Funny or interesting IC quotes

[Marian]

Ignatius says: "*stares unblinkingly with all the cold disdain of a winter storm that is freezing your ass to death in the frigid mountains of Treefeather*"

I want to sig this.

[iavatus]

Next batch! Starring everyones favourite midget.

Aubergine says: "*biting the head of a sausage, the dwarf walks into town like she owns the place* COME, COME. *threatens local bystanders with the sujuk meat (counting both the sausage handled and the bits of poorly chewed meat splattering out of her mouth), a little stepladder not far behind (and its trail clear where the legs dig deep, careless burrows in the earth)* REAL magic. Come, come! *tosses the ladder down, and converts it into a merchant's stall displaying mostly ugly rings of old copper*"

Aubergine says: "*articulates proudly; that is, she's yelling loudly at you* WANNA BE RICH? BUY A RING. Come, come. *taps her tambourine against her hip, the old wood groaning painfully as the discs clatter to draw the attention* STUPID WIFE? Dumb as three teats? RING OF SMARTS. Talk too much? Buy some REAL magic drink, two drop and she shut up! Ain't got a wife? SELLING REAL PORN STORY. *waves about an erotic publication titled "Erectus Maximus Publications: Storm-cloud Sensations"* Come, come!"

Ignatius says: "*he stares at Aubergine when her back is turned, then after a long moment waves* H, hello there! I'm the renowned Ignatius Maximilian Fairmont, a puissant warrior and the local expert on masculinity. *he retreats over to Avren and whispers loudly* She's so little! Look how she stumps around! How adorable... I've never seen a tiny person before!"

Avren says: "*whispering to Ignatius* I know! She's just so weird-looking...me and Lion saw her back in Olipnoth one time, freaked me right the hell out. Completely drunk and incoherent stubby little short person..."

John Stone says: "*twirls his mustache, standing proudly in his bloodstained Olip T-shirt*"

Scyllo says: "I'm Scyllo. You must be Avren? You're all the buzz in San D'Oria these days; its a pleasure to meet you."

Shaudawn says: "*He stands, a blush reddening his face* Raaj. Forgive me. I have... not been as wakeful these last days. I admit it disturbs me greatly. Perhaps I should ask if you have good medicine to help with that sometime. *He blinks a few times and smiles, waving.* Aubergine Parkinson. It is good to have your spirit back. I see you have picked up more companions. Greetings, Trip and...curious man who checked out many of our buildings... *He chuckles* "

Scyllo says: "*somewhat defensively* "You notice a lot for someone who sleeps so much."

Ignatius says: "*whispering to Avren* I know she's weird-looking, but she's kind of cute, don't you think? Look at her walk around! And the way she talks! It's kind of gross, but... I kind of like it..."

Shaudawn says: "And greetings to you as well, Abbilyn. Again, I apologize for not being awake. And I am only so in small bursts, it seems. Raaj? If you need to carry out your task, go ahead and I can catch up with you when we are both in a good place. *He nods to Scyllo* Ah. Scyllo. Yes. Sometimes, I notice so much, it keeps me asleep longer. *He frowns.* "

Avren says: "*continuing to whisper from the building across the street* Well that's... *glancing briefly at Aubergine, brow furrowed* ...sort of weird, and I would have been okay with you not mentioning that, ever. But, since you have, why not go for it? She's got a van full of guys already, but none are as manly as you, or wear deadly spikes on their feet. You'll sweep her right off her gross stunted little feet, I believe in you Igs! "

Avren says: "Oh, and hey Shaudawn! Glad you're up. You'd been quiet, I figured you were having another one of those inconvenient little impossible to avoid sleepy spells. "

Avren says: "...maybe Aubergine has a ring for that. You should ask her."

Ignatius says: "*whispering to Avren* No no no, I don't mean like that! Gosh don't get the wrong idea! I mean cute like...a puppy!"

Trip says: "*clears his throat* Ignatius, you seem to have frightened the voice right out of me. But that cowardice was only temporary. An expert in masculinity you say? How about a test of skill?"

Ignatius says: "*he cocks an eyebrow at Trip* What kind of test?"


Trip says: "Well, for starters we could spare. However, as we all know, technique certainly isn't everything. So a test of strength as well? Perhaps we can find someone in the town who is very strong, and see who can pull them?"

You enter Olip Prime, where you see 19 people, leaving SyoCast Studios ~Est. 2508~.

