Re: Funny IC quotes
Posted: Wed Sep 09, 2015 4:08 am
Copying that quote and searching for 'ass' yields 51 results.
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4104-2: Dash says: "*She squats down on the ground and looks around with a funny smile.*""
4104-2: Massy says: "Hi thier miss! Im Massy, welcome toTircqi!"
4104-2: Tom says: "*he grins, kisses Massy's cheek, then smiles at the young woman* Hi, I'm Tom, welcome! What's your name?"
4104-2: Dash says: "Welcome! Name!"
4104-2: Tom says: "*he speaks a bit slower* Do you have a name, miss?"
4104-2: Massy says: "*she crouches beside the girl* Im Massy. *she points to herself* You? *she points to the woman*"
4104-2: Dash says: "You? *She smiles wider and points at herself.*"
4104-2: Massy says: "*she giggles* No, what's your NAME? *she points again*"
4104-2: Massy says: "*she looks up at Tom* Tommy, can ya get her some clothes?"
4104-2: Dash says: "Name! *She dashes into the potato patch.* Hahahaha!"
4104-2: Massy says: "*she looks at the woman, wide eyed, then back up at Tom* I dont think she has a name!"
4104-2: Massy says: "*she stands up, dusting herself off* I think we should name her!"
4104-2: You see Dash take some tomatoes.
4104-2: Massy says: "*she goes back over to the woman* Want a name?"
4104-2: Dash says: "Name!"
4104-2: Massy says: "Hmm... Okay, im gonna think of a nice name for you."
4104-2: Dash says: "Okay!"
4104-2: Massy says: "How about... Pita? Or Terra? Or maybe Pam?"
4104-2: Massy says: "Or! Snapple?"
4104-2: Lumi Canta says: "She looks like her name is Dash."
4104-2: Massy says: "Dash? Thats cool too!"
4104-2: Dash says: "Dash!"
4104-2: Massy says: "Okay! Your new name is officially Dash!"
4104-2: Dash says: "*She smiles with her mouth open.*"
4104-2: Massy says: "*she giggles and ruffles the girls hair* "
4104-2: Lumi Canta says: "I'm Lumi Canta. *she smiles*"
4104-2: You see Lumi Canta leaving the central area of Tircqi, entering Newspawn Storage.
4104-2: You see Lumi Canta entering Tircqi, coming from Newspawn Storage.
4104-2: Dash says: "Canta!"
4104-2: You see Lumi Canta give Dash an often-used wooden shield.
4104-2: Massy says: "*she bends down to the girls height* Your gonna need to have clothes on, Dash, okay?"
4104-2: Dash says: "'Kay? *She tilts her head to the side.*"
4104-2: Lumi Canta gives you hemp dress.
4104-2: Massy says: "*she points at the dress* Dress. Over tummy."
4104-2: Dash says: "*She stares at the dress in her hands.*"
4104-2: Massy says: "*she giggles* Want help?"
4104-2: Dash says: "*She spreads out the dress, still staring at it intensely, then points at Lumi.* Dress?"
4104-2: Massy says: "*she bursts out laughing* Yes, dress..."
4104-2: Dash says: "*She manages to pull the dress on but it goes on backwards. She doesn't seem to notice the difference.*"
4104-2: Massy says: "*she covers her mouth to stop the giggles* N-No, silly... Thats wrong."
4104-2: Massy says: "*she points to her own clothes* See? This is the front."
4104-2: Dash says: "*It takes her a while to figure it out but finally manages to turn the dress the right way around.*"
4104-2: Massy says: "*she smiles* Perfect Dash!"
4104-2: Tom says: "*he grins, watching what's going on*"
4104-2: Dash says: "Per-fict!"
4104-2: Massy says: "*she smiles* Yup."
4104-2: Massy says: "Dash, are you staying here? Ir leaving to explore?"
4104-2: You see Massy talking to Lumi Canta.
4104-2: Tom says: "*he chuckles* Hey, don't encourage her to leave, yet!"
4104-2: Massy says: "Im not! I want her to stay, she's funny"
4104-2: Dash says: "*She continues digging up potatoes, ignoring the question.*"
4104-2: Massy says: "*she grins* I take that as a yes! So, your pretty funny, Dash. I hope you stay here for a long time."
