Funny or interesting IC quotes

[Joshuamonkey]

blah

"blah" - Joshuamonkey

[Nakranoth]

From one of my more entertaining charries... none too high profile, so I don't mind people knowing it's me... Other Names left in for comedic purposes. Classic Cantrian order.



Mister Resource Commander Michael Zwellinghart says: "Oh yes, and the pickaxes are done. Young finnished them some while ago, Gnosh, thanks for the offer. We will need another shovel, but that can be done while we travel."

Mister Resource Commander Michael Zwellinghart says: "Well thanks for helping to clear the projects. *Smiles.* Hopefully we'll leave tomorrow. I don't want to put it off any longer. Also, thanks for the offer, but I'll just leave Zady in the car because she's going with us. I'll just recline her seat later. And yes, it is my concern that she's been asleep for far too long. As are some others around here..Although I heard Catherine stirring the other day. Still no movements out of Helen, Mike or Mark. Kinda worrisome."

You say: "*nods* I know I could have just asked you for the hemp, but I figgured the project was already there and could stand to be cleaned up and it kept my fingers busy so I didn't fall asleep when we go, by the how long until we leave, do those pickaxes still need making, 'case once I'm done making the sandles I won't really have anything particular to do and I don't really like standing around waiting for things to happen that I can make happen if you know what I mean"

Mister Resource Commander Michael Zwellinghart says: "Yes Gnosh, and I could have easily given you some hemp for your sandals. Thank you. You ever need a thousand some odd grams of hemp, let me know."

Max Crowe says: "Really. Wow. *smiles at Gnosh*"

You say: "*looks between the two with a hint of confusion*"

Max Crowe says: "*listens for a moment, waiting for his brain to catch up, then smiles and nods* Right... good point. "

Mister Resource Commander Michael Zwellinghart says: "*Laughs heartily and nods to Max.* Always. "

You say: "*looks at Max* What do you mean Mister Max Crowe, my hands are a little bit sore from picking so much hemp, but i'm not really that tired so as to say that I've been in the fields too long, after all picking hemp is nothing compared to crushim hematite for a few years only stopping to take a break every couple of half-years, not saying I don't enjoy working in the blacksmith shop, after all where else would I have gottes so strong for my little size."

Max Crowe says: "Gnosh... I think maybe you've been in the hemp fields too long. *leans over to Michael, whispering* ...or does he always talk like that?"

You say: "*breathes for a moment befor trying again* Why's Miss Ambassador Zady Zwellingheart sacring you Mister Resource Commander Michael Zwellinghart is she making funny faces at you I hadn't really noticed her doing anything in that car, but then there's a lot that happens that I don't really notice, or maybe it's because Miss Ambassador Zady Zwellingheart hasn't been doing that much that she's scaring you, have you given her food lately, do you want me to help you get her out of the car 'cause she doesn't look completely comfortable after having sat in there for so long, so maybe we should help her out?"

You say: "*coughs*"

You say: "Why's she scaring you "

You say: "Hey, I've been helping clean up an old abandoned hemp farming project so I could get some raw hemp for the sandles I'm making rioght now that needed the hemp to tie the hide to the bottoms of my feet so it'd stay on, but I ended up growing a lot more than the ten grams of hemp that I needed for the sandles I'm making right now so I had a lot extra lying around and so I figgured that as the Resorce Commander of (City) you could find a practical use for the extra hemp, like string for drying racks or cloth for clothes like tunics and work pants or other interesting things like that."

Mister Resource Commander Michael Zwellinghart says: "*Reaches in the window of the car and annoyingly taps on Zady's head.* You there. You need to wake up. Starting to scare me and that's not a good thing, we know. "

You give 1481 grams of hemp to Mister Resource Commander Michael Zwellinghart.

You use 50 grams of hemp on Manufacturing primitive sandals.

You take 1531 grams of hemp.

[Dreamhand]

Gnosh rocks... love that guy! Max is a little dubious, but I think he's GREAT!

[Mafia Salad]

War of words between Charlie Charm and some crazy newspawn girl. Vintage 1590. I enjoyed it.

Top to bottom for ease of reading.

1590-3: You enter Shortinazy, where you see 12 people, leaving House of Friends.

1590-3: You take 8 grams of sinew.
1590-3: You take 251 grams of mushrooms.
1590-3: You take 743 grams of tortoiseshell.
1590-3: You take 2388 grams of hematite.
1590-3: You take 500 grams of clay.
1590-3: You take 1374 grams of potatoes.