You enter The Quilla Krang Memorial Center for Newspawns, where you see 3 people, leaving the central area of Olip Prime.

You see Ignatius being dragged by Avren Banner from The Quilla Krang Memorial Center for Newspawns to Olip Prime.

Scyllo says: "Haha, Avren, you should enter this 'test of masculinity' yourself!"

Avren says: "Deadly spike off, Ignatius, go! *hustles him outside* Puncture his lungs! No mercy!"

Aubergine says: "*absorbed in whatever filth she's reading, tongue flicking hungrily across her lips she waves a dismissive do-not-disturb hand at Trip*"

Avren says: "*shaking her head* No, I'm actually not that strong, really. Anyone could do that. You should try, it's pretty fun."

Ignatius says: "Whoa! Hands off, Avren. I thought we agreed that manhandling me without asking was rude. I know I'm irresistible, but please try to contain yourself."

Ignatius says: "As for you, Trip, I'm afraid I must decline, as revealing the secrets bestowed to me by my martial order would require killing you afterwards, and I do dislike needless bloodshed. I think instead we should have a fashion design contest. A true man is one who's well-dressed."

Avren says: "*looking down sadly* I'm sorry Ignatius. I just could not contain myself. But really, I figure you're used to it by now."

Ignatius says: "*he scowls ferociously at Avren* This is sexual harassment, you know! Do not touch the Ignatius!"

Ignatius says: "*he shakes himself self-importantly*"

Scyllo says: "I think Trip prefers to express his masculinity without any clothes in the mix."

Ignatius says: "O...oh dear... *he raises first one eyebrow, then the other*"

Ignatius says: "Is this related to Aubergine's most...uh, distinctive wares?"

Trip says: "*He laughs, unashamed* Oh, that as well. We could have a test of sexual prowess, of course, for that we would need a willing judge, and a private room...for now, we can stick to sparring though. Do you have a waster, Ignatius?"

Aubergine (a woman in her forties) says: "*seems distracted all of a sudden by Ignatius' existence* Ugh! Where's you beard? You some kinda man-woman? Where Lisa? Need my cloths done. LISA? *wanders around, the wind whipping at her torn L&L skirt, and an awkward hand covering up the wine stain on her L&L shirt* EY?"

Ignatius says: "Man-woman?! No, you silly dwarf, I am the manliest of men! I do not feel the need to adhere to our culture's puerile gender norms in order to express myself! *a sneer*"

Ignatius says: "As for you, Trip, merely sparring with me is a dangerous activity. I do not wish to harm you, so I'll have to decline."

Lion says: "Yeah, now I think about it, why Avren? Why so singled out? *looks her over, up and down* I don't see the kick me sign."

Lion says: "Maybe it's simply alphabetical. A is for Avren, evidently it was her. Whatever the it was."

Avren says: "Aryn comes before Avren though. "

Avren says: "*pauses, frowning* ...possibly I should rephrase that."

Trip says: "Or it could be that they don't know what to think of me, and nobody wants to pick a fight with someone name Lion. It's a psychological deterrent. "

Avren says: "But seriously, a completely fictional story, peddled by an alcoholic, farting dwarf. Just because MAYBE someone might imagine some similarities to names or actual events...is that a thing to get worked up about? Lots of people have similar names, or do...similar events. "

Avren says: "Anyway....Olivia's asleep for days, Shaudawn is inside. We're the only ones guarding this town right now. Why are people trying to pick fights with the guards?"

Avren points at a brand new binoculars.

Avren says: "Got my nocs right here. Who's keeping a hawklike eye on the coast? Me. And then later Lion, when I fall asleep."

Trip says: "Are you expecting some sort of trouble?"

Avren says: "And who's prepared to spring instantly into action and drag Trip off into a closet should he suddenly start flinging porn at innocent newspawns? *gesturing* Again, us right here. "

Trip says: "Off into a closet, eh? Are there any newspawns? *peers around, eyes glittering with opportunity*"

Avren says: "*turns and stares over the water, letting the wind blow her hair dramatically across her face* And kid, we /always/ expect trouble."

Avren attacks Trip using a waster.

Avren says: "Lion, this kid is a menace. You hold him down, I'll go find some scissors or shears or something. Messy job, but we must think of the newspawns."

Trip says: "They'd better be big shears..."

Trip says: "Also, to be fair. I'm a newspawn..."