4104-2: June says: "*sniffs different people she hasn't before*"
4104-2: Massy says: "*she looks at the sniffing woman* Hi! Im Massy. *she giggles*"
4104-2: June says: "June"
4104-2: Massy says: "*she smiles* Thats a pretty name."
4104-2: Tom says: "*he smiles* Hiya, June! How are you?"
4104-2: Tom says: "Still doing good on the fishing?"
4104-2: June says: "*nods holding up a fish* Fiss!"
4104-2: Tom says: "*he smiles* good."
4104-2: Massy says: "*she grimaces at the fish* Ew, raw fish gross me out."
4104-2: June says: "*frowns at Massy* Fiss dood"
4104-2: Tom says: "*he chuckles* "
4104-2: Dash says: "Fiss!"
4104-2: Lumi Canta says: "Yes June, fish is good! And I'm happy to see you fish again."
4104-3: June says: "*wanders around swimming a fish through the air*"
4104-3: Massy says: "*she glances at June, and giggles* What are you doing?"
4104-3: Tom says: "*he bites his lip slightly, just shortly getting distracted by June, then turns back to Massy*"
4104-3: You see Tom talking to Massy.
4104-4: June says: "*swims the fish over to Massy* simmin"
4104-4: Tom says: "*he grins a bit at June* Having fun?"
4104-4: Tom says: "*he then nods at Massy slowly*"
4104-4: Massy says: "*she squeals and runs away* No June! Fish are yucky."
4104-4: June says: "*watches Massy run away squealing, she cocks her head in confusion*"
4104-4: Massy says: "*she hides behinde Tom* Save me from the fish!"
4104-4: June says: "*drops the fish and bounds over to Leilani* Leelah!!"
4104-5: You see a horse attack Dash.
4104-5: You see June awkwardly hurt a horse using a new war hammer.
4104-7: You see Dash expertly hurt a horse using a bare fist.
4104-7: Dash says: "Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeey!"
4104-7: Lumi Canta says: "Hello Dash, how are you today?"
4104-7: Dash says: "Today! *She runs over to give her a hug.*"
4105-0: Lumi Canta says: "*she chuckles and gives her a warm hug back*"
4105-0: Lumi Canta says: "Maybe you and June can be good friends?"
4105-0: Dash says: "Frends! *She smiles widely.*"
4105-0: Massy says: "*she grins* That was an evil horse"
4105-0: Dash says: "Evil hoss..."
4105-0: Massy says: "*she smiles* But shields will protect you."
4105-0: Massy says: "*she whisles as she works*"
4105-0: Tom says: "*he grins* I think we're going to like you, Dash."
4105-0: Massy says: "*she smiles* Yeah!"
2650-0: Emperor Kentosani says: "*He quickly moves to catch her in
his arms as her frail body falls over the edge* "
2650-0: You say: "*she manages to remain on the edge just a little
longer, but then leans to the side, tumbling down for real, to the side
of the church*"
2650-0: Emperor Kentosani says: "*He readies himself under her to
catch* "
2650-0: Emperor Kentosani says: "I have lived with Donii my whole
life, and this is not something she would preach Naomi, you are a fine
young woman with a fire in your heart. I saw that the day you stood up
for me and it made me think about my life."
2650-0: You say: "*slowly she tumbles over*"
2650-0: You say: "Mmm...mother... Donii.... *she smiles through the
tears that flow from her eyes, streaming down her pale cheeks, while
looking down at everyone* Mother... dooonniii...."
2650-0: Emperor Kentosani says: "In fact, the festival is supposed to
start now, on my birthday no less. "
2650-0: Emperor Kentosani says: "Nothing but the sadness of this town
on the eve of a glorious celebration."
2650-0: Emperor Kentosani says: "*He looks up at her, oblivious to
the rice falling over him* What will that achieve Naomi?"
2650-0: You say: "*she pours rice down, decorating the vomit-covered
floor some more* Ddon't... or I ... *she crawls as close to the edge as
she can without falling, and holds a knife to her throat* DON'T...."
2650-0: Emperor Kentosani says: "Jump and I will catch you...it's a
single story. "
2650-0: You drop 1000 grams of rice.
