Cantr-Related Jokes

[*Wiro]

Love you guys.

[Debsy]

Chuck Norris does not break the CR. He roundhouse kicks it.

My favorite.

[SekoETC]

lol @ punch



Why did the newspawn thief drop all the stuff he'd stolen?

- Because he was dead!

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What's sad about a newspawn thief dying?

- You can't use them for target practice anymore.

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What do you call a guy who sleeps outside in Mulof North?

- Lion food

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What do you call a guy who insults the Stone Knights?

- Dead

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Somebody gets kidnapped by Adam Brinks, is made to drop all her stuff and marooned on a desert island. She gets back to the civilized world and acquires a crossbow, spends years preparing for revenge, gathering healing food and such. Then Adam's ship docks to town and the person shoots him with the crossbow, like "ahhah, gotcha!" -- Except no one else is awake. Adam Brinks nonchalantly eats a bit of onions, hits the person in return and drags her to the ship. She's again made to drop everything and marooned on a desert island.
Years later the person gets back to civilization again, although this time she has more trouble acquiring equipment since she has lost everything twice already except for her life, so everyone knows that she must've dropped it. Then one day she happens to see Adam's ship docking again, rushes to the harbor and hits him with a bone knife. Adam looks down at her, smirks and says: "Just admit it, you like getting kidnapped!"

http://www.top20fun.com/funny_jokes/1465.html

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A couple goes to a doctor's office because they have been unable to conceive offspring. The doctor asks them all sorts of questions, checks their health, everything is fine, then finally gets around to asking them how they have tried doing it. They say "oh, we go to the bedroom and rest on the bed and you know the rest". The doctor raises an eyebrow at them and says: "You're Cantrians. You're supposed to stand outside, then you might sire a newspawn at random!"

[joo]

A newspawn walks into a bar and asks the bartender:

"What do you sell here?"

Bartender: "We've got beer, cider, wine, mead and punch. But the punch's for free."

Newspawn: "Why's the punch for free?"

The Bartender rolls up his sleeves and smacks the newspawn in the face.

"'Cause drinks are healing food and you can't consume them when you're fully healed."

[*Wiro]

What do you call a guy who insults the Stone Knights?

- Dead

lulz not really. Unless treating them like barbaric animals isn't an insult.

[Piscator]

Man 1: Why did the cow just climb the apple tree?

Man 2: Because she heard Bob's going to open an ice cream parlour.

[joo]

Why does Adam Brinks never stay in one place for very long?

Because he's scared that he might meet one of Chuck Norris's characters.

[playerslayer666]

Why does Adam Brinks never stay in one place for very long?

Because he's scared that he might meet one of Chuck Norris's characters.

[Gran]

Dang people, why there aren't so many comedian chars?

What do you call a guy who insults the Stone Knights?

- Dead

[SekoETC]

Dang people, why there aren't so many comedian chars?

Because if you make fun of someone with no sense of humor, you can also be called dead.

[playerslayer666]

Dang people, why there aren't so many comedian chars?

Because if you make fun of someone with no sense of humor, you can also be called dead.

could have answered his question with another joke.

[Litchin_flip]

*Is so happy he started this thread*

[Trapaças]

What do CS fanatics say when they hit another char with a crossbow?
- HEAD SHOT!

What does a barbaric character say when he/she hits another char with a steel battle axe?
- HEAD CHOP!

What does a character played by Chuck Norris say when he roundhouse kicks someone in the head?
- *head explodes*

Also Chuck Norris doesn't RP roundhouse kicks, when he is going to select a weapon to use, the roundhouse kick always appears at the last line, it gives 300% damage to a char and never misses. When you receive the mail saying your char X died it appears in the first line: "Your character has been erased from the space-time continuum by a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick"

[Litchin_flip]

Also Chuck Norris doesn't RP roundhouse kicks, when he is going to select a weapon to use, the roundhouse kick always appears at the last line, it gives 300% damage to a char and never misses. When you receive the mail saying your char X died it appears in the first line: "Your character has been erased from the space-time continuum by a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick"

[Litchin_flip]

All cantr pirates hope to one day grow up to be like Chuck Norris's pirates. Most of them just grow up to be killed by him.

Adam Brinks is actually played by Chuck Norris.