Abstinence

[viktor]

i'm honestly sick of celibacy, i hate it. i'm 28 bloody years old!!!!!
sure i could go rent some but you know what, i just can't it turns me off it's gross, i want the real deal and i wonder if that even exists anymore.
for more than a decade the most of my attention has been towards finding someone who i could feel love for, be attracted to both physically and personality. someone who wnat to find soemone to love and marry and soemone who would be a good mother to our children to be.

but alas here i am looking at the calendar, 30 is looming over my head less than 2 short years away and i don't even have a girlfriend let alone the prospect of having a kid anytime soon.

i'm a patient man but i am almost 30!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my patience is about gone and because of it i am likely turning a lot less disirable a man for most women than i used to be.
it's getting to the point where i'm about ready to give up looking for love and just find a serrogate to have a child for me and maybe then my patience will return to find an actual relationship. maybe the cute baby i puish around in a stroller would help too, girls love babies right?


sorry ranting just been on my head so much the past few months. i been told by some women i sould like i'm going thrugh menopause with the hot flashes and the absolute need to have children constantly in the forefront of my mind.

i went out with a cold hearted gold digger that was a challenge to get a hug from sometimes. ya 7 months of that crap? why did i stay with her? i'm still suffereing from the financial hole! that wore as i treated her like a queen while she treated me like a sharp piece of curb you use to scrape the dog #### off your shoes with.

you can see now why i care very little right now about an actual relationship and just want to start a family with or withut a lady at my side.
hell i'd stay celibate and have serrogates for all 3 of my kids if i had to, better that than to sleep around with the wrong gal and get aids cuz she didn't know she caught it or refused to get checked.


yes my mind has been in agony the past few months

not that any of what i wrote would make sense to the average person but i wrote it anyways to vent, have a nice day

[Dust Puppy]

Thanks for that post viktor, I´ve wondered how to reply to Seko´s post without just simply saying...

You can bet your sorry ass that if you give on first date, you won't be seeing the guy again.

... I hope you have a few spare asses, or don´t gamble.

Seriously, leave the pigeonholes to the pigeons. There are people like viktor, and all kinds of other people, and people like those Seko described, but the latter ones won´t suddenly change just because they are "left hanging". They might agree to a relationship just to get sex, but who would want to be in such a fake relationship? Everyone knows that pressuring someone into sex is bad, but why do some people act as if pressuring someone into a relationship is a good thing? Maybe viktor´s dream girl is just at this moment busy trying to change her asshole boyfriend instead of meeting viktor, while the easy girls are bored because too many assholes are stuck in relationships. Doesn´t make sense to me...
I think that voluntary abstinence doesn´t harm anyone, and consensual sex doesn´t harm anyone (if you know how to use protection), but throw in pressure and I´m almost inclined to risk my own sorry ass and bet that people will be miserable.

[SekoETC]

Don't take things so seriously, of course I am exaggerating. It's just like saying all men are potential rapists. No reason to stuff peas in your nose over it. Sure there might be guys who are all "hooray, this girl gives, I'll be sure to see her often!" And a guy who leaves after getting sex on first date doesn't necessarily do it because he loses interest after one fuck, but because he thinks the girl isn't looking for an in-depth relationship because she didn't bother getting to know him better.

[Dust Puppy]

Ah, okay. Maybe I was a bit shocked to read something not-quite-so-intelligent from you.
I still think that playing mind games is not such a good way to start a serious relationship, or that gender has anything to do with what you want from other people. But I don´t really like peas, especially up my nose, and this is off-topic anyway, so I´ll better stop now.

[the_antisocial_hermit]

I understand your garble Vik. I guess I'm not the average person though.

She was a b*tch. I don't know how you stuck with her either after all that shit she put you through. Sometimes I wished I could throttle her for ya. She was no good, and you deserve much better.

[gejyspa]

Yeah, I know, this is an old and dead thread, but I'm a new player, so....deal with it.

I waited until I married my wife. I was almost 29 (we got married three days before my birthday). And you know what? I never regretted it. That was some 19 years ago, and we have 5 wonderfu...we have 5 kids, and our love (and sex) is still going strong. Waiting until marriage is certainly still an option, despite societal and peer pressure saying it's not. So I'm here to give some peer pressure on the other side
--gejyspa
P.S. When is cantr going to be back up? I have had 56 hours of withdrawal from it so far!

[Rebma]

LOL.. I think it's a little late for me..

[SekoETC]

I've been without sex (or okay, without intercourse since sex is such a broad term) for five years and I don't feel like I'm missing anything. But I suppose I learned something from those times I had when I was 18 to 20 years old and I'm glad I didn't get pregnant or catch an STD.

[Arlequin]

As you grow older you wonder what was all the drama about.

[Diego]

Sex is far too special to entangle it with the vulgarities of marriage.

[Armulus Satchula]

I'm under the opinion you should try everything with your spouse before you get married. Sex, living together, etc. You should know what you are getting into and if you can deal with the quality of life around those things.

[SekoETC]

But back in the day marriages were mostly arranged, people only had a small pool of candidates to choose from and people stuck together, they learned to solve problems and learned to tolerate each other so that in the end they had come accustomed to each other. While currently people have access to a pretty much endless pool of candidates due to the Internet, and wider social circles and traveling, so you could always be wondering if this is the right person for me or if there's another better one right behind the corner. Then you might end up sleeping with people to test them out, end up splitting up because it wasn't perfect and end up being way up in your thirties before you decide to go solid with someone just because you're getting desperate - in fact, this reminds me of the game Alter Ego. In there it was awfully difficult to get a good relationship because if you tried to find a person with all or most of the stats that met your liking, you might end up in the next age category where you can't go back to dating the friends from college or work or whatever since your social circles have become separate. Okay, my thoughts are starting to drift. But I think it's better to stick together and try to work things out unless the person makes you unhappy more often than they make you happy.

[AlchemicRaker]

Back in the day of arranged marriages, and last generation in general, divorce wasn't very acceptable. Many teens now don't care about abstinance, and divorce is much more widely acceptable.

[Doug R.]

so you could always be wondering if this is the right person for me or if there's another better one right behind the corner.

Honestly, if you're thinking that, then you shouldn't be getting married in the first place. I knew my spouse was my life-mate a few weeks into dating her. I know this is probably a rare thing, but my point is, if you have any uncertainties and you get married anyway, there's a truck load of trouble heading your way.

[gejyspa]

But Seko is not wrong. If you go into a marriage thinking, "Oh, hey, I can always back out if anything is wrong", then there is no impetus to solve problems. Of course you want to date, and see if you are heading in the same general life goals, but that doesn't mean you need to "test out the merchandise". The goal of dating should be to see if you can live your whole life with that person (and yes, like Doug, I knew the answer fairly early on. We were engaged in 3 months, and married in 7 months from the time we first talked on the phone).

--gejyspa