2650-0: You say: "*she is near the door, but suddenly, with all the
energy and breath she has left, she makes her way back on top of the
church from behind, muttering things about "Donii" and "Mother". After
she is back on top, she crawls to the railing, breathing her last
breaths* Dddddon't.... come.... or.... jump!"
2650-0: Emperor Kentosani says: "*He taps her cheek lightly* Where is
the women who didn't take shit, who berated and belittled me in public?
Where is she huh?"
2650-0: You say: "*she holds on to his arm in an attempt to get his
help, while slowly she walks further* Is...kay...."
2650-0: Emperor Kentosani says: "*He moves to step in front of her*
Naomi"
2650-0: You say: "Need.... say.... *she gasps for air several times,
slowly walking to the church* Donii... c-can...."
2650-0: You enter Zuzi, where you see 41 people, leaving Imperial
Army Base.
2650-0: You see Emperor Kentosani leaving Imperial Army Base,
entering Zuzi.
2650-0: Emperor Kentosani says: "*He opens the door for her* "
2650-0: You say: "JUS DO!! *she gasps for air* KEN-... BEF... T...
LATE...."
2650-0: Emperor Kentosani says: "You ran out of the church Naomi, why
do you want to go back now for?"
2650-0: You say: "FIRS, CHURCH! PWEESE! I DIE... YOUR FAULT! *she
looks in his eyes, a new spark of energy seeming to be forming in her*
NAW!"
2650-0: Emperor Kentosani says: "*He rests his hand on her shoulder,
squeezing lightly* Naomi..Naomi"
2650-0: You say: "PWEEES! NEED MOTHER! *her speech becomes a bit more
audible, but still hard to hear, her breathing is worse though, being
barely able to do so* Church... CHURCH!"
2650-0: Emperor Kentosani says: "No. You ran out of it, so why put
you back."
2650-0: You say: "*she shakes her head quickly* MOTHER! *she races to
the door and scrapes her nails against the door* Ch--chuuuuuurch! *she
hisses*"
2650-0: Emperor Kentosani says: "*He holds out a handful of rice to
her* "
2650-0: Emperor Kentosani gives you 1000 grams of rice.
2650-0: Emperor Kentosani says: "*He breaks free of her frail grasp,
shaking his head* The first thing you need is food."
2650-0: You say: "AH NEEWD... CHURCH.... MOTWAH.... DONNY! "
2650-0: Emperor Kentosani says: "*He looks into her eyes* I need what
Naomi? What has happened to you?"
2650-0: You say: "EMPWOW.... NEED.... THE MOTWAH.... *she stands and
clasps her arms around his chest* PLEA.... MOTWAH."
2649-7: You see Emperor Kentosani entering Imperial Army Base, coming
from the central area of Zuzi.
2649-7: You are being dragged by man, Emperor Kentosani to Imperial
Army Base where you see 1 people, from the central area of Zuzi.
2649-7: man says: "*grabs a hold of Naomi again, wrestling her
towards the base*"
2649-7: Emperor Kentosani says: "*He grabs her from behind, wrapping
his arms around and pinning hers to her sides* "
2649-7: Emperor Kentosani says: "Restrain her, let's get her into the
base. "
2649-7: You say: "*she growls loudly as she is being dragged,
scratching anyone getting near with her long, sharp nails. Her skin
pale, and a dead look in her eyes* Grawmmw..."
2649-7: You say: "*her eyes widen in panic and she forces her nails
into his arms, scratching maniacally, muttering more and more inaudible
stuff* Bwaw... wayy... dawn!..."
2649-7: man says: "*scrambling up the back, quickly approaches Naomi
from behind, attempting to pull her away from the edge before she sees
him*"
2649-7: Milan says: "*he watches everything as it happens, sitting on
the harvester, quietly*"
2649-7: Emperor Kentosani says: "*He turns his head as the spew hits
the floor around him, some hitting him* Ariochus!"
2649-7: You say: "*she mutters something in a growl, turning her
more-bone-than-skin body, but then quickly clasping her arms around her
stomach as she pukes over the edge, down at the entrance*"
2649-7: You see Dekin Kerfer talking to Anita.
2649-7: Emperor Kentosani says: "*He braces himself ready to catch as
she sways on the edge* NAOMI! LISTEN TO ME!"