Lion says: "Sure, but I'm not sure how a haircut is going to settle him down some."

Trip says: "You'd just better not take the mustache. That stays."

Lion says: "Unless we trim rude words into his head. Like masticate, or hirsute, which would be nice and ironic."

[Marian]

Next batch! Starring everyones favourite midget.

Little person! Or maybe a dwarf is just a dwarf, even though that makes me think she should have a beard and a battle axe and a grudge against orcs, or at the very least be expected to die horribly from a lava pumping accident one day while munching on a +kitten tallow biscuit+.

Anyway, <3 Aubergine, I don't understand why quotes from her aren't popping up in this thread all the time.



Some newspawn:

4811-2.18: Bushido (a man in his twenties) says: "Yes hi I'm Bushido *he bows at the waist, completely unashamed at being naked* I do not need clothing I must condition my body to Excell in whatever environment I must conquer"

4811-2.18: You see Bushido (a man in his twenties) skillfully hurt Bushido (a man in his twenties) using a bare fist.

4811-2.18: Bushido (a man in his twenties) says: "*he punches himself as hard as he can right in the jaw*"

4811-2.18: Oscar (a man in his twenties) says: "... uh."

4811-2.18: Bushido (a man in his twenties) says: "I must feel no pain *he bends over panting, as sweat drips from his brow*"

4811-2.19: Bushido (a man in his twenties) says: "*he grimises in obvious pain, and he is bleeding from a small cut on his chin*"

4811-2.19: Bushido (a man in his twenties) says: "*he trues to hide the pain as he stands up tall* of course I have signed a contract and I will dress if that is what is required."

4811-2.19: Oscar (a man in his twenties) says: "... *He scoots away from the window.*"

4811-2.19: You see Bushido (a man in his twenties) efficiently hurt a dire wolf, a snow leopard using a bare fist.

4811-2.19: Bushido (a man in his twenties) says: "*he then attacks a wolf and punches it in the side causing it to wimper in pain as it is alone snd without a pack it runs off*"

4811-2.20: Bushido (a man in his twenties) says: "*just then a snow leapard is crouching behind some brush* *Bushido charges catching the large cat by suprise and manages to hit it in the flank as it jumps and runs*"

4811-2.20: Bushido (a man in his twenties) says: "It is better to strike first then be pounced upon!"

4811-3.01: Bushido (a man in his twenties) says: "*he closes his eyes in concentration, putting his hands together palms touching and fingers pointed skyward, and stands with legs slightly apart. He is facing the wilderness*"

I laughed.

[iavatus]

You enter a bright, open thread. Crudely scrawled on the wall, is THIS IS OUR THREAD, NO MINING, HUNTING OR EATING. 1066
Underneath, in more reasonable, rational lettering is, But feel free to post your own funny quotes.

Trip says: "Ignatius, that is. Well, I was thinking of writing an action-thriller. Sort of a flattering tell-all about a bold warrior completely destroying his foes. "

Ignatius says: "*he nods vigorously* This sounds like a wonderful adaptation of my life, Trip."

Trip says: "...and possibly his mustachioed sidekick. "

Ignatius says: "*continues nodding*"

Ignatius says: "This sounds like an appropriate role for John. I dig it, Trip."

Trip says: "Yes, he'll follow you around, occasionally assist, but mostly chase all the women, while you murder baddies."

Trip says: "That's murder the fuck out of, actually."

Ignatius says: "*nod nod nod nod* Yes, John's the womanizer in our relationship and I'm the badass. Very true to the source material."

John Stone says: "*twirls his mustache* I'm a lover, not a fighter."

Willow says: "*She squints, looking at the men speaking.* Uh."

Avren says: "Trip, I'm sorry but I'm going to have to demand you stop corrupting the only normal, well adjusted person on our crew, now. "

Trip says: "Which person would that be? John? I'm not even talking to him?"

Avren says: "Uh, I'd be referring to the girl, in the restaurant, whom you just mysteriously got the urge to visit."

Trip says: "Gah. Try to be a DISCREET porn-peddler and what do you get? "

Avren says: "Also I gave you a compound bow you asshole, you'd /better/ write me and my zombie army into that action story. And I want at LEAST one dramatic evil villain monologue and a chance to place Ignatius an elaborate death trap before I get taken down."

Trip says: "So you're saying the most normal person in your crew is the one who wanted to read porn for uh, research. "

Trip says: "Actually, that sounds about right, never mind."

