Postby Shaudawn » Mon Oct 29, 2018 3:18 am
Me: Hi, Biin!
Biin Hejj: A very good evening to you, my logorrheatic looney.
Me: Got any songs for us tonight?
Biin: Boy, do I! But don't you wish to open your hate mail first?
Me: Not really. I've been thinking about it today, and there's really not much of a point. I may enlist you later to help me out with a sketch or two, but some of these moniyaw are climbing up the Ladder of Inference faster than the speed of light and focusing on what bothers their egos instead of listening to what I really have to say.
Biin: Well, since I've the noggin of a noodle-nosed nightingale, dost thou mind enlightening yours truly? *He grins goofily and bats his eyes for added effect, which really isn't helping because anyone looking a Biin two inches from your face batting his eyelids doesn't really induce any extra incentive.*
Me: For you, Biin, since you asked so nicely. You see, I...
Biin: ah-HEM.
Me: ...I mean, we are not quitting because of a single incident. It was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back...albeit a substantial straw indeed. We are quitting because we are fed up and lost tolerance of Cantr allowing extremely violent roleplay. Because I believe there is no mechanism set up to deal with it, and any real mechanism of this sort would fundamentally alter the game. At least one player has promised to continue to play multiple characters of this nature, and he has several clones online forming a fan club that are promising to do the same and this is no longer a fictional world in which I wish to engage. There have been actual unlawful acts by players against other players in the past before. There could very well be again. It's a no-win for anyone, not even for those who are disagreeing and apparently really, really angry about something they are inferring.
Biin: Aw, you're being too hard on these people. I mean, don't you want to never live long enough to be able to attain any of your goals and be constantly captured, imprisoned, enslaved, tortured, eaten, branded, raped, gutted, eviscerated, murdered, brought back to life, murdered again, ambushed, chewed, swallowed, shat upon the ground, and then made into a nice meat pie?
Me: Not really. No.
Biin: Well, you could join them. Do the shatting.
Me: Definitely not.
Biin: Well, then there's always that life of luxury hiding like a little gopher deep inside three layers of building far, far inland where you only sneak out at night and harvest a few raw potatoes while looking over your shoulder and wearing nothing but a loin cloth. I mean, just smell the freedom in that!
Me: I'll pass.
Biin: But the writing opportunities in that. The writing, man! "Dear diary: Today I cut off a body part and made a taco out of it. It was the best day ever!"
Me: No thanks. Again, I'll pass. Too boring.
Biin: "Dear diary: Today I was pompous and my sister was crazy. Today we were kidnapped by hillfolk never to be seen again. It was the best day ever!"
Me: *rolls eyes* Biin, what did I tell you about copyright infringement?
Biin: *He beams his best grin and rocks on the heels of his quasi-cyberpunk shoes* Don't get caught!
Me: *facepalms*
Biin: Well, your clarification won't stop your fan mail.
Me: Probably not. Or maybe they'll get bored of this thread. After all, we're not here for them. We're here to entertain, leave behind a few more beautiful corpses, and maybe even pass on a few observations and words of wisdom for Them That's Left Behind.
Biin: *He giggles and claps his hands daintily* ooOOOOoooh! Now who's infringing?
Me: So, how about a song for us before we go to more important and fun things with a truly supportive and creative community of world builders?
Biin: OH! So glad you asked, my good sir. This one should be right up your alley, if your critics of such supreme wit and uncanny but utterly wrong logical modelling are right. Any introduction here?
Me: I guess it's just to say that I was still trying to figure out how to convey music and stuff through the radio, let alone on a text-based-only medium with that darn Capital Rule that I thought was arbitrarily enforced. I was a bit concerned that the last line might get me into trouble, but it didn't. And, frankly, it wasn't anywhere near the language that was rampant on the radios back then. As time went on...I leaned harder on that fourth wall, but only with your character because the Biin within is a bit crazy and taking advantage in a little loophole. Anyway, to try to get some feeling of a blues guitar wailing away, I had to use some very creativ...I mean, different "sounds". ...it got worse.