2649-7: man says: "*nods, slipping around the back*"
2649-7: You say: "*she murmurs some more, waving her arms in the air
suddenly, almost going a bit too far forward over the edge of the
church*"
2649-7: You see Emperor Kentosani talking to man.
2649-7: Emperor Kentosani says: "*He moves towards the door, looking
up at her yet close enough to act if she falls* Namoni, come down
please."
2649-7: Emperor Kentosani says: "*He nods* Be careful. "
2649-7: You see man talking to Emperor Kentosani.
2649-7: man says: "*watches her come out, and moves quickly to move
people away from the church*"
2649-7: You say: "*she mutters some stuff, while vomiting on the
stone at the entrance of church*"
2649-7: Emperor Kentosani says: "Naomi!"
2649-7: Emperor Kentosani says: "*He looks up at the movement,
gasping softly in shock* "
2649-7: You say: "*she stands in the doorway for a moment, then walks
around the Church's building, her eyes just barely open, and blood red.
Her mouth is hanging open, some vomit on the corners of her mouth. She
leans to the wall with her hands, and eventually disappears behind it,
only to appear on top of the church a little later, where she kneels
down on the edge of the church, in front of the entrance, looking down
at the mass of people*"
2649-7: Emperor Kentosani says: "*He smiles* Naomi. "
2649-7: You enter Zuzi, where you see 41 people, leaving The Mother`s
Church ().
2649-7: You are hungry.
2648-7: You say: "*she vomits all over the floor in the corner*"
2648-7: You are hungry.
2647-7: You are hungry.
2646-7: You are hungry.
2646-0: You say: "*she curls up in a corner*"
2645-7: You are hungry.
2644-7: You are hungry.
2643-7: You are hungry.
from the radio: "Miss... miss Aubergine.. if.. you can hear me? *the voice is quiet* I'm.. I'm guessing you don't want me to drive you any more so... *her voice softens sadly* I'm... I just wanted to say I enjoyed helping you and.. to thank you. *there's a long pause* I'll.. I'll make sure to give your ring to someone that appreciates it."
Aubergine says: "Ugh SHUT UP."
Aubergine says: "Mumumumumusss Abbygin boo fuckin' hoo! *stomps a sandal down on the
muddy passenger seat, poking a head out the window* Why we here? "
Lady says: "*she taps the blindfold* Say something complicated about how, since they took my sight, the gods gave me the gift of foresight or clairvoyance or--*she makes an expression of inspiration* We'll make some mystical name up for it! Like...*thinks for a moment* The 'dromonde' *her tone is mystical and she spreads out her arms, ruining the effect with a chuckle after a moment*"
Avren says: "*she watches Lady with an amused expression* Dunno if Auby's really up to saying complicated things, most days. You'd have to get somebody to write up advertisements. "
Lady says: "We can have rates, too. This much for a basic palm reading, this much more for a love ceremony, this much more for a lengthy vision quest or something. *turning to Avren, shrugging* Doesn't matter. You or even myself can be our own advertiser. Aubergine can be the mystic that helped me utilize my powers, and, of course, takes the offerings to the gods in payment."
Lady says: "*raises her brows over the blindfold* And, of course, she can set the prices."
Lady says: "*turns towards Avren, then Aubergine, waiting expectantly*"
Avren says: "And Aubergine, again...there's a tavern here. And a saloon being built right down the road. *she grins* Bet you could work something out with Olivia...being paid in booze for gracing the town with your presence, and for being Madame Lady, uh, agent."
Lady says: "Manager? *she suggests helpfully*"
Aubergine says: "*stretches out her slender sausages to file off the ends of those chalky nails, listening with the patience of a sheep, the feigned disinterest of a queen, and the arrogance of none other than a fortunetelling dwarf* Huh. *reaches out to Brandy for a makeout session of alcoholic proportions, and his best friend Cider to wash it down (it being a combination of high quality dwarf saliva, yesterday's meal and whatever it is that's making her look so sour)... finally she looks a little bit more awake, almost presentable* You gone mock my trade? *holds up both hands lest they might protest, nodding* OK. But ain't gone be on main sign. Second sign, maybe. My business, my name. *grumbles something about gold diggers before waddling to the door, but stopping* My name. Yes?"
....
