A twenty-year old is more likely to die sooner, so the older person might be perceived as taking advantage of the younger's labor. The younger could be taking advantage of the older's existing wealth.

I have one character whose boyfriend must have spawned all of a day and a half before she did.... they get along all right, but they're both equally inexperienced. What's nice is that they're real equals-- in their town and with each other, neither really has more than the other.

Posted: Thu Jun 23, 2005 11:06 pm
by Sunni Daez
My belief is No....but I hold that belief IRL too... it's whats in the heart that matters...even if it is frowned upon IRL. In Cantr, unless the older one RP's his age....(to feel as he would IRL) then age has no effect on them...with the exception of the older, of course, having more knowledge about the life in Cantr...

Posted: Thu Jun 23, 2005 11:06 pm
by Slowness_Incarnate
I think I have one couple where my character is in her sixties, and the guy is in his thirties. Another one is similarly gapped. None ogf my couples are of equal age.

Posted: Thu Jun 23, 2005 11:23 pm
by Surly
I struggle with this, because I know that in Cantr there are not really the same issues. But it still seems wrong for a 50 yearold to fall for a newspawn... although I am getting over that. I am trying to rectify this, as it really is ooc stigma that affect my decision...

I think the biggest age gap for any of the characetrs relationships is 22 years (you know who you are... :wink: ). Although that might change... a potential 27 year gap is on the cards...

Posted: Thu Jun 23, 2005 11:27 pm
by Missy
I think all my chars have different preferences. Some like them young, some like them old, some don't give a damn and others would prefer someone in their generation. Some are with people in all of those different categories.

Posted: Thu Jun 23, 2005 11:32 pm
by Surly
Missy wrote:I think all my chars have different preferences. Some like them young, some like them old, some don't give a damn and others would prefer someone in their generation. Some are with people in all of those different categories.
Now that's a good way of looking at it. That helps quite a bit, actually...

Cheers, Missy! :P

Posted: Thu Jun 23, 2005 11:52 pm
by Sunni Daez
I agree... even though I didn't elaborate as well... :lol:

Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 2:14 am
by AoM
You see this issue is weird for me because I view the age system in cantr in a way that I suspect is far different from the average cantr player.

Being that characters are spawned, not born. And that they begin forming their identities and personalities at age 20, not age 2 like in RL. I view age as something to indicate merely how experienced a character is, and nothing more.

In my little make-believe version of cantr, I like to think that cantrians don't "age" like humans do. I think of them more as the elvenkind in Tolkien's works. Characters don't lose their grace or beauty as they age, instead only getting more defined and stronger. If you think about it, age 30-35 in cantr should be regarded as a 20-25 year old in RL. It's the age when a person has developed enough respect and in-character connections to start making it on their own, becoming something more than a hematite crushing/ iron refining slave/worker.

In short, because age in cantr works so much differently from age in real life, I personally pay it little to no heed. So I have no problem with a 30 year old dating a 60 year old.

The one stigma I might have in character is a old character dating a newspawn. It's notably dangerous, because the newspawn could die at any moment. It could be perceived as not a real relationship because the older character is playing upon a newspawn's natural dependant nature.

But other than that, I see no problem with age difference.

Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 2:20 am
by west
I have three characters in relationships. One has a half-year difference, one has about a five-year difference, and one has a 23-year difference. :wink: He's 51, she's 28. 28 is old enough to have developed a personality (and a good chance of survival) and I think they have a great relationship. It's interesting RPing someone who's aging (past their prime) and is involved with someone who's still growing into their prime. But I think they have a good healthy relationship.

In cantr, I don't think the age difference matters as much as in real life, if at all.

Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 2:22 am
by Nixit
:lol:


Oh... sorry, I just figured out your pic, West. :lol:

Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 9:26 am
by Jos Elkink
Hmm, you guys all seem to implicitely imply that age differences really matter in real life :) ... I just talked to an approximately 60 (maybe a little less) year old guy who was talking about his 25 y.o. boyfriend ... is that really so bad? :)

(I actually find it a bit awkward myself, but I don't know why ...)

Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 9:27 am
by Peanut
It's not about your age.

It's about how old you feel.

Atleast that's my opinion.

Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 10:19 am
by SekoETC
Does it matter? - Certainly not! There are not many people in Cantr interesting enough to start a relationship with, if you find one you don't mind if they're a bit wrinkly (or in the other direction, if they are a newspawn). There may be troubles but that doesn't make having a relationship impossible. In Cantr people age terribly fast. Without friends and maybe even a lover by your side, you get bored and either end up catching the sleeping sickness or working inside not talking much where you're quite unreachable. That's why it's harder for anyone over 30 to find company of their own age.