I give joke.
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with five young mothers and their small children... "You all have
obsessions", he observed.
To the first mother, Mary, he says, "You are obsessed with eating.
You've even named your daughter, Candy."
He turns to the second Mom, Ann: "Your obsession is with money.
Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."
He turns to the third Mom, Joyce, "Your obsession is alcohol. This too manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy."
The fourth mother, "Elaine's obsession is obvious", he said, "You are obsessed with the beach, you named your child, Sandy."
At this point, the fifth mother, Kathy gets up, grabs her little boy by the hand and whispers. "Come on, Dick, we're leaving."
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For the ladies
Boyfriend 5.0
Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slowdown in the performance of the flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under the Boyfriend 5.0 system.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9, and installed undesirable programs such as NFL 7.4, NBA 3.2, and NHL 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 also no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?
Signed, Desperate
Dear Desperate,
Please advise that we are unable to solve your problems. We would suggest a programmers class for the Husband 1.0 system in handling the system requirements, see small print on illustration.
It sounds like Husband 1.0 really doesn't understand the steps involved when adding and removing programs.
I would start over. Remove all the added programs to see if your system is running better. If not, call a lawyer...this is out of our league.
Thank you for taking the time to write.
Tech support #278.
Dear Desperate,
Tech Support has referred your inquiry to us for further deliberation.
For advanced users of husband 1.0, we recommend trying the following fixes before engaging Attorney 9.0:
Immediately uninstall marital relations 1.0, being sure to leave the reason box blank on the uninstall menu.
After uninstalling marital relations 1.0, install the auxilliary couch module, which will save disk space by moving husband 1.0 to the couch while the system is sleeping.
On your laundry menu, we recommend upgrading to the Millenium edition. The new technology allows you to de-select all items associated with husband 1.0 when performing this function.
Similarly, the range of cooking 4.0 has been extended to include the following options: charcoal, ossified, and mush.
We have found that by utilizing these commands, it can sometimes be possible to cause husband 1.0 to reboot, or allow you to work around the faulty program.
Sincerely,
Customer Service
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You should cry somewhere else 
even though I don't say much on here and remain hidden under the couch =P I still love you all.. even though you all seem to kill each other >:P