In Game Relationships

[Misato]

So I'm going through this right now, and thought others might have too. Anyone ever gotten sick over an in-game relationship breakup? lol I know I know, it isn't real but still, it is bothering me a LOT. I did indeed shed a tear or two. So I'd be interested to hear if others have experienced this or is it just me?

Actually, yes...the first time, my char's bf ran off on the first ship out of town (although there was a lot more to it than just that), then the same char a few years later, her fiancee died. Then, just recently, I've been sick over the death of a very beloved char.

[Miri]

I have a slightly unrelated question. I think it is not uncommon for people to have both male and female characters. So, when you are thinking of getting into a relationship with some character do any of you wonder if the player is a dude or a girl? And how do you deal with it?

Somehow my guys tend to get on well with other female players' guys
I don't really care about who the player is, although I like to know. That gives me some info on how far I can go and which way.

It's kinda awkward when you find someone's custom description attractive but the person makes no advances on you even though you talk to them regularly, how are you supposed to make initiative then? Smile and hope they smile back? But what if there's nothing to smile about? How about touching?

Stick to them, like a remora sooner or later they won't have a choice but to notice you, and by then you'll have already grown quite fond of each other... or got fed up with each other so badly you can't even stand that person anymore

I've got only one breakup, and it was my girl leaving the guy. Nothing special, really. He was after her, she decided to give him a chance, but it seemed as a complete failure to her, so she left.
All my other relationships that ended, ended with death - usually of my charrie

[nateflory]

I don't care if it is a male or a female on the other end because truthfully... my char is the one in the relationship not me.

Agreed. I generally hadn't gotten too intimate with any of my character's loves, with a few exceptions. However, this is more just personal preference. Otherwise, the character is the char, and I've gotten swept into a few relations, male and female. I didn't even consider the player behind them, as it didn't matter.

[Doug R.]

All my relationships ended in death. My first character marriage ended when I unsubbed, and I was devastated. I'm much more emotionally stable now. I definitely have a larger emotional wall between my characters and myself now, though stuff still leaks through.

While I have no difficulty playing guys or girls in a relationship, and I don't care if it's a guy or girl playing on the other end, I do have issues if I know the player and they know me. Nothing good comes from talking to the player of your character's spouse outside the game. I've seen weird things happen to others time and time again, and weird things happened to me. It's a complete false intimacy with someone that you barely know.

[SekoETC]

All my other relationships that ended, ended with death - usually of my charrie

Yeah, thanks a lot. My character still hasn't found a replacement, unless close friends count.

I keep wondering do people my characters are intimate with know that it's me, and if they don't know, would it change things, especially in the cases where I play the guy. I few times I've handled support cases for players whose characters I've slept with and it seems funny to write to them as a staff-member when they presumably have no idea that I play their character's husband/other love interest.

[Genevieve]

I don't care if it is a male or a female on the other end because truthfully... my char is the one in the relationship not me.

I agree. And I play both men and women in game.

I would also agree with Doug -- I really prefer not to know who is on the other end, or they don't know me. It makes things awkward sometimes, even if the relationship isn't at all sexual. Just like my characters emotions sometimes leak onto me, I am sorry but there are times when MY emotions leak into my characters and this is especially true if I dislike the player. lol so I try not to know who I'm playing with in general until after their death or mine.

Most of my other characters relationships have ended in death. Sometimes it is really hard, when the death is abrupt. But in one case the character had been mostly sleeping and so i personally didn't have as much emotion attached when they died.

[mikki]

I too agree with Doug. Now this wasn't always so. I used to want to know who the other player was, just to know them. I have found over and over again that knowing the other person makes things more difficult for me. If I do happen to talk to the other player, I find myself having a hard time playing the char the way that char should be. And then if I end up getting into a fight with this other player.. I don't even want to play, which of course causes even more issues ig. The people that I already talk to out of the game, I have remained friends with, but other then that.. I fight the urge to know because all it does is mess up the game, making things go all weird and takes the suspense out of the game for me.

So if anyone that I do talk to take offense when I don't answer your questions when asked what is going on with a certain char, I do apologize, but this makes things easier for me.

[Kelli]

I too agree with Doug. Now this wasn't always so. I used to want to know who the other player was, just to know them. I have found over and over again that knowing the other person makes things more difficult for me. If I do happen to talk to the other player, I find myself having a hard time playing the char the way that char should be. And then if I end up getting into a fight with this other player.. I don't even want to play, which of course causes even more issues ig. The people that I already talk to out of the game, I have remained friends with, but other then that.. I fight the urge to know because all it does is mess up the game, making things go all weird and takes the suspense out of the game for me.

So if anyone that I do talk to take offense when I don't answer your questions when asked what is going on with a certain char, I do apologize, but this makes things easier for me.

I actually know exactly what you mean. Not with you, of course! LOL But this has happened to me twice.

[SumBum]

I've had a couple "break ups" with friends of my chars that were very saddening/angering/stressful to me as the player, too. As for intimate relationships, there was one on my first acct and it ended because I lost interest in the game - I still miss that char and his wife.

It's not a gut-wrenching emotion, but I do feel sad when I hear of certain chars' deaths even if my own weren't even acquaintances with them. Just knowing Cantr has lost a well-played character is disheartening sometimes.

[mojomuppet]

It doesnt bother me if it's a male or female player on the other end. What does bother me is a lazy player that just nods or repeats what I rp.

I have cried over losing mates for my chars, and cried for being the mate that was lost, though Im not as emotional about it now, it still gives me pause. I was wreck when one of my char's lost her mate FOR DAYS, It took her years to get over it and if someone brought it up it would probably send her into that same rage again.

[the_antisocial_hermit]

I have had one gut-wrenching, dramatic break up I guess. But although I was really sad for the character, I wasn't as attached to her as I am some others of mine, so I didn't feel as strongly as I would've for another.

There was another that wasn't really a break up but a chance taken too late that was really heart breaking. I was really sad for her too, but though she was my favorite at the time, it didn't hurt me as much since she made the mistake of waiting too long.

Most of my others' relationships ended in death and there were a few that I was personally really heartbroken by... I might have even shed a tear or two.

I don't care who is playing the character- whether male or female or anything.

[Doug R.]

I'm sure cantrlady, were she still with us, could give you all a good talking to about wrenching in-game breakups. Her character, Eve Desmond's, was the stuff of legend.

[Miri]

All my other relationships that ended, ended with death - usually of my charrie

Yeah, thanks a lot. My character still hasn't found a replacement, unless close friends count.

Aww, come on that was a cross, nothing personal. Compare it to one of DustPuppy's charries, who I've made widower twice, in both cases my charrie being killed by the same group *sniffs and hugs Dust's charrie plushie*

[mojomuppet]

I have one char that has lost two mates, needless to say she is now not so sensitive, but does like a pretty face

[Genevieve]

I'm sure cantrlady, were she still with us, could give you all a good talking to about wrenching in-game breakups. Her character, Eve Desmond's, was the stuff of legend.

She was SUCH A GREAT MOM too though her son didn't like it so much when she took a new husband, we'll just put it that way.

I really miss that family.

In a way I guess this goes with the conversation. When I unsub'd because of the major stuff going on in my life last time, I cried for SEVERAL of my characters deaths but I think Sean the most...I knew I would miss him and his mom and the girl he loved and the region. I knew it would never be the same even when I came back...and it isn't and I still miss that whole beautiful dynamic.