1590-3: You say: "If that stuff I picked up belongs to someone, speak up."

1590-3: Baroness Cuttlattlebattle Della Foreistia says: "*In a low gravelly hiss* it. was. mine. thief. don't think that because grampa and nancy try to push me around you can steal my stuff."

1590-4: You say: "Woe there Miss goat woman. If I had any intention of thievery then I would have taken it, got back on the mill's bike or boat and left. Now do you have anything other than an attitude problem to convince me that this belongs to you. Frankly you look a little young to have gotten all this stuff."

1590-4: You see Baroness Cuttlattlebattle Della Foreistia pointing at you.
1590-4: You see Baroness Cuttlattlebattle Della Foreistia pointing at you.
1590-4: You see Baroness Cuttlattlebattle Della Foreistia pointing at you.
1590-4: You see Baroness Cuttlattlebattle Della Foreistia pointing at you.

1590-4: Baroness Cuttlattlebattle Della Foreistia says: "Go! Go! Go! Strike back! See? I'm not the bad one? All I try is to take care of my house and then what does the?"

1590-4: You say: "I have no idea what that was supposed ta mean."

1590-4: Baroness Cuttlattlebattle Della Foreistia says: "Hahahaha! You willl learn what it means. You will learn what it means to trifle with Baroness Cuttlattlebattle Della Foreistia, Ruler of all these lands, from Blit to Blojt, from Short to long, you are in my lands thief, and there is nowhere that can escape the long arm of the cephalopod. Perhaps you will have rethought things before my subjects"

1590-4: You see Baroness Cuttlattlebattle Della Foreistia pointing at you.

1590-4: Baroness Cuttlattlebattle Della Foreistia slaps you in the face.

1590-4: Baroness Cuttlattlebattle Della Foreistia says: "Ahahahaha."

1590-4: You say: "*rubbing his check* Very impressive. Now there is a pile of rocks over there you can talk to, you strike me as the kind of person who would enjoy that."

1590-4: Baroness Cuttlattlebattle Della Foreistia says: "There is nowhere."

1590-4: Golkin "Gold King" says: "Ohhh Charlie I like your wit. If i ever get my guild of wise people I want you to join."

1590-5: Baroness Cuttlattlebattle Della Foreistia says: "If your guild is a lockbox. No, a lockbox on the bottom of the ocean, I can help him join the being in in in it club. Yes. The being in a lockbox at the bottom of the bay. Yes. That is where thieves go. Make it. Now. Ship the thief out."

1590-5: You say: "Well ain't that something Goldking, I could make some sense out of that one. Maybe if I keep her pissed at me for a year or two she'll become a productive member of society."

1590-6: Golkin "Gold King" says: "Aye and with your sense of wit I don't think it will be to hard to do"

1590-7: a man in his twenties says: "Hasn't anyone here realized that this woman thinks she is a squid? A mollusc?"

1590-7: Mufin deBranne says: "What?"

1590-7: Yan "The Man" Krasik says: "Maybe she just wants attention...it's wowking if she does"

1591-1: You a man in his twenties die.

1591-1: You say: "Well ain't that something, one hour he's talking and just a few later he drops dead. It can be a funny world."

Some time later…

1595-2: Baroness Cuttlattlebattle Della Foreistia says: "See? I told you all! I told you all! Now Kuki backs me up yes yes yesyesyes. See? I told you there is someone locking me out of my home and now they lock us out from the den what next is nothing sacred is nothing pure? Rally friends!! rally!! we shall over!!"

1595-3: Kumi Onoko says: "Oh boy"

1595-3: Kumi Onoko says: "Is that what you were talking about Cuttle?"

1595-3: Baroness Cuttlattlebattle Della Foreistia says: "what were you talking about I were talking about? whos boy you refer two huh huh? Huh?! Who?!"

1595-4: Kumi Onoko says: "Cuttles do you live in the hospital?"

1595-4: Baroness Cuttlattlebattle Della Foreistia says: "No. nononono. I don't live in the hospital I live in my house my house isn't the hospital haha, thats silly who would live in a hospital I sure don't live in a hopsital nononono."

1595-4: You see Baroness Cuttlattlebattle Della Foreistia point at 555 Shortinazy St..