Avren says: "Yes."

John Stone says: "I didn't realize there was any normal in this crew. I would have thought them to be mutually exclusive."

Trip says: "Only if it's a zombie sex-army."

John Stone says: "Perhaps that's somewhat like saying that Jesp was the most manly person on the Seahawk?"

Trip says: "Actually, I'm starting to like the idea of making you the villain of Ignatius's rampage. But of course, you'll have to die at the end. Ignatius could never lose."

Avren says: "Hmm. I guess Onyx is actually highly /abnormal/, in the sense that being normal is such a rare and weird and wonderful thing."

Trip says: "See? I'm just trying to help her fit in."

Avren says: "*nodding approvingly* And that's fine, Trip. *pausing and grimacing a bit* Uh, gonna have to veto the zombie sex, but I guess there can be one lesbian scene if you want to give Willow a cameo. And I'm okay with dying as long as I get that dramatic villain speech in. But...and just a bit of advice here, it's still your call...you should probably only have it /seem/ like I died, so you can bring me back for the sequel."

Avren says: "Ignatius needs an arch nemesis to mastermind the plots against him, and I humbly suggest I'm perfect for that role."

Trip says: "Sequel? Nonsense. That's hack writing. I won't sell out and kick a dead horse for more profit. That would be inexcusable. I have standards, you know."

Trip says: "But yes, I'll give Willow a cameo then."

Trip says: "I can't promise there won't be zombies sexing it up in the background of every other scene though."

Willow says: "Yaaay..."

John Stone says: "Falls off of not-so-sheer cliffs, burning buildings, and conveniently never finding the body can greatly extend the life of a villain."

Trip says: "No way. I'm not a sellout. "

Avren says: "But no, no, just picture this: I'm presumed dead, but ten years to the day he gets a request to deal with a situation in a nearby town. He's ambushed and knocked out cold, and when he comes to he's outside of a mysterious structure, covered in arcane runes, deep in the heart of Fu."

Avren says: "It's full of death traps, of course. Elaborate ones."

Avren says: "And a bunch of axefodder enemies for him to slash through, of course. *warming up to the subject* Oh! And every so often the scene shifts to me smugly observing that the /next/ obstacle will surely end him. While stroking a spoiled, fluffy animal of some kind if possible."

Willow says: "A rabbit."

Trip says: "Fine, I'll consider it, but it'll have to be a completely different genre."

Willow says: "It will be fantasy."

Avren says: "At the end, I am defeated, but before he can kill me I pull a lever that causes the entire tower to come crashing around us. Ignatius escapes, and I'm presumed dead, once again."

Trip says: "Or, it could be you stroking a Willow...That could work too. "

Avren says: "*nodding* Yes, yes, this is true. I mean, these are all just suggestions, feel free to take any artistic liberties needed."

Trip says: "Done."

Willow says: "Do not stroke me. I hiss."

John Stone says: "And here I was so hoping to be on the cover of a hundred raunchy tales."

John Stone says: "I would write them myself, but first off, it would be terribly narcissistic, and second off, I am a terrible writer."

Trip says: "Oh, you'll be in those too. Don't worry. "

Trip says: "But I am branching out from porn. "

[Marian]

Surely there are other people having fun or being funny, somewhere in the game.

[*Wiro]

I wanted to suggest to cdls to have a quotes feature as well on his site where you can submit funny or interesting quotes you encounter.

[Father Brian]

Surely there are other people having fun or being funny, somewhere in the game.

Sure there are, but we don't want to share our fun with the rest of you filthy casuals.

[iavatus]

That's a way of looking at it.

Another one, is to say hey, look at this cool thing I was a part of. See it's coolness? *whispering* It's very cool.

Even the foetid, fetid murder cellars, tell a story. Not a nice one, but at least it's something.

[Axiom]

I had a bunch of really hysterical shit happen to one of my characters recently, but I can't post it because it involves things like covering up a murder...

My murder cellar is the best murder cellar, btw.

[Kyriel]

It seems a bit narcissistic to post my own characters saying funny things, personally.

[Marian]

It seems a bit narcissistic to post my own characters saying funny things, personally.

Might as well, if the alternative is the thread just sitting here and collecting dust.

I wanted to suggest to cdls to have a quotes feature as well on his site where you can submit funny or interesting quotes you encounter.