Aubergine says: "*marches back and forth, practising her tambourine while murmuring in dark enthusiasm* Come, come, got no eyes, Madame Lady... read you hand, smack you wife, solve all marriage. *continues practising variations of that speech* Gift of the dromedary, also Avren camel face-- *glares at her* --real fucken voodoo?"
First Lady says: "*She cackles insanely and spits blood, fighting dirty and using elbows as well as fists, knocking (second ladys) hat off in the scuffle* I'm not impressed yet, ya cheap copy of a crook!"
Second Lady says: "*at the loss of the hat, she seems to go totally berserk, grabbing (first lady's) head by a handful of the frizz attached to it and slamming it into the ground with a wordless screech of fury*"
Second Lady says: "IF YA TOUCH ME FAKKIN 'AT AGAIN I'LL FAKKIN KILL YA!"
First Lady says: "*She wriggles out of the hold, leaving a hunk of frizz behind, and sinks her teeth into (second lady's) arm* Mmf AH', ff mff ah fahhffa!"
Second Lady says: "*she ignores the blood flowing from the wound and grabs (First Lady's) around the throat, squeezing* NO ONE TOUCHES ME FAKKIN 'AT! NO! ONE! TOUCHES IT!"
First Lady says: "*She spits again, directly into (Second Lady's) face* Fuck... ya taste like... year-old... moldy CHEESE! *She splutters and chokes, then socks her right in the eye*"
*Wiro wrote:There. Interesting. Not exactly a difficult solution.
Mr. No-Fun says: "*he looks up quickly* Heard what? I heard a while back that he wasn't well... nothing since."
Fabulous Man says: "Hmm? Mr. No-Fun's friend croaked."
Fabulous Man says: "*he eyes Mustached Man appraisingly* So Mustached Man, as my sidekick and business parter, do you think the Fabulous Health and Beauty Co. should focus more on health or on beauty? I'm thinking there's a range of possible products in the health division..."
Mr. No-Fun says: "*he looks out from the harbour, speaking with menacing quiet* You would do well to speak more respectfully of him in my hearing. "
Fabulous Man says: "*he continues speaking to Mustached Man* Hair growth cream--we can take some of your mustache and use it for the magic ingredient--penis enlargement, aphrodisiacs, personal, um, massage devices... We can carve them out of wood. *he makes a phallic gesture with his hands*"
Mustached Men says: "Mr. No-Fun, good sir, Fabulous Man is not respectful of anyone or anything. *shrugs* You get used to it."
Mustached Men says: "I fear only Drunken Dwarf rivals him in crassness."
Mustached Men says: "*turns to Fabulous Man* I object to causing harm to my wondrous mustache."
Fabulous Man says: "Please, I'm only rude to people who deserve it. It's not my fault everyone deserves it."
Mr. No-Fun says: "He may not live long enough for me to get used to it. "
Fabulous Man says: "Surely you trim it sometimes?"
Fabulous Man says: "*he raises a disbelieving eyebrow at Mr. No-Fun* Are you threatening to kill me because I had the good manners to inform you of your friend's death?"
Mustached Men says: "My mustache is surely a magical thing, always perfect. *poses dramatically*"
Mr. No-Fun says: "*evenly* No, I'm threatening to kill you because you spoke of my dead friend flippantly, as if he were not important. You see the difference, I hope?"
Fabulous Man says: "Don't you think that's a little, you know, extreme?"
Fabulous Man says: "Maybe you should go join the Unfun Knights. I hear they have openings. You'd fit right in."
Woman says: "He was already informed. *Her voice is about as quiet as Mr. No-Fun's, but lacks the menacing quality.* But I don't believe your fine manners are helping. *She sidesteps so she's between Mr. No-Fun and the window, facing the former.*"
Mr. No-Fun says: "Extreme would be locking you up and torturing you for a few years. Killing you would fall well short of extreme."
Marian wrote:I know the giant GTFO post is going to get all the attention, so I just want to pause a moment and say that this:Fabulous Man says: "*he continues speaking to Mustached Man* Hair growth cream--we can take some of your mustache and use it for the magic ingredient--penis enlargement, aphrodisiacs, personal, um, massage devices... We can carve them out of wood. *he makes a phallic gesture with his hands*"
Is hilarious. Why has no one else ever thought of carving um...massage devices?
Aubergine Parkinson says: "*marches back and forth in the van in a panic only cured by liberal drinks of brandy*"