1595-4: Baroness Cuttlattlebattle Della Foreistia says: "thats my house. See its not a hopsital at all. Nope,no nonono its just a startling pattern yes yes yes the locking of doors dark times locks locked the beasts walk the streets the subjects revele against me the hospitals are houses and the houses are hospitals and the locks are locked"

1595-4: You say: "So how did you get that house?"

1595-4: Baroness Cuttlattlebattle Della Foreistia says: "Its my house! How'd you get that punched in the thinspot thief! Huh?! Don't question your rulerships!!"

1595-4: Kumi Onoko says: "*suppresses a giggle*"

1595-4: You say: " I'm beginning to think we don’t see eye ta eye. Seems the problem is somewhere behind your eyes though."

1595-4: Nalaris says: "Uh, just want to make sure I got this all, Cuttle. You claim your house is 555 Shortinazy St., correct? And that someone locked you out of it? And you think the same person locked the hospital? Is this all correct?"

1595-4: Nalaris says: "Man, if I could get a weapon...but first things first, I need a dung fork. About how much ore, limestone and fuel does it take to make a hundred grams of iron?"

1595-4: Baroness Cuttlattlebattle Della Foreistia says: "The locking beast?! Here?! Where?!*Whips her head around, one way then the other. She then begins grabbing wildly behind her head* you lie and steal thief. I am quite ashamed of you you have done nothing but harry the good folk of this fine town how can you stand to sit there and create barriers between hope and the outside world they'll starve in there if you don't let them out how how how wheres the key thief where'd you put it they need it they need it they need it its not alright its not alright its not alright."

1595-4: You say: "Nally, don't waste your time with a doung fork, we got a harvester here."

1595-4: Baroness Cuttlattlebattle Della Foreistia says: "Who's Nally? Whohoohoohoohoo? do you mean Boffo? Thats Bofffffo theresnosuchthing as a nally. nally nalleeeee sounds like salleeee sounds like the"

1595-4: You see Baroness Cuttlattlebattle Della Foreistia pointing at Nalaris.

1595-4: You say: "Your linguistic abilities are without equal. I tell ya what, if we decide ta build a second library here, I’ll push ta have it dedicated ta you."

1595-4: Baroness Cuttlattlebattle Della Foreistia says: "Hows that statue going thief? The monument the grand brazen monument to our fallen hero our lost prince our monkey gone to wait no what am I saying yes fallen hero lost champion dying horses alma perdida a loving tribute to he who burned brightest and shortest our dearly departed hows that go"

1595-4: Baroness Cuttlattlebattle Della Foreistia says: "You leave my cat alone thief.
You'll probably steal the cat too huh?! huh?! What about it it itiitititit dontyoutrytolie about it I see it in your eye your eyes are the window to the other side where the grass is the solar."

1595-4: Siamsa "Siam" says: "*looks around for the cat*"

1595-4: You see Baroness Cuttlattlebattle Della Foreistia pointing at Siamsa "Siam".

1595-4: Baroness Cuttlattlebattle Della Foreistia says: "I told you thief *Shakes fist* I
told you don't take the cat you probably cat the eight and eight cats right about face now left left left right right right where was I right no, yes, stop that thief don't take my cat."

1595-4: You give 84 grams of fur to Baroness Cuttlattlebattle Della Foreistia.

1595-4: You say: "There ya go, a pet you can cuddle and it won't bite you like the hawks. Feel free ta talk ta it all ya want too."

1595-4: Siamsa "Siam" says: "*shakes head* How can I take your cat when I can't see it? How can anyone, for that matter?"

1595-4: Siamsa "Siam" says: "*giggles*"

1595-5: Baroness Cuttlattlebattle Della Foreistia says: "Well I can't see me, so clearly you can't see you kittycat because your eyes cant see behind them to similarly you cant take you because you already are you and have you but stay away from thief hell try to steal you from you and thats the worst thing to do I hope that he didnt take your fur kitty cat, if you took kittycat's fur and gave it to me that is sicksicksick and I am mad mad at you thief mad. at. you."

1595-5: Golkin "Gold King" says: "Odd in your nonsensical rambles i can hear a touch a genous."

1595-5: You say: "Didn't I say keeping her mad at me might make her smarter?"

[Joshuamonkey]

Very good! I congratulate whoever's character that is. I have something I want to add here but I have to wait the four days, not that there's anything important in it.

[notsure]

When passing through Dory the other day, I heard a man attempting to talk the citizens into letting him start a sex-for-hire shop, then just a sex- for-free shop, then just a sex-with-him arrangement. Read bottom to top.