And I really like this. Automatic anonymity without having to bug Armulus or Alladinsane all the time. And there's sooo much interesting, well RPed stuff happening out there that isn't necessarily laugh out loud funny.

It always boggles me, when people complain the game is 'boring now'.

[hyrle]

I, for one, really enjoy Aubergine. It takes a lot of courage to play someone who is different than the Cantr norm, and who goes completely against the standard culture of most of the game. I've played some that are "slightly different" but I am only just now trying a new one which is highly different. It's a challenge finding a way to communicate with everyone while staying in-character when your character has such a different style of communication.

[SekoETC]

Anonymous wrote:

The life of Aubergine Parkinson in quotes (also interesting to see how the emoting style changed). Not necessarily fun, but mainly intended to provide some background to the character that isn't otherwise recorded in the game. I intentionally kept it short because ain't nobody got time for that.

4396, the day she spawned. Aubergine: "*You might not notice this woman in her twenties. A lack of height and an abundance of anger tramples the sand as she carries herself into the village. The nails are yellow for both hand and foot, and while unclothed it is clear she has not yet had time to shave. Tiny obstacles dragged between her toes, the dwarf woman glares at her wiggling them, a terrible snarl on her hideous face.*"

4397. Troy says: "*glances at the small woman with a sigh* Aubergine, you gotta work on them manners. Don't blame you for being pissed off at the world. Ain't saying you gotta be friendly...just...maybe work on being a little more respectful. I ain't gonna jump to demands."

Spawned in the desert where she quickly picked up Troy's preference for brandy. Her greatest triumph was demanding a jeep until...

4529. Troy gives Aubergine key no. 13439522.
4529. Troy: "*flicks the key at Aubergine* There. I don't wanna hear no more bitching from you."

At this point there's nothing magical about her life. It's mostly toppling over statues of deities in an attempt to destroy Donii. I don't really have any interesting quotes from that part of her life so we'll open up a romantic chapter.

4532. Aubergine: "*scratches the meeting of her thighs absent-mindedly*"
4535. Aubergine: "*jerks her stepladder close, ascending to steal a glance of the new arrival. There, a dwarf in bikini stands: only briefly occupied with Orchid, soon gazing lecherously (obscenely, truly) at the town guard* Aubergine Parkinson."

Then, descending into a depression for which there was only one cure.

4547. Charlotte: "*she glances at Aubergine for a moment, then nods* Okay. I think that makes sense. *her gaze returns to the road* I am guessing the radio didn't help us in the search for Donii?"
4547. Aubergine: "Donii don't fucken exist. *presses a finger to her own forehead* Fake belief. Fucken don't know, 'Lotte. All cloudy, life fucken suck. *her voice trails off near the end, eyes chasing the scenery*"
4547. Aubergine arrived at Pok.
4548. Aubergine knocks on the door to Beekeeper Honey & Beverages.
4548. Aubergine: "*the dwarf bangs her fat fist against the door, the rain soaking her thoroughly*"

She wasn't the only person in need of a drink. Perhaps unsurprisingly all the men in her life were alcoholics.

4548. Nathor: "*he grins as he watches his movements* Yea, Big plans. I plan...*he takes another big drink* To get the entire Island drunk. *he moves the bottle around as he speaks* And watch the hilariousness ensue. *he looks at the lock while taking another drink* That's Awesome man. Wish I got something like that."
4548. Jack Johnson: "*he takes a drink and blurrs some of the brandy out as he starts laughing* whaa, the whole island drunk huh? Well thats a goal I'd like ta see. *he takes another sip and grins at him, holding the locket so he can look at it better* yeah, real proud of it. Ya know, I really had quite the troubles with the ladies before, but Ana is such a good girl, been so lucky ta have found her. "
4548. Nathor: "*he grins as he blurrs out the brandy* That's alcohol abuse you know...*he looks closer at the lock with a smile* Take happiness where you can get it. And I'm glad you found someone who is wakeful."
4548. Jack Johnson: "*he laughs* yeah, I'll try not ta abuse too much. *he looks thoughtful for a moment* I had wakeful girls before, they just made my life more harder? yellin and such? ooh man *he shakes his head and suddenly looks up* wow! she woke!"
4548. Jack Johnson: "*he looks her up and down with big eyes then looks at the bottle and shakes his head* this must be the effect of the drinkin right? "
4548. Nathor: "*he takes another big drink* Geeze, must of made this stronger than I thought...*he walks over to the chest and looks at it for a moment, then gets a paper out with a grunt, before he hands it to the woman, then walks over to where he was sitting before* There you go."
4548. Jack Johnson: "*he scratches his head, his upper body swaying already from the drinking* I ehm, think I had enough. My arms don't work as they should be and I start seein peeeople lookin.. oohw god, not like they supposed ta.. sorry hon *he blinks at the young woman, staring at her*"
4548. Nathor: "*he takes another drink after he sits down and looks at the woman for a moment* You know, I either never got your name, or I must have forgotten it. What is your name if you don't mind?"
4548. Nathor: "*he looks at Jack for a moment, with a smirk* You mean you are giving up?"
4548. Jack Johnson: "Ooh this never was a contest man, ya know I can't take my booze *he chuckles* what happened, did she fell in the press? *he nudges Nathor pointing his head towards the young girl, almost tumbling over, quickly leaning on his hand* "
4548. Jack Johnson: "*he puts the bottle away and shakes his head* I should stop drinkin, right now."
4548. Nathor: "*he blinks as it takes a moment to understand what that meant* Cmon man, that was not right. *his movements starts to sway as he stands up*"

