The X Support Group

[RedQueen.exe]

I don't say this to be mean, but this thread seems a little insenstive.

One of my strategies when supporting someone is to try not to act like I know how they feel. While each story has repeated itself in the general sense many times throughout human, and cantr history, the details of each make them unique. Nobody wants that uniqueness stolen from them, particularly when the pain is still fresh, by having people make comparisons against it.

That isn't to say that sharing your own stories and experiences aren't valuable to that person. If you share them though, don't give general summaries about how often you have gone through rough times. Pick one that you feel the strongest about, and express the hell out of it to them. Give them the raw details, your deep feelings about what happened. If you bring yourself to the brink of tears all over again, all the better. People don't want to know that you hurt the same way they did, they just want to know that you hurt too.

Resist the urge to say "but I came back" or "but I got over it". The fact that you are still around already says it, and more gently and eloquently than can be done with words.

On that note, thank you so much to Mitch and SumBum yesterday. My dead char had so many feelings, inspirations, and motivations all shared with so few that it felt like an utter tradgedy for them to just disappear and die inside my own head. I just wanted to let someone know, peel that veil back to reveal what was inside, because she rarely did. Her story burned so intensely but so slowly, which is how she held my heart as a character so firmly for so long. I don't regret the decision I made, but you two helped me validate all the love I've had for that character for all my time playing, and how disproportionately I gave it all to her.

[RedQueen.exe]

On another point, the ones who have recently been tempted to or have quit that I am aware of are because of injustices, not losses. Injust mechanics, hypocritical players, and unequal punishmentments meted out to players.

Much of that can't or shouldn't be discussed on the forums right now, but a support thread isn't going to help with those issues. Plans to fix the problems will, even though they are difficult issues that the staff has been struggling with for some time already.

That segment of the playerbase needs to know that these concerns are being taken seriously, and that those concerns aren't being trivialized.

[EchoMan]

...and unequal punishmentments meted out to players...

Would you mind telling me what your source is for coming to this conclusion?

[RedQueen.exe]

...and unequal punishmentments meted out to players...

Would you mind telling me what your source is for coming to this conclusion?

I mean, people told me that they felt that way, do you want names? The people with concerns have already raised them, and their perceptions themselves are the issue. I imagine it can be hard to deal with, when they are difficult issues to manage and people don't always recognize the difficulty of managing them.

I can give you my own account of things privately, but I'm not sure it helps. It is all information that you already have, know better than I do, and doesn't change anything for me personally anyway.

[Doug R.]

No one outside of the players department should have any idea of what punishments were meted out. If there is a PD member leaking confidential information, or stirring up trouble behind the department's back, of course I want names.

I mean, people told me that they felt that way

Feelings are just that, feelings. They don't need basis in fact to occur. I can personally attest that:

1) Nothing improper occurred regarding the death in question
2) The player you keep alluding to was punished in just accordance to their violation and was allowed to continue to play under restrictions which were met and are still in effect.

I am telling you that your (and others) feelings on this matter are not based in fact. You cannot see the whole picture, nor can we show it to you. There is no way we can combat your inaccurate perceptions without violating the core principles that have kept this game safe and fair for nearly 10 years. I, and the rest of the Players Department, are tired of veiled hints of impropriety or incompetence, and they will no longer be tolerated. I am locking this thread.