1873-3: Stacey Zareth says: "Well? Are you going to finish the sex?"
1873-3: You see Benjamin leaving the central area of Doryiskom, entering Heller Castle.
1873-3: You see Benjamin entering Doryiskom, coming from The Ladies Man.
1873-3: You see Benjamin leaving the central area of Doryiskom, entering The Ladies Man.
1873-3: You see Benjamin entering Doryiskom, coming from The Ladies Man.
1873-3: You see Benjamin leaving the central area of Doryiskom, entering The Ladies Man.
1873-3: Stacey Zareth says: "Now come on, you can't really start your business until you've finished your first sex. What are potential employess going to think if their boss has never completed a session himself?"
1873-3: You see Stacey Zareth altering the signs on The Ladies Man.
1873-3: Stacey Zareth says: "Look, you can't say you've had sex til you eat it, so do it."
1873-3: Benjamin says: "*stares at her blankly, unable to hear due to his numb ears*"
1873-3: Benjamin says: "Uh..."
1873-3: Stacey Zareth says: "Come on, down the hatch"
1873-3: You see Stacey Zareth give some fresh dung to Benjamin.
1873-3: Stacey Zareth says: "And finallly, the grand finale, eat this, and swallow it."
1873-3: You see Benjamin drop some milk.
1873-3: Stacey Zareth says: "Oooh that's good"
1873-3: You see Stacey Zareth drop some milk.
1873-3: You see Stacey Zareth give some milk to Benjamin.
1873-3: Stacey Zareth says: "now, pour this over your feet, and i will do the same, this is the mutual part."
1873-3: Benjamin says: "Okay? What's next?"
1873-3: Stacey Zareth says: "Yes, you wanted me to teach you sex. So i am doing so."
1873-3: You see Stacey Zareth give some large bones to Benjamin.
1873-3: Benjamin says: "My forehead?"
1873-3: Benjamin says: "My ears?"
1873-3: Stacey Zareth says: "And take one of these and smack your forehead with it repeatedly"
1873-3: Benjamin says: "*spits the feathers out*"
1873-3: Stacey Zareth says: "Wrap it around your ears as tight as you can, until your ears feel numb"
1873-3: You see Stacey Zareth give some sinew to Benjamin.
1873-3: Stacey Zareth says: "Right, i think that;'s enough foreplay, take this."
1873-3: Benjamin says: "haghh haghhh*nods his head and mumbles a bit more*"
1873-3: Stacey Zareth says: "Are you still chewing those feathers?"
1873-3: You see Stacey Zareth entering Doryiskom, coming from Dragon's Nest - Zara's house.
1873-3: You see Stacey Zareth leaving the central area of Doryiskom, entering Dragon's Nest - Zara's house.
1873-3: Stacey Zareth says: "They're to warm you up, we'll start the sex in a minute."
1873-3: Benjamin says: "*tries to mumble something with a disgusted look on his face*"
1873-3: You see Benjamin talking to Stacey Zareth.
1873-3: Stacey Zareth says: "Put those feathers in your mouth and start chewing. "
1873-3: You see Stacey Zareth give some feathers to Benjamin.
1873-3: Stacey Zareth says: "Ok, Benjamin."

[Joshuamonkey]

Yeah, I saw the whole thing. If I was awake, you guys would have seen me get angry for once.

[Missy]

I was going to post that. I'm sure it ticked the player off more than anything, but it serves them right. I'm so tired of all these people running around looking for sex IC.

Very funny!

[SumBum]

Kudos to him for playing along as much as he did. Very funny.

[SekoETC]

Mm, ear bondage... XD

[SekoETC]

I was looking for Jaina's "work to be done"-list to recycle it but it made me chuckle so I'm gonna save it.

Tasks

Guarding

People needed: At least 1
Duration: From now to infinity
Urgency: Medium

The ideal situation would be for every citizen outdoors to regularly take a glance
at the sea and report to Jaina when ships are spotted nearby. Also the docking times
of vessels should be recorded if I'm not around to do that.

Road improvement

There's still room for one more in the mountains. AJ will be coming to Xendra on an
undefined moment, and someone ought to be waiting there with a shovel. That someone
will likely be Charlie or Josh Antloin, provided that these guys stay awake. A
person showing signs of sleeping sickness will not be sent anywhere, since that
would be the loss of a good shovel.

Cooking

-Mixing fruit salad

People needed: Up to 2
Duration: 25 days est.
Urgency: Medium

Tools needed: knife, wooden bowl (one held by Jaina, other one not finished yet.
Ask.)