Then came the radio announcement that would change her life in magical ways.

4557. Radio: "*a halting, baritone voice* Friends. This is Shaudawn of Olipifirovash. It is a great honor to invite all to our town to celebrate the season of winter on Day 4600. Come and see the fashion designs of Louisa and Libby as our models strut to show off the latest in design. There will be good food and good drink and the telling of stories around blazing bonfires. So bring your loved-one and come cozy up under warm blankets in Olipifirovash, Day 4600, for our Winter Festival."

Stay tuned for the next chapter!

[Kyriel]

Alright, you assed for it:

4726-3: Fondue Fontana says: "Ok, I'll see what the donkeys are like. Ain't nobody better make jokes about my ass, though."
4726-3: Casey says: "*hides a grin behind a hand* I wasn't the one who said it."
4726-3: You see Fondue Fontana start taming donkey.

4727-4: Fondue Fontana says: "Hey, Casey. These donkeys look kinda small. But make my saddle kinda wide for my rump, ok? Looks like it'll take about.. *she scratches her head and counts on one hand*...about four days and 120 hay when we tame 'm."
4727-4: Casey says: "So... I'll make sure there's plenty of room on your sassy ass for your sassy ass. Got it."
4727-4: Jack says: "Um..... which ones the donkey, which is the bum?"
4727-4: Fondue Fontana says: "Oh no he dinnit *she snaps and rolls her head around*"
4727-4: James Hoth says: "Run, Jack! Run!"
4727-5: Jack says: "Oh ... yes he did?"
4727-5: Fondue Fontana says: "*she stands both hands on hips* You gonna get a waster sammich, Jack."
4727-5: Jack says: "*mutters* Seems like a waste of a waster, and sandwich both, really."

4730-4: Fondue Fontana says: "*she spits on her hands, rubs them together and grabs a lasso* Ok, donkey. Let's do this."
4730-4: You see Fondue Fontana take some hay out of wooden trough and pick it up.
4730-4: You see Fondue Fontana use some hay on Taming donkey.
4730-4: Fondue Fontana says: "*she stares the animal in its face, spinning the lasso in circles above her head before launching it towards the donkey* And if you kick me, we're gonna have words. Mmhmm."
4730-4: Casey says: "*snickers* Words, like, the four-letter variety from you, and 'hee-haw' from the animal?"
4730-4: Fondue Fontana says: "Four letters, five letters, I might even know of a ten letter word or two. Might even string 'm together and come up with somethin' you ain't ever heard yet."

4731-5: Fondue Fontana says: "What do you get when you put a peacock on a donkey?"
4731-5: Casey says: "This is going to be something obscene, isn't it."
4731-5: Fondue Fontana says: "No. *she gaffahs* That was a serious question. Somebody has a dirty mind. *she rolls her eyes*"
4731-5: Casey says: "Which one of us started in on the ass jokes, anyway?"
4731-5: Fondue Fontana says: "Think it was Jack. *she twirled a braid and looks thoughtful* Yep, definitely Jack."
4731-5: Casey says: "*looks at Jack*"

4732-5: You give saddle to Fondue Fontana.
4732-5: Casey says: "Alright, here you go, Fondue. This saddle should provide ample room for your ass."
4732-6: Fondue Fontana says: "I hope you didn't run outta leather makin' it. *she laughs*"