============
2. ATTENTION BLUES
((NOTES: Directly influenced by all the radio whiners in general pining after some guy or girl who left them. There was one time nearly every broadcast was some girl crying that she needed a doctor because her leg had turned black or some guy begging someone to come back and work things out. It was getting so melodramatic, I just kept thinking, 'Darwin has a present for you'. And the radio trolls were just as bad or worse. It was so depressing I almost hit the 'Unsub X' button.))
Biin:
#stereotypical blues walk#
Well I...wooooke up this mornin';
She said I ain't said nothin' all day...;
Yeah, baby I...wooooke up this mornin';
Said, "You ain't said nothin' to me all day...";
It's only been two hours;
"But I...neeeed attention in a serious way...";
~dun-daaaaah~
#repeated blues walk#
Well the, moment I spawned baby;
You gave me all yer love;
Yeah, well the...moooo-ment I spawned baby;
You gave me all yer love;
But I'm a-....beginnin' to see, baby...you ain't no lonesome dove...;
~dun-na-naaaaah~
#bridge chords# ~dun-NAA-Dun-dun~
I was spawned in a mountain town;
Got a pile-a-rocks-for-a-bed;
The last man I seen walk through there;
Showed up ON the road long dead;
Now you gone and wore nuthin' but a loincloth, in the middle of a snow storm;
I told ya ta get your ass in here, where it was sheltered and so warm;
I got the BLUUUUUUES So bad... Kinda wish I were dead;
Cuz yer fingers and toes have turned all black, and there's a strange growth now on yer head.
~dun-daaaaah~ Oh, BABY!
###What follows is a long guitar solo done in the traditional blues style, full of soul and rhythm but not too much in the way of tune. In fact, to call the guitar 'in-tune' would be more than generous as this might just be the third-worst blues song you've heard over the radio in your life. You fidget as the solo goes on, perhaps involuntary muscle movements cause you to actually reach over and flip the switch off. Or perhaps you go running out the door of whatever factory or automobile or even ship for that matter, screaming and tearing out your hair, crying with genuine emotion to whatever god you think has control over your fate to please make it stop. Or, maybe, used to the noise, you just sit there and think, "Well, now. That's the third-worst blues song I've ever heard in my life," and then roll over and go back to sleep a little wiser.###
~dun-na-naaaaah~
#same old blues walk#
Well, you...say you need a doctor now, baby;
I jus' don't know what to say;
Said you...neeeeeed a doctor badly;
Babe I jus' don't know what to say;
Said you...gotta have that doctor, or your leg might fall off any day;
~dah-neener-duhnah~
#bridge chords# ~dun-NAA-Dun-dun~
Well you got on the radio;
Got no idea where you are;
You sobbed an' told 'em I beat you;
Now they're sending out a car!;
Now the trolls all think I'm a douche-bag;
They'll prob'ly take my life;
But when they kill me I'll smile;
Better that than YOUUU as my wife...
I got the BLUUUUUUES So bad, baby... pretty sure won't be livin' no more;
But you know I...I won't complain about it none, baby;
Cuz I ain't noooo....
~BWOW~
...Yeah, I just ain't noooo-hooo-oooo...
~BWOW~
...Baby, I just ain't no. Self-mutilatin' Attention Whore....
~BAA-NAAAAAAAAAAH~
Thank you all. I'll be here all week. Please tip your waitresses. Don't drink and drive.
============
Biin: The opinions expressed in these posts may or may not be for non sequitur humorous entertainment purposes only. They should not be considered useful for redecorating purposes, logical arguments, examples of how one should behave in a court of law, the basis for pretending to be a president of an extremely large country, operating heavy machinery, financial advice, repeating yourself, random acts of senseless beauty, repeating yourself, or driving your grandmother to church. Any attempts at making sense of this drivel shall be done at the reader's own risk. Neither the Writer nor that goofy, birdlike guy with the guitar are to be held responsible if anyone is committed or incarcerated. Don't do drugs. Stay in school. Peace out, man.
--Shaudawn
"We all know that art is not the truth, art is a lie that makes us realize the truth." --Picasso
"Another belief of mine: that everyone else my age is an adult, whereas I am merely in disguise. " --M. Atwood