If the project is finished soon, every active citizen will receive a proportion on
the following feeding day. However sluggards can expect no bonuses.

We can make up to 15 kilos after which potato salad could be tried next.

- Cooking meat
People needed: Up to 2, currently tended by Troy

There's a hundred kilos of raw meat or so in the storage, so new projects can be
expected. Due to rarity of wood, the old oven should not be used but all cooking is
to be done by coal. If someone jams the wood oven, they'll be sending themselves on
a trip to Reniov forest on foot.

Toolcraft

-Manufacturing a wooden bowl

People needed: 1
Duration: 1 day
Urgency: Medium
Started: 1636-6, Office

Needed if we find a second person willing to mix salad.

-Repairing stone hammer 1637-7
Urgency: Low

-Repairing wooden trowel 1637-7
Urgency: Low

Tailoring

Projects are not started since our most promising tailor seems to be asleep.

However there's a need for simple clothing for fledglings (fur bikinis, loincloths,
other simple hide items may be tried).

Bone needles and knives should be available. More can be made upon request.

Metalworks

-Crushing hematite
Urgency: Low
Tools needed: hammer or stone hammer

Swords will be made by Jaina, provided that she doesn't have to be tending to other
projects...

Ok, maybe others won't find it funny...

[Joshuamonkey]

I found it funny! rofl rofl...I still miss AJ.

Is that a really old note? I think it needs an update...

[SekoETC]

As you can see from the project dates, it's from the 16-hundreds. Another version was from the 17-hundreds but it didn't have much projects on it, so no wonder I stopped using it. But now there might be need for a new one.

[Leo Luncid]

How about some nostalgia? Read the first 16 pages here; these two I found most amusing.

Bottom up, of course

In Tircqi, by the way:

841-6: a man in his twenties says: "You can just pour them on my head wherever I am sleeping. Pile them up. You can cover me up, it will keep me warm. Or make it so just my head sticks out so I can breathe. Don`t step on me though."

841-6: a man in his twenties says: "I have been on the potatoes for six or seven days. I will be asleep for a couple days right after they are done. Would someone hand me a few thousand pototoes when they are completed? Thanks."

Bottoms up and enjoy.



Incident 1

Devon Dobbs says: "I`ve alredy got a cooking stone."

Val Hendricks says: "Next time I win."

You see Val Hendricks give cooking stone to Devon Dobbs.

You see Brad Dreeno give some wood to Devon Dobbs.

Devon Dobbs says: "Ha ha! I win! What do I get?"

You see Devon Dobbs slap Brad Dreeno in the face.

You see Devon Dobbs slap Val Hendricks in the face.

Devon Dobbs says: "Anyone have wool? Do we have a spindle?"

Brad Dreeno says: "*laughs*"

You see Brad Dreeno slap Val Hendricks in the face.

Brad Dreeno says: "DIE VAL!!!!!!! DON"T ATTACK ANYMORE SHEEP!!!!!"

Val Hendricks says: "Oops."

Val Hendricks says: "DIE SHEEP!!!!!! DON`T ATTACK ANYONE ELSE!!!!! Or was that
a cow?"

You see Val Hendricks hurt a sheep using a bone club.

Devon Dobbs says: "Much cleaner now."

Devon Dobbs says: "Comes in mint, cherry, and grape. I like mint. *pours in
mouth* *gurgles* *spits out*"

Devon Dobbs says: "WATERY TOOTHPASTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The best way to clean
your teeth."

Devon Dobbs says: "But I don`t know if I have a tooth brush. Well you know
what they say......"

Devon Dobbs says: "Now I have to brush my teeth."

You say: "You cut that out."

You poke a cow.

You see a cow attack Ryn Lyian.

You say: "*turns away quickly so she wouldn`t see the barfing, but the sound
still makes her feel sick in her stomach*"

Brad Dreeno says: "Pfffft. That was nasty Devon."

Devon Dobbs says: "*barfs*"

Brad Dreeno says: "Well if that`s what it turns out to be quite a profit that
they are gonna make. *snickers*"

Devon Dobbs says: "Ok what I just pictured was truley nasty. Anyone have a
garbage can?"

Devon Dobbs says: "Awww. C`mon! That`s sick! Ewww! Gross! You`re putting bad
things in my mind!"

[Zanthos]

I thought Devin was sane?

guess i was misinformed.