4737-0: You see a donkey attack Fondue Fontana.
4737-0: Casey says: "*looks over to the donkey and scowls* Oh dear. I guess that taming attempt didn't go so well."
4737-0: You see Fondue Fontana take some hay out of wooden trough and pick it up.
4737-0: You see Fondue Fontana start taming donkey.
4737-0: You see Fondue Fontana use some hay on Taming donkey.
4737-0: Fondue Fontana says: "Stubborn ass, he kicked me *she picks a different donkey from the pack* Let's try this one."
4737-0: Jack says: "A short relationship, that one. But at least you were both upfront. You offered food, they declined and tried to trample you. *nods* Seems perfectly reasonable."
4737-5: Nathaniel Eppes says: "*after biting his tongue for far too long he finally blurts out* When asses attack... Oh, my mind has to stop putting those things in my head. I was finally getting over the dung and... aw damnit... double whammy. Lotta Dung, lady of the Ruby Castle.... she'll gladly challenge pirates to loot her rubies if they can handle it.... but what will they find after busting all those locks... Alright, enough, brain... I'll just focus real hard on this hay to get that stuff out of my system now."
4737-5: Fondue Fontana says: "When life gives you an ass kicking, get back up and kick some mass. *she says as she kicks an ass*"
4737-5: You see Fondue Fontana poke a donkey.

4739-3: You see Casey pet domesticated donkey.
4739-3: Casey says: "We did it! That ass is feeling nice and friendly. *smiles*"
4739-3: Fondue Fontana says: "Casey, you want to try to tame another one or just use this one for now?"
4739-3: Casey says: "Are you going to adopt it? You should... adopt the first one. So I can watch you and see how it's done. And uh, you deserve it and everything. And totally not because I don't want to get kicked."
4739-4: Fondue Fontana says: "Ok, I'll give it a shot "

4745-5: Jack says: "But it's nice having the two of you here too. Even if your donkey ways are odd and confusing."
4745-5: Casey says: "We're just making asses of ourselves."
4745-5: Jack says: "*sighs* Why couldn't we have horses. So many 'jokes' that would've gone unmade."
4745-5: Fondue Fontana says: "What would be the fun in that, Sugah?"

4746-6: Fondue Fontana says: "Looks like the peacock eats out if the saddlebag, too. And it left a few...little presents. Poor Sassy needs to be cleaned up. Got bird poo on her back. The feathers are nice, though."
4746-6: Casey says: "*giggles* Oh dear. Look, I might be making a lot of ass puns, but I'm not going to start making poo puns. I draw the line!"
4746-6: Fondue Fontana says: "Oh, thanks for the help with that Helaman. "
4746-6: Fondue Fontana says: "Yeah, dung go there Casey."
4746-6: Casey says: "I rose to the occasion in other sticky situations, I had no sage advice, but I was really feeling well that I didn't kick the bucket. I have to say that I'm pumped about fulfilling everyone's basic meads."
4746-6: Fondue Fontana gives Casey some fresh dung.
4746-6: Fondue Fontana says: "You get the Fondue Fontana Award For Excellence for that pun. There is your prize."
4746-6: Casey says: "*looks at it*"
4746-6: Casey drops some fresh dung.
4746-6: Casey says: "*slowly puts it down and goes over to the water pump to wash her hands thoroughly*"

4749-1: You see Fondue Fontana poke a donkey.
4749-1: Fondue Fontana says: "Casey, did you pick an ass yet? "
4749-1: Fondue Fontana says: "I find that poking your ass before start taming it helps a little. Let's you suss out the stubborn ones."
4749-2: You see Casey poke a donkey.
4749-2: Casey says: "So, pick the stubbornnest one?"
4749-2: Fondue Fontana says: "Only if taming wild asses is a favorite pass time of yours.
4749-2: Casey says: "I'll get this mead ready first, though."
4749-2: Casey says: "It seems I already had some honey on hand, but I don't remember where I got it."
4749-5: Fondue Fontana says: "Do you need a bucket, Casey?"
4749-5: Casey says: "Nope! Already at it, honey! *smiles* That should clarify things a bit! Then when I've got our basic meads left, I'll be ready to kick some ass."

4750-3: Casey says: "Dare I ask what the blindfold was for? Did someone have blind faith, or go on a blind date?"
4750-3: Jack says: "*tips a load of tools into the silo, with practiced ease from repetition* The former, I hope."

4753-2: Fondue Fontana says: "I'll help you with your donkey once I'm done with this sheep business, Casey."
4753-2: Casey says: "This ass isn't going to stop butting into people's business anytime soon. No need to be sheepish about it."
4753-2: Fondue Fontana says: "Where there's wool, there is a way."

4754-3: Casey says: "Hey, Joe, I think this ass is testy enough without being stabbed."
4754-5: Fondue Fontana says: "*she wags a finger at Sassy* You gotta start Darwin's your keep round here. I scrub your back erry day and all you do is munch on hay. Least the peacock makes pretty feathers for me. *she looks around* Yeah, I'm talkin' to a donkey. Gotcha all be giving me that look."
4754-6: Carrot Joe says: "Oh, sorry Casey. I will help you with taming. I don't know what got into me."
4754-6: Casey says: "Are you making an ass of yourself again, Fondue? *turns and smiles at Joe* Now there's a wise ass."

4761-3: Casey says: "Nice ass! Time to saddle up."
4761-3: Casey uses a saddle on Saddling domesticated donkey.
4761-3: Fondue Fontana says: "*she walks over and pats Casey on the butt* Nice ass."
4761-3: Jack says: "*looks over at the two ladies* I think you were very, very bored in your foresty home."
4761-3: Casey says: "Would have been less bored if it had actually been a forest. *grins*"
4761-3: Casey says: "Because then we would have had boards, so we wouldn't have to be bored."
4761-4: Jack says: "*groans* Walked into that one so hard, I can taste the splinters."

4763-6: Honna Grell says: "You guys are awful. I will be the last bastion of punless conversation in this town. *she folds her arms in defiance*"
4763-6: Jack says: "Join us! We have *waves screwdriver vaguely*, well. We could make more jokes about put things inside, or balanced precariously on, a donkey?"
4763-6: Nathaniel Eppes says: "No worry about puns. Eventually they'll go on a trip. Might return with an assload or two of things. Of course, if they're all loaded up, the weight might make them slow-asses. But if the donkeys are smart enough to keep proper balance with all that weight, they'd be pretty smart-asses. I just hope they won't have to carry flammable stuff, with all the exposure to sunlight they might catch fire and become.... no, no, I need to get my mind out of that loop. Plus it'd be a pain in the ass for me to come up with anything after I'd say hot asses, so I'm not going to say it. There, I didn't say hot asses. *he raises a brow and guffaws* Oh, my mind may be a scary place... full of dung-coated crazy savages rushing out of dung-fortresses to attack a type of pirates, and now all sorts of asses. I just hope I'll never find a cookie to feed to a donkey. *he glances at one of the animals and actually cringes a bit, though smirking* I am not going to ask if you want a cracker, ass..."
4763-6: Jack says: "*lets out a breath* Hrm. You must feel better, not having those bottled up anymore."
4763-6: Casey says: "Bottles. *nods thoughtfully* That would be more than you could beer. You mead to let it go now and then, for your own sake. You don't want to wine about it."
4763-6: Honna Grell says: "Aggghh! *She covers her ears*"
4763-6: Nathaniel Eppes says: "I bet it took a while to thrink that one up...."

4768-5: Casey says: "That's a gritty idea, Fondue. Wouldn't want it to be too corny, though. I don't know that I'd be able to beer it."
4768-5: Fondue Fontana says: "No corn puns please, they hurt my ears."
4768-5: Casey says: "I've got an eye on the potatoes, too. If you stay still for a bit, that'll get you in fine spirits."

4773-5: Casey say: "So, Jack, you'll be wanting a saddle for your ass, to saddle up your ass with so you have somewhere to put your ass? *pauses* I don't know, can you handle another hurricane of donkey puns?"
4773-5: Jack says: "*looks over at her* Do I have a choice?"
4773-5: Casey say: "*grins crookedly* I could try coming up with _new_ terrible puns."
4773-5: Casey say: "I assure you, when I assist you with assembling the assigned assets, I assert that I will neither assail, assault, nor assassinate you with puns."
4773-5: Jack says: "*tries to maintain a sad sad face in the storm of punnage*"
4773-5: Jack says: "I just wanna break things, and open em up. *sniff* Why must I *his breath catches histrionically* be pummeled, so much? Why?"

[Snickie]

I sincerely regret being asleep through all of that. Casey and Fondue are great.